Mauve

Mya Ash sat behind the counter of the bookstore, a mug of hot peppermint tea in one hand and in the other, a very well loved paper copy of Sherlock Holmes Complete Collection Volume 1.

Business had been slow today. Gray clouds and the heavy wind didn't make a downtown bookstore a priority on this Tuesday. On any weekday, Mya had never seen her bookstore filled to maximum occupancy, even with a corner section made of three tables and twelve chairs. That section was sometimes filled with some college students during the day. The weather today had probably kept them closer to campus.

The bell attached to the top of the front door dinged. Mya kept her eyes on her page. She wouldn't be needed right away. Her bookstore was well organized and the sections well labeled. People wandered, of course, but few ever asked her where things were. She had made things easy to find.

Fiction upstairs, non-fiction downstairs. They were divided even more from there into genres and a MISC section near the check-out counter.

"Nothing is better than a Sherlock Holmes mystery on a rainy day."

Mya froze. A chill went down her spine, spreading down her arms and legs, that wasn't from the fact that she sat by the window. It was the end of September, and this was Meijer, Virginia. It wasn't cold yet. It wouldn't be until late October.

Looking up slowly, Mya knew who she would find and what he would be wearing.

Standing ten feet away from her was Franklin Thomas in a fireman's uniform. Not the full gear, with the coat and helmet and boots. Just the more casual full navy uniform. He stood at just over six foot, still a rectangle from shoulder to shoe, and he was giving her that grin that made him look like a boy. His brown eyes were the same shade as his brown hair that was just long enough that it had the slightest wave to it.

Mya's heart said to run to him. Her head said to run out of the building. So she sitting on her tall wooden stool.

Ten...eleven...twelve seconds passed before Mya realized how long it had been since he had spoken.

She blinked twice. "What did you say?"

Franklin stepped toward the counter timidly. "You only read Doyle on a rainy day. You always choose the vintage copy that's been pre-bent so you don't feel responsible for wrinkling the spine." He nodded to her mug. "Peppermint tea, steamed for exactly four minutes, with one teaspoon of milk." This time, he pointed at her shirt. "With a mauve cardigan on. That one is new."

Mya wanted to correct him and say it wasn't new since she bought it from a thrift store, but she would be wrong since it was new to him. She also wanted to slap him. And hold him. Throttle him and kiss him and then maybe slap him again.

She stayed sitting. First make a choice, then act. Since there were too many choices she wanted to do all at once, she would wait until her brain came to terms with the fact that he was here. Standing in front of her, in her book store, after twelve months apart.

"Why are you here?" Mya barely heard her own voice.

Franklin stopped just in front of the counter. He didn't put his hands on it, didn't make any gesture toward her. He blinked and she saw the Franklin she had known a lifetime ago. The man she loved simply being with, in the quiet of their old apartment in Manhattan where she would be studying for her MBA and he would be studying for the sergeant's exam.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

The bell rang again and Mya forced herself to come to reality. A line of half a dozen college kids went straight for the study corner.

Mya knew those kids. A couple of the girls would browse while the rest of the crew began homework. If the girls found something to buy, they would do it just before they left. They usually stayed for a couple of hours.

"Upstairs." Mya pulled the sleeves of her mauve cardigan over her hands as she walked toward the staircase. She wasn't cold. She just needed comforting.

They met three years ago at a Christmas party that Mya's coworker had hosted. It wasn't as much the traditional Christmas party as some friends gathered over Chinese take-out and board games. The chemistry between Mya and Franklin was obvious the two of them, along with everyone else, when they teamed up for a trivia game.

Even so, it took a couple of weeks of texting and video calls, all filled mostly with casual conversation and witty banter, before he asked her to grab a drink with him. Mya, who had always been the most blind woman to flirting, said yes, thinking it would just be as friends.

But as the night went on, she started getting the impression this wasn't just a friendly meeting. Franklin had seemed more intentional, more personal, in both the questions he asked and the conversation they made.

