Kitsune's Intervention: A Very Inconvenient Yokai

"I'm telling you, Christie, he is CHEATING on you!"

She sighed hard. "Min... I know you think that, but Darryl would never cheat. He is so thoughtful and so, so loyal. He is just the absolute sweetest. I lucked out so hard marrying him. It feels like a dream."

I was getting that pain in the middle of my forehead that only talking with Christie about her newlywed hubby Darryl, could bring. I had seen a lot of suspicious activity out of him when they were dating over the last two years, but never when Christie was around. He talked sweetly over the phone to a number of women. He flirted atrociously at parties (even though Christie claimed he would rather stay home). I even saw on his phone a whole hidden dating site that he was VERY active on. Very, very active on.

I had even refused to be her maid of honor because I just couldn't condone Darryl's actions. She insisted that I must be misconstruing everything.

Misconstruing my foot!

The man was a hoe, and he was now married to my absolutely clueless— or maybe delusional was a better word for it—best friend.

I hated this because I knew how much more it would hurt her when she DID find out.

I rubbed my head. "Bestie. You are way too good for him. I wish he could understand how rare you are and just how much you love him. Anyways, I'm at the exhibit. Have fun cooking that traditional Japanese dinner for your dude."

"Min, don't be like that. And take lots of pics for me, OK?"

She had really wanted to come too, but Darryl had been having a rough time at work—more like figuring out which side chick to hit up next—and so she wanted to cheer him up and cook him something from his ancestry.

Darryl was Japanese and loved traditional Japanese food.

We both loved ancient Japanese folklore. It's how she and Darryl met when we were all in college. He was in a club that put on different Japanese plays and storytelling nights. He had been in so many clubs and activities and taken on so many courses that everyone joked there had to be at least two of him to get it all done.

He had passed it off by explaining that he was the Eastern zodiac sign of the horse and they just naturally had a lot of energy and interests.

Christie and I had looked it all up and sure enough, he had been spot on.

I saw suspicious stuff out of Darryl here and there, but I didn't figure they'd actually stay together.

I forgot how hard Christie falls when she does.

I hung up and tried to get my mind off of everything by looking at all of the cool relics. The exhibit had come straight over from Japan. There were so many artifacts on display.

I was standing in front of an old lantern.

It was beautiful.

"Yeah, it's nice, but it looks better from this side."

I looked up to see a slender Asian girl in a very authentic-looking kimono—an absolutely gorgeous one—leaning against the glass case that displayed the nine-tailed lantern.

The little placard read that it was said to have a kitsune, a fox trickster spirit, a yokai, trapped inside it.

Hmm. Cool.

I looked at the girl, guessing she was dressed up for the event.

"Which artifact is your favorite?"

She shook her head. "Not really my thing. But if I had to pick, I'd say any one of them but this one."

She gave a long stretch and a long yawn, and I was sure I was hallucinating when I saw a pair of fluffy white fox ears pop out of her head.

Something swished past me.

I felt the air shift from it, and I looked down to see not one white fox tail but—

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9 tails in total.

What the hell?!

She looked at me. "What? It says the Nine-Tailed Lantern." She swished her tails—I realized they were tipped in red. She shrugged.

"You're... you... you're... a... a... kit—"

"Kitsune. Yes. Now about your best friend. I think I can help you guys out. I went through this with a friend of mine." She crossed her arms and brought her fist under her chin in thought.

"You... you're real? And you heard my phone call?"

She nodded. "Ummm hmm. It's what woke me up from my nap. Looks like I took a longer nap than I thought. Suki always said I would get caught napping one of these days. Looks like she was right!"

Her attitude was so bright and nonchalant I couldn't help my astonishment.

"So would you like my help?"

I knew there was probably a price, but I didn't care.

"Yes... what did you have in mind?"

She grinned wide. "Well, first let's go find your friend's cheating man... hmm. OK, maybe first I change clothes."

She looked me up and down and then motioned for me to turn in a circle. I did so. When I came to a stop, she wore a copy of my outfit but tailored in patterns of red and gold with white.

She brushed off her plaid miniskirt, clicked her heeled boots, and shook her leather jacket to help it fit more naturally.

She gave me a smile.

"Love this stuff! Come on, let's go."

She headed out, and I followed.

I knew Darryl had told Christie he would be at the office, but I also knew that he was actually out drinking with his coworkers because I had put a tracker on his phone when he wasn't looking.

It was two in the afternoon on a Thursday, so the streets weren't that busy, and we caught an Uber in record time.

On the way over to WaveH2O, the bar Darryl's phone put him at, I called Christie saying I was stuck there and needed her to come get me.

"Will this work?"

She nodded. "It always works. If your friend's man is a cheat, I will catch him. Make sure you are at peace with the consequences if he is and your friend finds out. Most friends don't take it well... mine didn't."

She looked out the window at the passing buildings, but it was clear that she was reliving something from her memories.

I cleared my throat.

"She has to know. She loves him so much... and he is perfect when he is with her."

She nodded and sighed a little sadly.

