Invidia

"Deal."

My heart clenches. I clap a hand over my mouth. Tears sting in my eyes. I don't know whether I'm crying from gladness or grief. I will be able to spend my life with another woman. With the court's blessing.

Except they are going to kill the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

An envelope and my mother's camera rests in my lap as I sit at the foot of my bed. I flip through the photos until I find the one I took in the courtyard. The one under the willow. My hair clip is cast aside. Eyfira and Hytur are kissing passionately.

I promised her I'd never tell the Empress. But that promise is no good if she's in a tomb. Bile prickles my tongue.

I read the hands of the grand clock above the back wall. The eleventh hour of the night.

The way I see it, I have two choices. Either I break my promise to Eyfira or I don't. They're not complicated. Doesn't make it any less difficult.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

If I tell the Empress that Eyfira is sleeping with Hytur behind Khaides' back, the marriage will be nullified, the feast will be canceled, and Eyfira won't be poisoned. However, the laws against homosexuality in Seosha won't be altered. Thousands of people will live the rest of their lives in fear of humiliation and disownment. At least my family accepts me. There are others just like me who don't even have that. Furthermore, there will be nothing to stop Khaides from invading Seosha. All our men will be slain, all our women will be defiled, and all of our children will be burnt on a pyre.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

If I don't tell the Empress, then Hytur will, the feast proceeds, my family poisons Eyfira, and the Magistrate takes the throne. Even then, there's no guarantee that he'll even uphold his end of the bargain.

Either way, the law will not change and Khaides' wrath is upon the kingdom.

However, if I do tell the Empress, at least Eyfira will live, and Seosha may have the slightest sliver of a fighting chance against the Thronekiller.

The clock strikes midnight. I put the camera into my pocket and pick myself up off the floor. I strap on my right boot, slip on my gloves, and button up my coat. I clutch the camera and the keys to my chariot close to my body. My stomach pangs as I creep past my cousin's bedroom. Then my parents' chamber. I tiptoe down the hallway and through the living room, stiffening every time one of the floorboards creaks and squeaks under my soles. My mouth dries when I finally reach the front door, carefully turning the knob, pushing open a gap just wide enough for me to slip through. I lock it behind me.

I move as quickly as I can with my clubbed foot. My cane thuds against the cobblestone as I hobble to my vehicle. I clamber into the carriage and fire up the engines. A spark of fire. A puff of smoke from my robotic horses' nostrils. Then I pull the reins to the right and they shoot onto the road.

I slam the brakes as soon as I reach the drawbridge. A hazy red glow from the torches on the turrets illuminates my path with a fiery red. Two embers glint through the darkness from the stone towers of the palace. The knights have lit their arrows. And they're aiming at me. I can sense two more advancing on me from my right and left. My mouth dries.

"Halt! State your name and purpose!"

"Lady Raiju Medane!" I shout back. "I request an immediate audience with the Empress and the visiting king of Eilhun. It's urgent."

"At this late of an hour?" one of the knights hollers. "Is this urgency or insanity?" The last of my patience snaps. I take out my camera and flip to the last photo. Then I hold it up to the knight beside me.

"The princess is having an affair and this is the evidence!" I holler. "Is that urgent enough for you?" There is a long, grave silence. Then the knight next to me signals the others to lower their arrows. Then the two embers disappear. A massive shadow stretches over me. The ground rumbles as the drawbridge lowers.

I am not a fool. I know Eyfira will never forgive me for this. She may even hate me. But I cannot let her die. My cane echoes on the marble floor as the knights escort me down the corridor of paintings. A meadow from the past. A ghostly white panther. Reminders of the promise I'm going to break. The friendship I will ruin. My gut twists as the throne room grows closer and closer.

The Queensguard leaps out in front of me and unsheathes her longsword. Before she can even pose a question, the knight to my right marches up to her and mutters something under their breath. Tahn's brow furrows. I grimly hand the camera to her. Her breath hitches. Her voice is ragged as she steps aside.

"You may enter."

I make my way towards the golden stairs leading up the Empress' throne. My knees are weak. My heart pounds against my ribs, threatening to tear out of my chest at any moment. I fall to my knees and lower my head, averting my gaze as the curtains are unveiled.

"Lady Medane?" the Empress asks.