Mya talked about her family that lived in Virginia. Franklin's family lived on Staten Island. His dad was one of the biggest real estate names on the island. Mya knew that meant he came from money, but Franklin Thomas never once acted like it. He was kind, personal, and something deep inside Mya knew she was safe with him. He was strong and physically fit, and that helped, but there was something else that made her feel safe. At the time, she had no idea what it was.

They had left the bar as friends, with a promise to have lunch later that week. Two dates after that lunch date, Franklin walked her to her car. Whereas before he had opened the door for her, this time he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

Mya had been kissed before, but it was nothing like that. By then, she knew why she felt safe with him. He had confidence without being cocky. He knew what he wanted out of life. Franklin wanted a home in the country that had a wrap-around front porch that could hold two rocking chairs, and overlooked four acres for half a dozen children to run around. Franklin had a healthy relationship with his emotions and mental health. He cared about his job and his friends.

Franklin Thomas felt like a man too good to be true.

Driving away after the kiss, Mya knew he wasn't perfect. She was okay with that. But she knew, in the deepest basement of her soul, that she would be a fool to let go of a man like Franklin.

Upstairs, at the very back of the MYSTERY section, was another small sitting area. An old tan tweed couch, an overstuffed chocolate leather chair, a dark wood coffee table with five magazines, and a little gray space heater that Mya had just added that morning. She had to keep the book store cold, so the pages of the books wouldn't whither, but cooler weather was at least four weeks away so she had to start preparing now.

On the couch, Mya curled herself into a ball on the end seat. She now regretted leaving her mug on the counter. She needed something to do with her hands.

The magazines. They needed to be rearranged. She had them alphabetized, but maybe they would look better if arranged by color. There were only five of them so using ROY G BIV in its entirety wasn't an option.

Mya placed the magazine with a violet cover on the bottom, then looked for a blue one.

"Mya." Franklin was sitting about a foot away, his elbows on his knees.

There wasn't a blue one. A green one...yes! This cover had a white background with the model in a gaudy green dress. Then what came next? Mya had to think since she was, for some reason, working backwards.

Yellow...yellow...

"Mya." Franklin tried again.

No yellow. Damn. Orange was next. But two covers had orange and they looked the same shade of pumpkin. Now she would have to go by thickness. The one on the-

Franklin took her hands in his. "Mya, stop." He was impatient now. "Look at me."

Mya kept her eyes on their hands. His touch still made her feel safe. She was nearly as tall as him in her heeled boots. Her hands were thin and long while his hands were wide and fat. She remembered how difficult it was to find gloves for him in the wintertime. It didn't help that he hated mittens.

"You never answered my question." Mya cleared her throat. This had to stop. She had to get control of herself. "Why are you here?"

"You know why." Franklin's tone was sad now. He set his hand on her cheek. "It was one year ago today."

Six months after the date where he kissed her, they moved in together. Three days after getting engaged, she showed him a positive pregnancy test.

No one had been happier than Franklin. At that point, they were still debating on whether to move to Virginia or stay in Manhattan. With a baby on the way, they put the wedding on pause. Franklin's dad suggested the condo on Staten Island that he'd always had reserved for Franklin, if he ever decided to leave fire fighting and join the family business. Franklin said yes only for the sake of the baby. Mya's apartment barely had room for her and Franklin. A baby wouldn't fit. They moved to Staten Island and found a doctor.

Eight months and six days after taking that first test, Mya delivered a seven-pound eight ounce baby girl. Leslie-Anne was born with a head of blonde hair, ten little toes and ten little fingers, and a heart that wasn't beating. The doctor and nurses did all they could, but it was of no use.

Two months later, while Franklin was at work, Mya left his ring and a note on the front coffee table, boarded a ferry, then stepped on the first plane from JFK to Arlington.

Mya hadn't sobbed over Leslie-Anne in four months. She hadn't let herself. Over the past year, she had spent her time renovating her uncle's book store then eventually buying it, avoiding Franklin's calls, and trying to find her life again.

A life that hadn't involved Franklin Thomas until ten minutes ago.

***

When her sobs began, Franklin Thomas enveloped her in both arms. He had dozens of questions but they could wait.