"They always are."

"What was your friend's name?"

She smiled. "Suki... well, Mitsuki. We had been best friends since we could remember. She grew up and fell in love with a perfect boy. The real perfect boy who actually loved her... she wasn't even aware of. She got married, and I revealed her husband as the cheater that he was, and she hated me for it. It was after a nasty fight between us that I took a nap in that lantern. Oh well, it's in the past. I will help you, Min, but be prepared for the consequences. You can have only good in your heart and still lose your friend."

She seemed so sad then.

It was my turn to nod.

"I had thought about that. I can handle it. She has to know. I can't just leave her in the dark, and he has done too much shifty stuff for it to all be coincidence. By the way... Mindy Caillis. What is your name?"

I extended my hand out for a handshake.

She looked at it like it was something strange.

"Tsukimi. Just call me Kimi. It's easier."

"Good to meet you, Kimi. And thank you."

We arrived at the bar shortly.

Exiting the Uber and heading in, we found Darryl yukking it up with his colleagues over pitchers of beer.

Odd—Darryl claimed he got sick at the smell of beer or ales.

He had a couple of pretty girls hanging on him. I snapped a couple pictures of them stealthily as we went by and got seated at a table.

It was technically a restaurant and bar, so I ordered some lunch, and Kimi had me order rice for her and some tea.

She made her way over to Darryl, and he stopped on a dime. His eyes were only for her.

Christie came in just a little bit after Kimi started in on Darryl. She found my table and plonked down.

"Damn, Min! You look like you have had a day. You ready to head out?"

I felt sadness build in my chest but swallowed it.

"I'm waiting on my food. I didn't know how long it would take you, so I ordered. I'm starving. You want a burger?"

She looked indecisive and then nodded.

"Actually, yeah. I've been so busy cooking and prepping it would be nice to take a break."

She put her bag down and ordered.

Then she whipped her head toward Darryl's party.

"Wait a minute... I just heard Darryl? He should be on his way home... they let him head home early because he will be in the office all of Saturday. But I just heard him..."

She spotted him.

I stayed quiet.

She saw him entangled passionately with Kimi. His hands were roaming all over her, and they were locked together.

The look on Christie's face went from shock to incredulousness to hurt to anger in a flash.

She was up and moving before I could take a breath.

Christie blazed through the place and up to Darryl.

"Hi sweetie."

Darryl barely registered her and just groaned against Kimi.

Christie pulled Kimi away from Darryl.

Only then did he open his eyes and really see her.

His face was shocked, and then the fear set in.

Rightly so.

Christie had a temper when provoked.

They stood there staring at each other.

Then she shook her head, grabbed one of the beer pitchers, and smashed it across his head in one swift motion.

It knocked Darryl to the ground.

Blood and beer were everywhere.

Kimi brushed herself off and wiped her mouth in disgust.

Then she gave Darryl the oddest look and murmured, "This isn't right."

Christie's phone started ringing from her bag.

It was Darryl's ringtone.

I pulled it out and sure enough—

So I answered.

"What's up, hoe?"

A brief pause.

"Min, where's Christie? She isn't home, and there is food in mid-prep here... have you heard from her? I'm really worried."

He sounded genuine.

Very worried.

I looked from the phone to Darryl on his ass with beer running all over him and Christie about to take off her wedding ring.

What the hell was going on?

"We are at WaveH2O... you better get your ass here and start explaining. Christie found your cheating ass out. Although, considering I'm looking at you by the bar... I'm not sure what's going on."

"What!! Oh no! Stay there. I'm coming NOW! I will try to explain."

He sounded panicked.

Kimi piped up, "Something is very wrong here." She kept staring at the beer-covered Darryl.

Christie pulled her ring off and made to toss it at the man in front of her. I grabbed her hands.

"Wait a minute. Darryl has been in front of us this whole time... how could he call?" I might not trust him, but this wasn't normal.

She tried to pull away. "Isn't it you who wanted us to break up? You even refused to be my maid of honor because you always thought he was a lech. Well guess what, you were right and he is, and now we are DONE! I can't believe I was this blind!" Her voice kept rising until it hit a sort of wail on the last word.

"I know, but this doesn't make any sense, Christie! I know you're hurting, but something is off... and besides, isn't Darryl pretty averse to beer? I'm all for you making him pay for tricking you, but can we at least see if another Darryl shows up? And if so, I want to see how he explains all of this. Please, Christie... at least let's find out everything."

She wanted to stay stubborn, but this coming from me made a dent in her emotional state, and she hesitated.

"God damn it, RIN!!!! You promised me!!"

We all turned, including beer-covered Darryl who looked terrified, to see Darryl storming towards us.

My jaw just dropped. I looked over to Christie and she looked angry and confused... but more angry.

Kimi arched her eyebrow and then gave Darryl—the one coming towards us—a strange look.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing? You want to ruin my life? Yeah, I might be cursed, but if this is the way you want to play it... then fine. I will divorce Christie and WE are going to the monastery! You want that, huh Rin? Do you want that? Mr. Player??? Good god!"