"I ordered that this meeting have no interruptions," Khaides Ilrex bites out. "What is the meaning of this?" The floor trembles from his footsteps as he storms toward me. The knights flinch at his voice. I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Queensguard, what is the meaning of this?" the Empress demands.

"Great Monarch," I begin. "The princess -"

"Guard your tongue, Lady Medane, lest I cut it out," he begins. "You dare intrude -" I lift up the camera. His sentence trails off and he locks his scarlet irises on the photo.

"My apologies, King Ilrex," I whisper. He rips the camera out of my hands and smashes it to the floor. His breathing is ragged. He staggers back. I hesitantly meet his eyes. They still contain that blazing, inhuman power, but it has dimmed with pain. He cranes his neck, facing the Empress.

"I trusted her."

"Khaides," the Empress says, her voice shaking. "If my daughter can find it within herself to forgive you of all your bloodshed, surely you can find it within yourself to forgive her of this."

"I trusted her," he whispers hoarsely. He's staring numbly at the ring on his finger. Then he slides it off. It clatters down the golden stairs and lands in front of me. His gaze hardens, his two pupils splitting into four.

"I had no more knowledge of this than you did, Thronekiller," the Empress adds desperately. "My daughter and the Magistrate will be disciplined with the utmost of severity to ensure this doesn't happen again." My stomach turns at that.

"You won't have to concern yourself with that, Empress," he seethes, his teeth bared, no longer in agony, but in a cruel, twisted smile. "I already have a punishment in mind." The Empress' face is still hidden behind the veil, but I can imagine the horror on it all too clearly as the revelation hits her. Then she does something that no ruler in the history of our kingdom has ever done.

The Empress, our Monarch, our benevolent goddess, whose very visage is so divine that no mortal can lay their eyes on it, rips the curtains apart and throws herself to Khaides' feet. She bows, her forehead against the ground. And as her daughter first did on the day of the summit, she begs.

"I'm sorry my daughter has dishonored you."

"You have four months," Khaides continues icily.

"I'm sorry if you refuse to negotiate with her because of what she's said, but I implore you, do not make my subjects pay for her transgression."

"Four months and then Seosha falls," Khaides hisses, not even sparing her a look as he kicks her off him, "you can tell your daughter that they died because of her selfishness, not my barbarity." Then he walks past me, shoulders through the Queensguard and her knights, and strides out of the throne room.

The Empress stays on the ground, shivering, paralyzed. The Queensguard drops to her side. She guides her back to her throne and pulls the veil over her.

"Pardon me for soiling you with my touch, great Monarch," Tahn murmurs, dutifully returning to her post. The Empress cannot speak for a while. Then finally, she gives the knights her order.

"Summon the Magistrate to the throne room."

"Should I leave, Empress?" I pipe up timidly, my throat feeling like sandpaper.

"No, you will remain here," she says.

The knight's armored feet clank as they make their way back up the staircase. The curtains part. A lean figure is thrown at the Empress' feet next to me, his hands chained behind his back. The Monarch stands up from her throne. She picks the camera off the floor. She glides past me to look down on him.

"Hytur Osson," she says through clenched teeth, holding the picture under his nose. His body stiffens. "Given your history in court, I should've known better than to even let you near my heir."

His face is calm. He knows there's no denying his crimes. However, he will not be the only one stripped of his title. He will drag my family into this as well.

"Yes, for a goddess that's reigned over this land for several thousand years, you are awfully naive," he jeers. "But before you deal out whatever punishment you've determined for me, wouldn't you like to know who hired me to seduce your daughter in the first place?" The Empress' breath hitches.

"Who?"

Hytur's eyes flash smugly as they dart to me. "The Medane Family, of course." The Empress' robes rustle as she turns to me.

"Raiju, were you aware of this?" Hytur's grin widens as he waits for the confusion and helplessness to show on my face.

It doesn't. The corner of my mouth twitches. He really thinks he's checkmated me, even though he's just moved his last pawn, and I have the perfect piece to take him out.

"Yes, my mother and father told me, but contrary to what the Magistrate told you, we didn't pay him to seduce Eyfira," I reach into the pocket of my vest and take out an envelope, "rather, he paid us to keep quiet about the affair." I unfold the forged letter inside and pass it to Tahn. I don't have to replicate his handwriting, because Eyfira told me that he uses a typewriter. Hytur's grin fades away instantly.