He had come to visit her once after she left him. Franklin had found her at this very bookstore, back when it looked like a tornado ran through it. There was no organization. Their...talk...happened in the back room, where the surplus books were kept.

Their "talk" had turned into a fight. A loud one. One that he realized later unleashed all the anger they had both kept inside of them after losing their daughter. He said words that cut her deep, she said the same to him, and he drove back to Manhattan that night. He had made plans to stay a few days in Meijer, but he couldn't after that fight. There was too much hurt.

Even now, holding Mya Ash in his arms, made Franklin feel like his world was a little more complete. It had been fully whole when it was just him and Mya. Then Leslie-Anne came in, and Franklin got a taste of what life was really all about. Mya was still the sun in his sky, but his little world had exploded when his daughter was born. It became bigger and a lot of things he once thought mattered had now become meaningless.

It was still a big world, but it was as empty as it had ever been.

His family saw it. His friends and coworkers saw it. Franklin Thomas wasn't the same man anymore.

When Mya was calmer, Franklin eased her back. She wiped her cheeks and under her nose with her sweater. Her blonde hair was still the color of the sun. Leslie-Anne had looked exactly like her mother. She'd had Mya's ears, nose, lips, and blue eyes.

"Go, Franklin." Mya sniffed hard. "Just go."

"You don't want me to leave. We both know that."

Mya covered her face with her sleeve and her shoulders shook with a sob. Franklin kept his hands on her shoulders.

He and his parents had visited Leslie-Anne's grave on the one year anniversary of her death. Franklin had gone there every day that week, waiting for Mya. He had already quit the fire department by that point. He spent sunrise to sunset there, eating a packed lunch and telling Leslie-Anne how amazing her mother was, and how much they both wished Leslie-Anne could be here with them instead of them being here without her. He waited and waited and journaled and waited. Mya never came.

So Franklin came to her. And he had no plans to let her go again.

In a surprise move, Mya wrapped her arms around his neck. Franklin had held her many times before, and physically she felt a bit thinner, but this embrace felt different. This one came on the one year anniversary of him coming home to an empty condo and a letter.

"I should have come on her anniversary. I should have brought flowers. Told her I love her and I miss her."

"I waited for you, at her grave."

Mya leaned back, surprise on her face. "You did?" Her eyes and lips frowned. "Of course you did." A shadow fell over her face. "I felt so much shame, Franklin."

"For what?"

"All you wanted was a family...and I couldn't give it to you."

The words hit him like a wrecking ball. They knocked the wind out of him for a few moments. "Mya..." Franklin took her shoulders again. "Do you blame yourself for Leslie-Anne's death?"

She crossed her arms over her stomach. "I should have done something different. I should have done better."

"There was nothing you could have done. The doctor said so. She had a heart defect."

"A heart defect from my side of the family. It's how my mom died." Mya sounded angry now. "You heard the doctor. There's a high chance any other child I carry will have the same defect." Now she sounded defeated. "I can't do that again. Not to me or to you. That's why I left."

Franklin was stunned. Absolutely stunned. All that compassion he had been feeling was replaced with anger. "That is the most...selfish decision."

Mya's eyes immediately met his. "Excuse me?" She sounded more shocked than angry.

Franklin's words came through gritted teeth. "I heard every word the doctor said. It demolished me as much as it did you." He stood. His hands were fists. "But if you had stayed even one more hour at the condo, I would have come home and told you we should look at the calendar and circle a wedding date."

"You...you still wanted to marry me?" Mya's voice was a shocked whisper.

"What we had, Mya...not everyone finds it. I believed we would find our way back to each other. I earnestly believed we could make it." Franklin was doing all he could to hold at bay the anger he so badly wanted to unleash. This couldn't end like last time. "But you didn't. Maybe you never did. Maybe I was the only one."

"Franklin..." Mya stood, her voice desperate and her eyes saying she wished she could turn the clock back. "I had no-" She took a step toward him but Franklin put up a hand to stop her.

