Level Four: Claustrophobia

"Self-control." I reminded myself. It's been a constant concept in real life, to whatever layer of dreaming I find myself in, and I dislike it big time. It's one of those traits like courage, bravery, patience and stuff like that. You can't be considered any of those things unless something — usually bad — were to present itself to you. Handling it well, heroically, or above average is what allows you to be someone who holds that trait, but you have to do it again, and again, and again. As the sun, it's like part of the job and I'm weak in such a criteria, yet I can't get fired.

"I should cut my hair before the level starts," Shyrene said out of nowhere, playing around with the ends of her strands. "Not because I don't want to give you guys another way to kill me and make it easier on you, but because it's giving me chills. Other weapons stay like 15 feet away unless there's a case coming up, and I get a break from them for the majority. My hair is on my back at all times. There's no escaping it."

"I think it'd look good on you. A new look? What's not to like?" Blake responded, without having to blink. It disgusted me, as she continued to spin the strands around her finger, a cutesy teeth-smile formed like it planned on staying there for a week. A high pitched sound came out of her, basically giving the vibe of "really?" or "yeah? you think so?", though she failed to actually form proper words. She must've taken herself back to her toddler days when she tries flirting.

He didn't seem to dislike her approach or make a big deal about any of it, and gave her an enthusiastic nod. As if she needed his permission to go through with something that would be for her own good, she scurried off, far away from us, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was climbing down layers in my head. For as far as I was able to see her, it didn't appear she had intentions to stop.

"Aren't you ever frightened about her, Blake? You both started off at six lives each, and she's already lost three of hers. You still have five," I mentioned, just to put it out there while she wasn't around. "Do you ever feel you should be protecting her? I know you said that while you're in your other mode, you have different motives, but isn't there still love and care for her in both of you?"

"How did you know I was in love with her?" He stood up abruptly, distancing from me like I was some creepy spirit haunting him, his movement awkward as he got a couple steps further. Regardless, I couldn't be phased by it. Not after the question that spilled out of him.

"I didn't, but I do now," I responded, a smug curl to my lips. "I meant about your friendship, Blake, — like a friendly type of love — but you're in love with her? Like in love, in love? Why doesn't she know that?"

"She can't know, Ell," Blake sat back down just as awkwardly as he stood up. He knew there was no getting out of this. "I swear to God, having the chance to live here after our world disintegrated had to be a punishment for me. The higher ups of this power-community just threw her in here to suffer because I was stupid. If it's really my fault, and she's not supposed to be going through all of these traumatic experiences, then what does that make me? I'm the source of her sorrow."

I scratched my head, unsure if I understood him. He's been considering himself the bad guy all this time, however long it's been, and yet I couldn't look at him and think of one terrible thing he's done, even when I saw his crazy side myself. There's nothing worse than that, but I still can't accept him to be a bad person. He has a good heart. "What did you do that's so wrong? You're acting like you started a war."

He looked down, fumbling with his hands. "I didn't realize I was in love with her." He said, under his breath, "from the first day she showed up at work, and she was the only one in the entire store that was nice to me, I should've known that I was. We were working retail, and there's nothing typically good that comes out of that, with both customers and employees, but she was this little miracle from the start."

Observing him, I couldn't pretend I didn't see that he remembered the day he was reflecting on so well, it's as if it happened yesterday. "First I dated this one woman," he went on, "she was a sweet girl, and I did love her in some way. The one thing about her is she always played so tightly to the rules of wrong and right, sometimes I felt suffocated. You can't do this, and you can't do that, but you can do this type of lifestyle. It must've not been romantic love, or if it was, it wasn't as much as I had for Shyrene. The only thing I came out of it with is that I knew I have passion, hobbies, and my own person I wanted to be."

"After that woman, I dated another girl too, who I also think I loved. I thought she'd be good for me because she was the opposite of my first. A little wild and crazy, and I thought because of her I wanted to become more, to be a better person. It's true that because of her I stepped out of my comfort zone, and that got me some good opportunities, that I wouldn't have gotten. I give her that, but she also got me in so much trouble. Sometimes staying in your comfort zone is good. I learned that lesson from her."

I nodded as he spoke to prove to him he was listening, and with how shy he was to speak about it, I'm nearly 100% sure that if I would've stopped nodding, he would've stopped talking. "So? You learned lessons from these people and that's it. Maybe Shyrene is the blissful love that'll last. You're not gonna know if you don't tell her."

"I can't just put it out there, Ell. It's not that simple," His foot began shaking, it could vibrate the entire floor if he went on with it. "She watched me date these people, and literally put her in the background. In those times she saw me start to seem to prefer hanging around them more than her, which was never true, but I did act like it. Suddenly I didn't have time for her. I treated our friendship like it was shallow, like I didn't value it. There's nothing anchored and nothing to trust.

"Besides, what am I supposed to say to her? If I say that I never loved the others, what is it that convinces her that I'd cherish her feelings and that she'd be different? But if I said I did, how does it feel knowing exactly every step that I took with them, and accepting that I'm coming to her next? I think it's too much to take in.

