Mischief and Mayhem

My name is Katherine and while visiting my cousin Edward at his cattle ranch in Texas several years ago, my four children and I enjoyed the change of pace from our busy lives back home in Florida. We learned about how much work it takes to care for horses, as well as the joy of riding, which I was glad my girls found out so they will stop asking Santa for a real pony. Riding is reasonable to do because there several stables around our home that provide trail riding. Because Cousin Edward also had chickens, a few cows and pigs, not to mention at least a dozen barn cats and their kittens, my kids and I had a wonderful time experiencing country living, as it were. The main rule is 'if you don't work, you don't eat' so everyone does something if they want to eat, so we planned to help as much as possible, even though this was supposed to be a vacation! A rooster woke us at early dawn, we had to get used to that, then we rose, dressed in 'work' clothes and helped gather the eggs from the hens. The eggs were still warm and the hens didn't seem to mind us reaching underneath them. We learned how to milk the cows and tasted fresh milk before it was pasteurized. It was an odd taste, but at the same time good.

After breakfast, we helped 'muck' out the stalls of the stable where the horses slept at night. This meant shoveling out the poop and dirty straw from the floor of each stall, putting it into a wheel barrow, pushing and dumping it in the compost area behind the wood pile. It was hot, tiring, dirty, stinky and slippery, but by the time we all had taken an unexpected tumble or two, we were having loads of fun before we were done. When the stalls were clean we spread fresh straw on the floor and moved on to other chores.

Over the entire month of our stay, we worked, had lots of fun and occasionally had down time to spend as we liked. One such time, I was in the dining room on my computer playing an online game called Candy Crush Soda Saga(c). I was on the level which required me to spread jam across the entire board. Once I'm in game mode I get so focused on clearing the board of the candy I forget the focus of that particular level (spreading the jam) and only realize it after I've used up all my moves and have to start all over again! So, to remind me of the focus, I was saying out loud, "Spread the Jam! Spread the Jam!"

Unbeknown to me, my nine year old son Jacob was in the kitchen getting a snack and hearing my loud calls, for some reason he thought I was giving him a order, so he grabbed a large jar of jam from the pantry and began to spread the jam on the floor of the kitchen! Every time I said "Spread the Jam!" he spread it further and further across the floor. At one point I glanced up and saw Cousin Edward trying to go in two different directions...his body was moving forward, while his head was facing backward toward the kitchen! He kept twisting his head forward than backward with an odd look on his face. Hearing a familiar giggle coming from the kitchen, I realized what Cousin Edward was looking at and I smiled. Raising my voice to the same level as before, I said, "Jake (my nickname for Jacob), I didn't mean that literally!" Silence reigned for a brief moment, then Jacob responds just as loudly with, "Oh, Man! Just when I thought you had joined the racks of the mischief and mayhem, now I'm going to have to clean it up!"

At that moment I heard the sound of a bucket full of water striking the floor and sloshing out. I said with a laugh, "it sounds like 'Cookie' (my name for the ranch cook) has given you the means to do so." With a loud melodramatic sigh admitting defeat, Jacob says, "Yes, Ma'am." Followed closing by the sound of more sloshing and a scrub brush scraping across the floor. It took Jacob twice as long to clean up the jam and it was to spread it because Cookie stated firmly that no one, other than the ranch hands, will be fed until his kitchen floor is back to the way it was - in other words very clean! My other three kids offered to help Jacob but he refused. He made the mess alone, he would clean it up alone. Thus ends the first and hopefully last action of the group of Mischief and Mayhem.

The End.