"No, Mya. I need time." He walked toward the shelves then stopped. Franklin turned his head to the right but didn't look at her. "I still have the same number, if you've kept it." His last four words were clipped. Franklin's boots pounded the floor as he left the book store.

***

Mya had kept his number. She had started and deleted so many text messages over the past year. On the lonely nights when all she wanted to do was hear his voice or see his face, she stared at the phone icon and video message icon. But she never took the next step.

It took her two days after that fight to realize everything he had told her was right, and three more days to find the courage to find him and tell him so.

Mya's journey to healing had reached a point where she had become selfish. She had completely forgotten the man who had experienced the exact same thing she did. He had taken time off work to care for her when her morning sickness extended past the morning. He built the nursery furniture, helped pick out a name, and spread his hands over her ever-growing belly. He smiled at the kicks and read their baby story after story. Franklin didn't feel what she felt, as the one growing the actual baby, but they had shared in the excitement, and then the plummeting disappointment.

The demolishing, as he had called it. Mya had always known there was a poet in him.

Mya pulled into the largest fire house on the west end of town. As Franklin walked away from her at Mauve, she noticed the badge on his uniform was for MFD, not NYFD. One phone call to her sister later, a woman who knew all the town gossip, and Mya learned everything.

Franklin had moved to town two weeks ago. He was a lieutenant for the fire department, working alongside Mya's brother-in-law, David. Husband of the town's biggest gossip. Franklin had bought a townhouse three miles from the fire house.

Mya walked in the fire house, making the correct turns and taking the right set of stairs, as if going toward David's office, then slowed the moment she entered the right hallway. She stopped so she remained out of sight.

There was a team meeting, which the entire fire house were gathered for. Franklin stood near the back. His profile was all she saw. Mya had forgotten how handsome he was.

She wanted to run but she stayed.

David, who had been standing next to Franklin, saw her first. Sympathy filled his eyes. Mya pointed to Franklin. David elbowed Franklin lightly then nodded. Franklin looked at her, and all she saw was walls. She deserved all of them. He glanced in front of him, at the man who was speaking, then came to Mya.

"I'm interrupting." Mya said. "I should go."

"Come here." Franklin took her arm and guided her back to the stairs.

"It sounded serious."

Franklin looked back at the meeting. His eyes were serious. Mya knew without details that it was something that he needed to be there for.

Mya wasn't leaving. She quickly changed what she came here to say. She took his hand. He stiffened. She deserved that too.

"The police are here. There were suspicious items found at the dock fire last week. They think it's arson. I was on the scene."

Mya had heard about the fire from her sister. She pulled at the sleeves of her mauve cardigan. Her other one. It was her favorite color.

Mya let her hair go then took a deep breath. "Everything you said was right, Franklin. All of it."

Franklin shook his head. "Mya, this is not-"

"We are two different people now, and we should be. If you're willing, maybe we can figure out who the other person has become." Mya didn't mention anything about feelings. It was way too soon. Her words were steady and confident. "Maybe...we can start over."

Franklin searched her eyes. She expected him to say no. Then he squeezed her hand. "I would like that."

Mya kept her smile contained, despite the massive amounts of relief and hope running down her spine. He didn't hate her after all. "I am having some friends over on Sunday night, for take-out and board games. We start at six and usually end around nine."

Franklin smiled. "Still partying hard, even in Meijer, Virginia." He had teased her. Things could actually be comfortable between them again. He ran his thumb across the palm of her hand. "I'll text you."

Mya poked his shoulder. "I hope you remember all that useless trivia. We'll need it."

Franklin arched a brow at her. "One does not easily forget that the idea to put a handle on the tea cup originated in Germany."

Mya rolled her eyes. "The things you choose to remember..." They both chuckled. "You should get back in there." Despite the way things ended at the book store, she squeezed his hand. "If this case ends up being something big, be careful. Please."

Franklin looked touched. "I will." He motioned to her cardigan. "Wear that on Saturday, even if I can't make it."

Mya smiled. The harmless flirting felt nice. "I forgot this is your favorite color."

"No, you didn't." Franklin winked then took a few steps away. "Bye, Mya."

"Bye, Franklin."