"And there's one thing about Shyrene that I think you don't understand, Ell," throughout the entire speech he'd been giving, he showed himself to be small and worth being stomped over like he deserved it, but when he spoke now, he was defensive, it felt like it was on loud speaker.

"It's not that I don't want to protect her, but the reason why she's down more lives than I am isn't because she's weaker, but because she's stronger and braver. She puts herself out there, and gives her best, whatever side she's on. She doesn't half-ass anything. She's the literal definition of girl power, and I'm not going to be toxic about that. I like that about her, actually. She's the only person I've met that has the ability to make me more in only the ways I should, and she probably already knows exactly how she's going to use her last three lives. If she does lose them and disappear, that means she trusts you enough to pass the game so she can come back. I look out for her if that's what you mean, but she doesn't need my protecting."

I crossed my legs, leaning my upper body closer to him, as he went on with his rant. I was prepared to interrupt him several times, but every time I attempted to, I could tell by his strong belief in her, he'd pass through it and never hear it. By time he finished, I took over right away. "You have to tell her," I told him, my own conviction developing out of his strength.

"Ell, didn't you listen to anything I—."

"If you finish this mission inside of my head, where do you go after that?" I didn't allow him to finish, knowing exactly what he was going to say, and I thought him being cut off would add to this conversation going in my favor.

"Probably the only real world left. Your world, I'd assume." He answered on flow to my slight tweak in topic, and I almost wanted to laugh with how natural it came to him, despite being interrupted, but I knew that giggling now wasn't going to help my case.

"Camdyn and I are here for the same reason that you and Shyrene are, I bet my kidney. If it's not hidden love, then it's forgiveness."

"I have no idea what you're getting at, Ell."

"Shyrene likes you too."

"Sh-she does?"

LEVEL FOUR, CLAUSTROPHOBIA, FEAR

OF CONFINED SPACES

COURSE LOADING, WILL BE COMPLETED

IN 38 SECONDS

LEVEL FOUR, BEGIN!

"Gosh, it's already getting to the point that they don't even warn us. They just start without saying they're starting," Shyrene whined. She automatically teleported right back to us, wherever she went off to when the game started, and the tips of her hair were the tiniest bit uneven. "I didn't even get to finish cutting it!"

"No worries. You're rocking the new look." I complimented her. As I did, the dimmed lights around us went out completely, and we were walking blindly forward, putting trust that our feet would know better. "Right, Blake? Isn't she?" I added, to tame myself while I teased him. It was a pretty win-win idea. "You saw her before it went dark so don't try to make up excuses!"

"Of course, she looks delightful like I said she would," his voice admitted, clearly lacking confidence, but meaning every word.

Shyrene was touched when it came from him, as I'd expect. "Thank you, Blakey."

We walked on together with good vibes until we ran ourselves straight into a closed door, with a lampshade to its left that functioned by a flicker at best, if it wasn't totally out. It was enough light to catch Blake steal loving glances at Shyrene and as jealous as I felt watching it with how much I wanted that and as cute as he was around her, it couldn't be my number one focus at the second, and compared to what that had to be, I wish it could've been. In fact, all of us had to snap out of that.

The area reeked, growing worse from behind the door, like something behind it was rotting away, and it made me want to vomit all over the floor. In hopes I wouldn't, I did have to gag and I could feel my saliva getting more runny, having to swallow it down more often. As I backed away, Camdyn actually had the gut to bend down to the bottom of the door where the light didn't reach, and even as a bystander, I knew it was too much when he came back with his hand stained bright red.

"Is that—? Blood?" I asked, stating the obvious, pointing him all I could manage to do. Fear and disgust was filling his face, and not a feature could get away with not feeling that. His body and his positioning, I could tell, I definitely wasn't the only one freaking out already. I couldn't help but to break that rule, not with such a sight. "Is it yours?"

"No, it's not."

"I don't know if that makes this better or worse," I cried aloud, but I stopped because of the flinch that went up my skin when Shyrene began hitting at the nightstand the lamp balanced on. She appeared to need our attention, and I was all ears to what she had to say, if it meant that we were a step closer to getting out of this.

"Listen up, guys." She commanded, rustling a paper in her fingers until it unfolded, fully outspread, and from it she started to read. "The claustrophobia level is an interactive. Behind the door, I have a surprise puzzle for you guys to put together. Each time the targeted player expresses fear or experiences accelerated heart rate, the walls from every side will close in by one foot, then two, then four, then eight and so on. When you're ready to begin the level, there's a key to the door in the drawer below the lampshade. Happy playing, loves!"

I stared at Shyrene in shock, like she was the one who made up the rules to this game. I knew she wasn't, especially with as shocked as she was herself reading off the paper she found, or more icky than anything, but I had no one to burst out on nearby, and she happened to be the closest candidate for that position.

"There is no way I'm opening up a door that's bleeding out of the cracks."