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Kevin’s Wedding

for Lana’s Fucked-up Wedding Toast unofficial challenge

By Harper LewisPublished about 11 hours ago Updated about 10 hours ago 1 min read
Curated Lifestyle on unsplash

As you all know, Kevin and I were roommates at Duke, then for a few years after graduation, until he and Sloane moved in together. I remember Sloane’s friends cautioning her against moving in without a ring, that she’d never get one if she shacked up without one, but I knew that for Kevin, moving in with Sloane would lead us here.

How did I know this? It’s pretty simple. Kevin’s student loan balance is enormous—no one will extend credit to him. Sloane, of course has no debt, quite the opposite, didn’t even notice that Kevin bought the ring on her debit card. That said, I know this union will last forever, or until Kevin’s credit score breaks 700, and if you know Kevin like I do, you know that means til death do they part.

Congratulations, Kevin and Sloane! Maybe Sloane should have requested a prenup.

Humor

About the Creator

Harper Lewis

I'm a weirdo nerd who’s extremely subversive. I like rocks, incense, and witchy stuff. Intrusive rhyme bothers me. Some of my fiction might have provoked divorce proceedings in another state.😈

MA English literature, College of Charleston

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

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Comments (4)

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  • Tiffany Gordon2 minutes ago

    Fabulous work Harper! Very witty! ☺️

  • Lana V Lynxabout 9 hours ago

    Ha! Marriage for money alert! Kevin is a kept man, a jigolo.

  • Mariann Carrollabout 10 hours ago

    Accumulate debt from marriage, hope the have a plan? ☺️

  • Kendall Defoe about 11 hours ago

    Aha! You did it! 💍

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