He lunged in and grabbed beer-covered Darryl off the floor, who looked like he was about to wet himself while trying to bring up his arms to shield himself from a very pissed-off Darryl, and shook him HARD.

"Alright, alright! Stop—hey, stop it! I said stop it! I said I was sorry, OK?"

Beer-covered Darryl was an exact replica of angry Darryl... down to the mole under his eye.

Kimi stepped forward then.

"Actually, no. You did NOT in fact say that you were sorry... DOG!"

She raised her hand and I saw long black claws emerge as she raked him across the face.

As the claws raised gashes on beer-Darryl's face, we all gasped and the image of a man in a suit started to melt away, leaving in its wake... a creature from Japanese legend.

"Tanuki!" Kimi spat in revulsion.

Christie and I chorused, "A Japanese raccoon dog?!"

She was in shock... so was I.

Darryl released the tanuki—Rin, presumably—and just sank onto a stool shaking his head.

"Chris... we need to talk. I didn't want this to come out... but..."

He flailed. I couldn't blame him. How the heck do you explain this?

Christie stared hard at Darryl, her mouth making a thin line.

I stepped in.

"Darryl, what the hell is going on?"

He sighed and began.

"Well, I'm cursed with this thing. It's followed my family for..."

"About 500 years, right?" Kimi chimed in with her arms crossed.

He looked perplexed and even scratched his head.

"Yeah... how'd you know?"

"You have an ancestor who was friends with a kitsune who wrecked her marriage to a cheating bastard?"

He nodded.

"Yeah! She is on my mom's side. Her friend outed her husband only to find out later that it was a tanuki shifter who he had offended. She went to look for her friend after everything... and never saw her again."

Kimi's eyes shone with tears.

"She looked for me. She wanted to make up... oh Suki, I'm sorry I fell asleep."

We all looked at her.

I cleared my throat.

"I should introduce Kimi. She is a kitsune. She actually came here with the traveling exhibit. She woke up when we were on the phone, Christie, and she offered to help me... because her friend went through something similar... oh my god!"

We all turned to the tanuki who had tried to slip off while we were distracted. Darryl grabbed him and hauled him back.

"Hey, OK! I was just going to the bathroom... geez!"

Kimi pinned him with a stare.

"TALK, DOG!"

The tanuki deflated and climbed onto a stool. He sighed and began.

"OK... the thing about you being cursed, kiddo... well that's not exactly right."

At Darryl's glare he continued.

"OK, OK! Good god, you have a temper! Look, technically I'm the one who is cursed. When Mitsuki found out that I had been impersonating that idiot, she beat me half to death and bound me to her family line as a protector. They still ended up separating—he was a lout anyway—but I was bound forever to her descendants to watch over them and pay her back for the damage that I had done. Chiefly for Mitsuki losing you, Kimi. So yeah... I'm the one who's cursed. Sorry, kid."

He shrugged and looked sheepish.

Kimi's face lit with recognition.

"Ren?!"

The tanuki waved a paw-like hand.

"Hi Kimi. You took a nap, didn't you?"

She shook her head.

"Yeah. You thought if you could make Suki see how much of a lout he was that she would see you. Oh Ren..."

She closed her eyes and hung her head.

He looked so heartbroken and sad.

"I just wanted her to actually see me. And he was all wrong for her, you know. So I'm bound to their descendants... ironic, huh?"

Kimi nodded and went over and gave him a hug, which he heartily returned.

We all watched speechless.

"Christie, I'm sorry. I was just having some fun. Darryl has been absolutely faithful to you. He really truly does love you. Please don't leave him. The only way I can look human is to borrow Darryl's form with this."

He held up a talisman laced with Darryl's hair. He then handed it to Darryl.

"No more funny business. I truly didn't mean to make this bad for you. And I really am sorry."

He looked guilty.

Darryl looked at the talisman and slipped it into his pocket, then looked at Christie with questions in his eyes.

She slid her ring back on her finger and nodded.

"You still need to tell me everything when we get home. And you are doing dinner for a really long time."

Darryl nodded and smiled, clearly relieved.

"I can live with that. Come on, let's go home. This is gonna take a bit."

He held his hand out to her and she took it. She looked back at me and I shook my head.

"Fill me in later. I am gonna have lunch and let the shock wear off. But definitely fill me in!"

She smiled and waved as they left.

Kimi eyed me.

"You're a good friend."

I smiled.

"Lunch?"

She looked at Ren and shook her head.

"I need to catch up with him. It's been a few centuries. But I will take a rain check if that's OK with you."

I nodded.

"Absolutely."

Ren piped up.

"And I can show you some really cool stuff... the world has changed so much, Kimi. You are really gonna love it!"

He looked so excited. He was kinda like a mischievous kid. It was fun.

Kimi nodded.

"Then let's go! I want to see this world!"

And they set off together.

What a pair.

I went back to my table and sipped my coffee, just staring out the restaurant window and watching everyone go by...

contemplating this magical day.