Love, Death, and Marigolds

The Summers spent with my Grandparents in Georgia were like none other. I spent every Summer there from ages 5 to 16. The hot Georgia sun was intense at first. Especially for a girl from Seattle where you never knew what the Summer is going to be like but for the majority of the year you can see the city lights reflected in the rain puddles on the street. I love my rainy little city but there's something so serene about those Georgia Summer nights that I won't soon forget.

This is how our daily routine went when I was a little girl, I would stay with my Grandparents the whole Summer. I would sleep in and when I woke up Grandma had breakfast all whipped up. She would always make something amazing, but I would usually leave the breakfast table with my eyes bigger than my stomach. She'd make eggs, bacon, pancakes, orange juice, AND coffee. Every morning was different but nonetheless it felt like everyday was a breakfast buffet especially compared to what I'm used to, I usually just have something I can take on the go that's smaller and albeit lacking in substance, but with them every morning was an EXPERIENCE.

After breakfast, when Grandpa was done reading his newspaper he would bounce me on his knee and ask me "What kind of flower do you want to be today?" I would usually answer with one of the few flowers I knew at the time considering I was about 6 or so; these were my defaults; I would either go with a Tulip, a Rose, or a Daisy. When I made my choice he would sing to me "Grandpa's little flower, way up in the tree every time Grandpa passes Emily kisses me" As he would sing to me I would imagine that I was a little flower way up in the tree, but then I would get distracted and ask myself "Do flowers really grow in tree's?" Well regardless it was still a nice moment.

After breakfast the day was pretty much ours to do with whatever we wanted after our chores of course. Some days I would read, I remember the Summer when I turned 15 I read Catcher in the Rye in one afternoon. Looking back at it, it's kind of ironic because it's as if the moral of the story was to prepare me for what was coming.

One afternoon I found a nearby arcade. Nothing too fancy, just a pinball machine and a couple of arcade cabinets. I think they had a Pac-Man arcade and maybe one more. Now that I think about it, this arcade was kind of an after thought since it was just a weird addition to this particular convenient store. But I sure did pick a great day to explore because as I made my way through this makeshift arcade there he was. Playing the pinball machine. He was wearing cargo shorts and a short sleeved shirt that exposed his rippling triceps each time he pulled the lever. How would I ever work up the courage to talk to this beautiful stranger? I figured my best shot was to get him to notice me and maybe he would talk to me. So I put a quarter in the arcade next to him. Space invaders! That's what it was! So I began to invade space and this did not work. He left quickly after that. Come to think of it, maybe it's his space that I was invading. As he made his way to the door, something came over me and I just yelled "Hey!" He turned around and silly me. I didn't come up with anything else to say. I just decided to yell "Hey!" like I was ordering some bratty kids to keep off my lawn. Ugh I'm such a spaz! So I said "You wanna walk me home? I'm new around here." I'm new around here?! I've been here every Summer since I was 5 and I'm new around here?! Great job Em, start off with a lie that you know you're going to forget. Anyways he agreed to walk me home and we stopped by the "store" part of the store and I grabbed some pop rocks and a coke and as I went to check out, my beautiful stranger said "I got it" and paid for our snacks, what a gentleman.

"So what's your name?" I asked with a slight yet totally noticeable tremble in my voice. "Owen" he replied. Then almost immediately I screw everything up and ask "You new around here? I haven't seen you around here before" which naturally he replies back "I thought you were new around here?" Well...that didn't take long. Alright here we go, honesty is really the only way out of this one lying further will only make matters worse. See this?! THIS is why I don't lie, I suck at it. So here I go. I worked up the courage and told him the truth despite the fear of how I was going to look… "That was a lie, I just really wanted to meet you and I was nervous and I'm not so great at thinking on my feet'' A crooked smile past his face and it looked like a freaking teeth whitening commercial. He had the most beautiful sky blue eyes, and a dazzling smile that was like a window into his personality. It was like a tiny secret, hidden in his smirk a secret meant for us and us alone. Not to mention his flowing honey colored hair, he was just Fabio, ya know what let's just say Fabio, for the imagery. I swear he smiles and all the insecurities, doubts, everything just melts away and just like fire it's all consuming , right sorry, let's get back on track here. So after he flashed his pearly whites my way he said he wanted to meet me too but just had a mini freak out but in a more collected fashion (not his words) but he did say he wanted to meet me too but he was also nervous so he gave up before even trying, well we wanted to meet and here we were meeting. We started hanging out a lot more. This weird little arcade became a regular spot of ours but it was always bittersweet because we knew that when Summer was over it was back to our normal lives until we would meet again.

Things were really great for a while, I'd bring Owen over to visit my Grandparents and they just loved him. They shared a similar sense of humor, Owen shared a lot of the same views as my Grandfather. We would have him over for dinner and watch Wheel of Fortune then go make out on the tire swing in the backyard under the stars. Life was really good at least in the Summer. But then my Grandparents started to get sick. First it was my Grandfather who suffered from kidney failure that put him into a coma that he never recovered from. We knew he was sick. We could see for a good year or two that things were slowing down so we made it our mission to make the most of the time we had.

One of my favorite memories of our final moments was when we went to this botanical Garden when I was 14 it had all my favorites; Tulips, Roses, and Daisies! For old times sake Grandpa asked me " What flower do you want to be today?" As he asked me this we were passing by this sea of Yellow to this day I haven't seen anything quite like it. I pointed at one and said "I don't know what this one is but I LOVE it" then he responded by picking the flower, placed it behind my ear and said "That my dear is a Marigold flower and it is bright and cheery just like you." It's hard for me to believe such a straight laced man who was once in the military can still appreciate the simplest beauties in life. He was so strong but so tender.

After he passed away 3 days into his coma. Owen really helped me. He provided emotional support, stuck by me, and helped me take care of my Grandmother when I decided to move there full time after the passing of my Grandfather when I was 16. She was having a hard time coping and her method was just to keep busy to try to keep her mind off of things. She would spend the majority of her time in the garden planting various flowers to try to make a now dreary place cheery again. She used to plant these amazing peach colored roses which I then later adapted for my own home.

With my Grandfather at least we had a warning. As for my Grandmother that was not the case. Roughly 6 months after I had made the decision to move there permanently the Summer I turned 17. She unexpectedly had a heart attack in her sleep and passed away. I don't know why I thought I'd get that same storybook moment with her that I did with my Grandfather. We loved each other very much but I think after Grandpa's death things were just strained. We didn't really fight or anything, it's just we both felt incomplete and were kind of just wrapped up in our own grieving process and then just like that she was gone. It's taken some time but I finally realized that perfect moments are only perfect when they happen organically. You can't plan a perfect moment because the moment isn't created by circumstance it's created by people and even if her passing felt untimely her life was full of imperfect circumstances that were complimented by perfect little moments throughout the time she shared not just with me but with anyone's path she had crossed in her life. Despite my regrets and what if's. I will always go to bed knowing I was Grandma's little helper and Grandpa's little flower.

Owen and I later married and moved back to the city. After our first was born. We revisited my Grandparents and at their grave we left 2 flowers one Peach colored Rose and one Marigold.