Journey to the Sun...at Night!

My first intentional "work," a script. It was a real production, my radio play, inspired by the Firesign Theatre. It parodied the 1950s SciFi space adventure B-movies, and in homage to them, included:

• The professor, Matthew Thompson, Ph.D., Registered Republican
• His dashing, young protegé, the exciting Steve Fleming
• Mario, the laboratory stockroom boy and comic relief
• Mark, his half-wit, witty half-brother
• The bad guy, Rodney Shapiro — greedy beyond belief
• Doris Thompson, the professor's lovely daughter, Steve's love interest, and (by convention) mission stowaway
• Dinah Shore, as the dinosaur, and introducing...
• The Sun King, as himself

This recording, admittedly, is a bit dated (translated, offensive), now approaching its 50th year anniversary (in 2027). It took a year of Sundays to record, in 1977. Listen on Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/drdileo/journey-to-the-sun-at-night-2019-re-mix/

SYNOPSIS (Caution: Spoilers!)

Professor Matt Thompson discovers unusual esoteric, cataclysmic solar erogenences on the Sun. He discusses the problem with his dashing protogé, the exciting Steve Fleming, over a broccoli soup dinner. In attendance are Matt; Steve; Steve's lab stockroom boy, Mario Fettucine and his half-wit brother, Mark; and Doris, Matt's "available" daughter.

They construct their spaceship — the Icarus — hurriedly, fins included, without the help of the lecherous Rodney Shapiro — greedy beyond belief and who has designs (and anything else) on Doris.

"Matt, what about the heat problem?" Steve queries the professor.

"Go at night!" offers Mark, in a rare show of sentience since that lab accident that forced Matt to pith him.

And they're off!

En route they, of course, must weather the traditional meteor storm. But the hazardous trip is not without its perks:

"Oh, look out of the window — how beautiful — you can see those rings of Saturn we've heard so much about!" exclaims Doris the hopeless romantic, who, as it turns out, has stowed away.

"We'll have enough trouble on this mission without having women on board," cautions Steve.

Meanwhile, the lecherous Rodney Shapiro has eyes — and anything else — on Doris.

They land on the Sun, but the ship is air-conditioned.

They begin their exploration when they are discovered by Kumquat and Poptart, two local sycophants to the Sun King himself. Meanwhile, Rodney discovers that the caves they've entered are filled with bags of diamonds — obviously natural resources on the Sun.

The Sun King laments that the Earth people have been experimenting with what they know not of, i.e., nuclear weapons, and he warns the crew that it makes him cry, putting out the fire in his eyes, engendering the esoteric, cataclysmic solar erogenences, thereby dimming the Sun. Matt and Steve, being men of science, realize how serious this is and feel they must warn the world leaders to stop creating such weapons. Surely they will listen to reason.

In the meantime, both Mark and Mario are attacked and eaten by the dinosaur on the Sun, who sounds remarkably like Dinah Shore. Rodney, in his quintessential greed beyond belief, refuses to drop just one bag of diamonds while trying to clear the chasm, falling to his death.

Matt, unfortunately, contracts the dreaded Kung Flu., over 40 years before the dreaded Donald Trump infamizes the term, although no less offensive. (Dated material, remember?)

This leaves Steve and Doris to pilot "the Icarus" back to Earth, where thy inadvertently crash land into the Astrodome, where a bullfight is taking place.

Steve, in front of the entire Astrodome, asks Doris, "Will you marry me?"

"Oh, yes, Steve," Doris coos. "When?"

"As soon as we can get the world leaders to agree to get rid of their nuclear weapons...as soon as there is world peace...as soon as it is safe to raise our children...and marry you."

"Oh, Steve," Doris cries in his arms.

Closing credits to Shostakovich's Cello Concerto #1 in E-flat major, opus #107, Allegretto:

https://open.spotify.com/track/6BPk5ItiQsvTAlIOKhBMPc?si=e3eab7f4a342447b