Kayla
She herself is just fictional but to me my queer visions
I was 12 when I first saw myself truly represented in media, though I didn’t realize at the time just how significant that moment would be. It happened
one evening while I was browsing online, searching for something new to read. I had always loved graphic novels, but this one felt different from the
start. I stumbled across a small indie series, something not widely known
but highly praised in the quiet corners of the internet where I spent most of my time. The character that stood out to me was named Kayla.
She wasn’t the type of girl you’d find front and center in most stories. She wasn’t the popular one, the bold or brash heroine everyone cheered for.
Instead, she was quiet and introspective, often lingering in the background, lost in her thoughts or sketching in her notebook. Kayla didn’t need to be
loud to be interesting, and that’s what first drew me to her. There was something familiar about her, though I couldn’t put my finger on it at the
time. It was as though she was reflecting something about me that I hadn’t yet come to terms with.
In the graphic novel, Kayla wasn’t just a side character, though she could have been easily overlooked by someone who wasn’t paying attention. But
for me, she was magnetic. She was different from every other girl I’d seen in stories, not just because of her quiet nature, but because of how her
story unfolded. It wasn’t about chasing the affections of the popular boy or fitting in with the right group of friends. Kayla had her own world, one that
revolved around her art, her thoughts, and—most importantly—her connection with another girl.
The relationship between Kayla and this other girl was subtle. It wasn’t grand or overt like the romances in other stories. There were no dramatic
confessions, no sweeping gestures. Instead, it was in the quiet glances they shared, the unspoken understanding between them, the way Kayla’s heart
beat faster whenever the girl was near. I remember the moment I realized that what Kayla felt wasn’t just admiration or friendship. It was something
deeper, something I had never really seen before in any of the books or shows I’d been consuming.
At 12, I didn’t have the language to understand what that feeling was, but I knew it was important. I knew it mattered. Kayla’s quiet longing, her
hesitation, her fear of what it might mean—it all resonated with me in a way that felt both exciting and terrifying. For the first time, I was seeing a
version of love that didn’t fit the mold I’d been taught. It wasn’t a boy and a girl. It wasn’t something straightforward or expected. It was something else
entirely, something that felt much closer to home.
Up until that point, I had always felt a little out of place, like I wasn’t quite following the same script as everyone else. My friends were starting to talk
about boys, about crushes and who they thought was cute. I would listen, nodding along, but I didn’t feel the same excitement they did. I couldn’t
understand why the boys they gushed over didn’t spark anything in me. I thought maybe I was just a late bloomer, that the feelings everyone else
had would come eventually. But deep down, I knew something was different.
When I saw Kayla’s story, everything shifted. I didn’t fully understand it yet, but it planted a seed in me. For the first time, I realized that the quiet
feelings I had, the way I sometimes found myself drawn to other girls in a way that didn’t quite feel like friendship—those feelings weren’t strange or
wrong. They were just... different from what I had been told was “normal.” And seeing Kayla, someone who was also quietly navigating those same
feelings, made me feel a little less alone.
As I read more of the graphic novel, I found myself becoming more and more attached to Kayla. Her relationship with the other girl was never fully
defined, but that didn’t matter. It was the possibility, the quiet, unspoken connection between them that stuck with me. It was the way Kayla was able
to be herself in her own quiet way, without needing to explain or justify her feelings. Seeing that kind of representation—so subtle and yet so powerful
—opened a door inside of me.
At the time, I didn’t immediately come out to myself or anyone else. I didn’t suddenly have a grand realization about my identity. But the seed
had been planted, and it started to grow. I began to notice that the way I looked at other girls wasn’t just about admiration or friendship. There was
something more there, something I had been too afraid to explore. Seeing Kayla’s story gave me the permission I didn’t know I needed to start
considering that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t straight.
As I got older, I kept coming back to that moment. It was the first time I saw a version of myself reflected in media, even if I hadn’t fully understood
it at the time. The way Kayla navigated her feelings—tentative, quiet, unsure—mirrored how I felt about my own. I wasn’t ready to shout it from
the rooftops or even fully admit it to myself, but it was there, waiting for me to acknowledge it. And eventually, I did.
Over the next few years, I started to explore my feelings more deeply. I started to understand that the reason I hadn’t been interested in boys
wasn’t because I was a late bloomer—it was because I was lesbian. Kayla’s story had given me a framework, a quiet kind of validation that I didn’t
need to fit into the same mold as everyone else. I didn’t need to follow the same script. I could write my own story, even if it was different from what
I’d always been told was “normal.”
That moment of seeing Kayla represented in media gave me a sense of belonging that I hadn’t realized I was missing. It showed me that there was
space for girls like me, girls who loved other girls, even if it wasn’t always in the forefront of every story. It made me feel like my feelings were real,
valid, and worth exploring. And as I grew into my identity, that sense of belonging only deepened.
I began to seek out other stories with queer characters, finding pieces of myself in each one. But none of them felt quite as significant as that first
moment with Kayla. She had been the key, the first glimpse of a world where I didn’t have to hide or pretend. She had shown me that it was okay
to feel the way I did, even if it was scary at first. And that realization gave me the courage to start embracing who I really was.
Looking back, I realize just how important that representation was. It wasn’t just about seeing a character who shared my feelings—it was about
feeling seen for the first time. It was about understanding that my identity wasn’t something to be ashamed of or hidden away. It was part of who I
was, and it was something worth celebrating, even if it took time to fully come to terms with it.
Kayla may have been a fictional character in a small graphic novel, but she changed the course of my life. She helped me understand who I was, and in
doing so, she gave me the confidence to be that person—fully and unapologetically. That quiet moment of representation gave me the
strength to explore my identity, and in the process, it helped me find my place in a world that finally felt like it had room for me.
About the Creator
Vickys Secrets
I’m a 14 year old girl who loves writing creative and likes to put myself in different scenarios, and I’m writing about them to manifest them and never forget them



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