Kevin’s Wedding
for Lana’s Fucked-up Wedding Toast unofficial challenge

As you all know, Kevin and I were roommates at Duke, then for a few years after graduation, until he and Sloane moved in together. I remember Sloane’s friends cautioning her against moving in without a ring, that she’d never get one if she shacked up without one, but I knew that for Kevin, moving in with Sloane would lead us here.
How did I know this? It’s pretty simple. Kevin’s student loan balance is enormous—no one will extend credit to him. Sloane, of course has no debt, quite the opposite, didn’t even notice that Kevin bought the ring on her debit card. That said, I know this union will last forever, or until Kevin’s credit score breaks 700, and if you know Kevin like I do, you know that means til death do they part.
Congratulations, Kevin and Sloane! Maybe Sloane should have requested a prenup.
About the Creator
Harper Lewis
I'm a weirdo nerd who’s extremely subversive. I like rocks, incense, and witchy stuff. Intrusive rhyme bothers me. Some of my fiction might have provoked divorce proceedings in another state.😈
MA English literature, College of Charleston
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters


Comments (4)
Fabulous work Harper! Very witty! ☺️
Ha! Marriage for money alert! Kevin is a kept man, a jigolo.
Accumulate debt from marriage, hope the have a plan? ☺️
Aha! You did it! 💍