Lifelong Nightmare

When I was seven I had a dream of a shark trying eat me. I woke up in a panic as nothing from my imagination had ever felt this realistic. It was after my mom had just told me the story of Medusa. As I fall into a deep sleep I noticed myself at the beach far from my family. I take a step into the ocean and the tide sucks me in. I can’t move I can’t breathe, I can only watch as great white shark swims towards me. I try my best to scream but to no avail. The shark gets within feet of me before I abruptly wake up.

The next day in school was rough. I hadn’t slept on a count of being afraid of the shark that stalked me in my sleep. Later at home that night after my mother read me my nightly bedtime story I stayed up the entire night. As a kid it was easy staying up. I turned on my video game system and played games all night. Avoiding this shark was easier than I thought.

That next morning in school, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was 2nd grade so nap time wasn’t a thing anymore. During lunch I put my head down as I couldn’t fight the sleep anymore. There it was. I started the dream already in the water, the shark approached me. Right before he could eat me, Ms. Janey the lunch monitor woke me up. I thought I was sleep for 2 seconds but it seems I slept the whole 30 minutes. That night I went home and it was the same formula. I would eat, read bedtime story, and play video games for the whole night. This had become my routine like clockwork.

My teacher noticed I wasn’t attentive anymore as I used to love participating in class. She sent me to the school counselor to talk about why I have been so groggy as of late. All I could tell her was how terrified I was to close my eyes because I knew the shark would be there. My counselor explained to me they’re only dreams and they can’t hurt me. Being that she was an adult, I believed her. Later that night I didn’t touch the video game console but instead I closed my eyes to go to sleep. As much as I trusted my counselor I immediately lost it as the shark continued to haunt my dreams.

Fast forward to my years in college I’m now an insomniac. Avoiding sleep in fear of a great white shark is one thing but now I’m avoiding sleep just to study and get work done. Caffeine has become a huge part of my life. I remember the first sip of coffee I took in high school and how it made me feel. One cup in the morning completely erased how I felt staying up all night. During my college years however, the effects of coffee wore off. The spurts of sleep I was getting brought the same results as when I was 7. The shark is still there every single time I close my eyes. Sometimes close sometimes far, sometimes in water sometimes out water. I began taking caffeine pills because I knew I just needed a higher a higher dosage of caffeine. I managed to get through college on cat naps but I knew it was destroying my body.

After college, fear and paranoia riddled my body over this shark. I was a bartender because I figured if I’m going to stay up all night why not get paid to do so. I began talking to someone at the bar and I told them my story. They mentioned heroin to me, I had taken caffeine and cannabis and quite frankly that’s as far as I was willing to go. The bar patron told me how good I’d feel, and to be honest I wanted that feeling.

After the bar shut down the bar patron walked to their car to retrieve a bag. We both sat on a bench towards the back of the bar. They showed me how to do it so I went for it. I stuck the needle in my body and allowed it’s contents to takeover. It felt amazing, while my eyesight became blurry my body felt like a cloud. I smiled from ear to ear as this was the first sense of relaxation I’ve ever had. I close my eyes to escape my blurry vision.

After what seems like forever, the shark appears. It begins moving closer and closer but I know the protocol. The shark gets close enough but I wake up in a panic it won’t get me. As the shark gets closer my body does not wake me. I’m terrified as I can feel my heart racing in my body from my dream. I begin to cry, I’ve never had the shark this close to me before. Something is wrong, why am I not waking up? The moonlight illuminating my dream starts to dim. The shark is staring at me as my dream gets darker and darker. The final thing I see is the shark opening his mouth. It’s the last thing I ever remember seeing. After all these years the shark finally got me.