"I didn't - I never wrote that -"

"Who do you choose to believe, Empress?" I say sharply. "The woman who has been your heir's most faithful friend since childhood, or a turncoat infamous for his lying and conniving?" The Empress whirls around. Her scepter is a blur as it flies down and strikes Hytur across the jaw. He slumps to the ground, dazed from the pain.

"Hytur Osson, for your crimes against the Circlet, I hereby exile you to the colony of Yaesia," she declares. "Should you dare to return, you will be burnt at the stake."

Hytur's lips part, the words spewing out incoherently as he futilely attempts to talk his way out of the situation. Maybe it's worked for him the court before, but not this time. He thrashes desperately against the knights, the soles of his shoes squeaking against the tile as they carry him out of the throne room.

"What of the princess?" the Queensguard asks.

"I will ensure that she makes penance before the entire nation," the Empress says coldly. My brow furrows.

"Monarch, if I may -"

"You may leave us now, Lady Medane."

"But how severe will her punishment be? She's your daughter, after all," I press. The Monarch does not answer me. My tone sharpens. "How severe will her punishment be?"

"The Empress has ordered you to leave," the Queensguard growls at me. Several knights surround me and push me back toward the curtains.

"Don't hurt her, your Majesty," I yell as they escort me out. "Whatever you do, please don't hurt her!"

Aijon shakes me awake in the morning.

"Raiju, Raiju, get up!"

I'm too exhausted to open my eyes. My bones feel like lead as I roll out of bed. I groggily fumble around for my cane. Aijon throws a suitcase at me. It lands right on my gut, knocking the breath out of me.

"What's going on?"

"You won't believe what happened," he rattles off. "The princess had an affair with the Magistrate. The marriage is nullified. Khaides Ilrex will conquer Seosha in four months. We can't stay here or we'll be slaughtered." My chest tightens.

"What happened to Eyfira?" I rasp.

"The Empress lashed her ten times this morning in front of the entire kingdom. Then she made her beg for forgiveness in front of all the subjects." My throat becomes parched. My eyes sting.

My friend since childhood. My friend, who trusted me with her secret. Lashed. Lashed by her own mother. Ten times. I can picture it all too clearly. The blood trickling from the stripes on her back. The tears trickling down her face. No wonder she begged me not to tell the Monarch. But I did. I begged the Empress not to hurt her, but a goddess won't follow the request of a mere lady.

"Pack your bags," Aijon says pointedly.

"Where?" I ask softly.

"The colony of Hainal," he says impatiently. "Auntie and Uncle are already waiting in the chariot outside." He runs back down the stairs.

We're moving. My vision blurs as I gather and fold my clothes, my movements labored as I place them into my valise. The menagerie with the ghostly panther. The meadow where we had a picnic. The forest where we played hide and seek. Where I always found her under the willow. I'll never see them again.

My cane clicks as I hobble past the living room, out of the house, and past the fence of the Medane estate. Down the cobblestone to the chariot and smoke-spewing horses sitting at the other end.

I'll never see her again. The princess. My princess, who I sold out to defend her from certain death. But at how terrible a cost. With whom I forged a bond that lasted for eleven years. A bond I broke with a few words and one little picture.

I wonder if she'll get rid of it. The Jaelyra board. The older one we played with when we were just two young girls in a simpler world. The little wooden pieces. She could never beat me, but that wasn't what made me glad. It was her radiant smile. Her laugh, as melodic and vibrant as the songbirds in the courtyard themselves.

As the chariot pulls away and the sun rises, the silhouette of the palace grows smaller and smaller on the horizon, until it fades into nothing.

I can imagine it so vividly. Eyfira twirling around for me to see. The moonlight breaking through the curtains of the palace. Her royal gown, the deep purple of the night. Her glittering eyes. Her dark auburn hair, clipped with the sparkling diamond ornament I bought her. She looks back at me, the corners of her full lips curling up ever so slightly.

She always caught me when I fell. She always told me that nothing could keep us from being together. Even when the Thronekiller had her hand, I had her heart. And even though the Magistrate also gave her company, all it did was remind her of me. She may have not loved me in the way I loved her, but it was love nonetheless.

She will be grateful that she never had to say goodbye to the girl who ruined her life. I will rue that I never got to make amends.

Her heart hardens with hatred.

Mine will always bleed.

I envy her for that.