Messages From Heaven

Driving along the quiet country road , crying and feeling completely helpless and hopeless the words that spilled out of Lilly's mouth were of a woman who was at her wits end. You see, 2010 was a year with many endings and considerable hardship for this mature mother of 3.

Lilly was healing from a broken heart and today was a particularly tough day. As she drove and cried, she was having a conversation with her passed over mother, " mumma what am I meant to do, why do I keep bumping into obstacles, will this ever get any better, will I ever heal, will I ever laugh again or feel good about my life?", she was speaking out loud to herself, to the universe, to anyone who could give her some direction and help her feel even just a little better.

Lilly was the kind of person who worried about everyone else, she took care of her family, helped out at the children school and was always the first to put her hand up if anyone needed anything. Lilly had a mission to make a difference and she wanted her life to matter so she constantly exhausted herself putting everyone else's needs before her own.

Please don't misunderstand, Lilly loved her life and her family she just had a overly active desire to please as she thought that being in service to others was being a good person.

As a woman who wears many hats it is easy to fall into the trap of putting yourself last as there was always another task to be complete, another meal to make, another errand to run. Lilly had lived in a beautiful cedar home in the woods and raised her 3 amazing children, she ran a couple of business's and also helped take care of her aging mum. Until one year, 2010 things began to all fall apart, she first lost her home, then her marriage and her business and then the final straw was loosing her mum. Grief is a process and when you have several on top of each other it can all become too much to bear.

As Lilly rounded the next corner, traveling at a reasonable speed, there standing in the middle of the road was a barn owl. It was the middle of the day, what on earth was a barn owl doing standing on the middle of the road, just standing there. Lilly pumped her brakes but sadly there just wasn't enough time and her car collided with the owl. Lilly screamed as she desperately tried to find somewhere to pull over. Her mind was racing - what if she hadn't killed, that the owl was just hurt and suffering, what would would she do, could she bring herself to put the owl out of its suffering. Just as she jumped out of her car and was running back to check the owl a big 4 wheel drive came barrelling through and removed any possibility that the owl might still be alive.

Lilly went back to her car in disbelief, she was distraught that she had unintentionally killed this beautiful innocent creature. As she sat there with her head in her hands she heard a voice, it was the voice of her late mother saying " it was me, the owl was me, I came to remind you that nothing ever dies, it simply changes form and that you are never alone and always, always supported, I love you".

Lilly sat there as the memory of her mothers passing came back into full recall. Lilly remembers sitting with her mother as she was passing, Lilly loved her mother so much, even though they had had a challenging relationship and being a spiritual person Lilly asked her mother " when you pass mumma and you come to give a message, how will I know its you" Lilly's mother replied " Oh, you will know".

Lilly began to sob tears of unconditional love at the length her mumma had gone to to make sure Lilly knew she was loved and definitely not alone and that it can take time to heal our wounds.

To this day, Lilly knows the Barn Owl is her Spirit animal and she smiles with delight and knowing when ever she sees one.