Invictus

We watched Earth burn like it was just another sunny day.

There’s no way to describe it. Your eyes see fire but your mind, your guts, they cripple with rage. The anger swells deep inside you, waves and waves of it, tsunamis in a lost mind. A hot mind. Thoughts race like comets, colliding, exploding, storms more destructive than you could ever, ever imagine.

And you just stand there. You stand and you watch and your mind doesn’t quite get it. Not yet. Not now, anyways.

It’ll hit you though. All at once. Sneak up on you, like a good space pirate does. Some juncture, some wayward thought, interrupted suddenly with all the death, all the lives you’ve taken. All the spirits you’ve killed.

And for what?

It had to be done, give me a break.

No one’s forced to do anything. Choices are all we got. Anyone who tells you otherwise has done some shit they’d rather not admit to, that’s all.

The simple truth is that -

***

We’re flying for the Belt. Easy 11 day journey. We’re hot, we got cargo, we got a crew but most of all, guess what?

Guess what we got.

We got nothing to live for anymore.

You ever felt that way? With nothing to live for? It’s fucking fantastic. You had people practically killing themselves to find a purpose and here I am, a liberated man, ready to die cos I have nothing to live for and I feel fucking great.

The secret isn’t purpose. There is no secret. You wake up, drink your chocolate milk and just enjoy it. You hear that? Just enjoy the damn milk. That’s your purpose.

***

The sun burns at 5600 degrees celsius. You know how hot that is kid? Hotter than whatever girlfriend you had back home, that’s for sure. The sun’s your only mistress now. Out here. Get used to it. She’s always watching.

Our core reactor burns at 100 million degrees celsius. That kinda fusion means we travel at about 100,000,000km/h. Fastest ship in the system. The Slug, they call us. Guess humour transcends planets huh? This ship used to be called The Vanguard or some other imperial bullshit, but what’s the first rule of being a space pirate?

Haha, no not that, but that’s a good one.

Reclaim and name. You’re only as good as your name. You’re on board Invictus now. Makes you feel powerful huh? Invictus. What a load of -

Hey?

Grinkel, prepare stealth mode and let’s go dark for the next eighty thousand clicks. The debris here may not be… dead.

What?

If I tell you where we’re going, you won’t want to know.

****

What do you see when you shut your eyes?

Bullshit. That’s a text book response. Tell me what you really see.

That’s better. What else?

That too huh?

Jeez kid, you sure you’re not Pirate born? That doesn’t sound like any Earth born vision to me.

Ah shit, thats too bad. That's just too bad.

I had friends on Earth too.

If I told you what I see, you’d never go to sleep.

Listen kid, we’re in for a bit of a ride so -

What?

What did you say?

***

Looks like when you start rolling with space pirates, there’s no choice about what you start seeing when you close your eyes.

Mel over there sees silk. No shit. Pure silk, she says. You ever touched silk, kid?

We’ll get you some of that good stuff. You need worms for it. No soil in space, so no worms. No silk. But Mel sees some of the finest shit out there.

I can’t tell you too much about that.

Nope, not about that either.

Why you wanna know anyways?

***

When you ate pineapple, did it make your mouth feel fuzzy?

No, not funny. Fuzzy. Like uh, like sandpaper?

I didn’t much like it either. Now it’s the thing I miss most about home. That damn fuzzy feeling. The sweet pineapple, juicy, tangy. Zest filling your nostrils like a holy cleanse and that fucking fuzzy feeling. What I wouldn’t give to be able to taste real pineapple again.

We saved seeds yeah, but what did I tell you about soil out here kid? What did I fucking tell you?

We got the artificial shit but, what?

Nah, it’s not the same.

I said it’s not the same.

Can you just -

Just shut up, please, for one second.

Mel, can I get a course update?

Copy that.

What are you hiding from? No I mean, right now, here. What are you hiding from?

Forget about that. Forget about them too. You’re with us now, yeh?

If we hadn’t picked you up -

Listen, it’s gone.

Can you understand that?

***

Mel, engage thrusters. Set course for Vesta.

I wanna show - what’s your name by the way?

Jesse.

I wanna show Jesse here some space art.

Might as well show you some real shit. When we get to the belt, nothing but asteroids and mining ships. Gotta have a little fun before that right? Mining nickel and hydrogen’s no fun kid. No fun. That’s why we’re pirates, not miners. See what I’m saying?

We’re gonna go for a cruise in The Museum. She’s really more like a - well. See for yourself. Keep your arms and legs inside the cabin at all times yeah, and don’t look at anything if it looks at you.

You won’t, they’re all dead, but just in case.

***

Just in case, we tell ourselves, just in case. In case of what, you morons? Haven’t we covered this? Stop looking. Stop planning. Stop packing things “just in case”. The idea that you outwitted the universe in any capacity whatsoever by packing an extra toothbrush “just in case” is delinquent. Do you hear yourself? Honestly, do you? Extra toothbrush. 


Please.

***

That’s no way to treat a lady. You gotta be gentle. See, here, let me show you.

Huh? See that? She likes smooth, steady. Easy pace, easy turns. Try it.

There you go.

No, wait no.

That’s it.

There you go.

This next turn, just a slight -

You’ll get it next time.

***

The structures are creepy. They ooze and bleed and wail with a scream you cant hear. They’re begging for mercy, in this case, mercy being death, but she never comes. A swift touch to say goodnight, she haunts their silence, a temptress of the night.

Death flirts with everyone, every day, until she finally gets bored.

How many time has she blue balled you?

I’ve cruised around The Museum so many times, and every time I forget how beautiful it is. And every time, I remember why I want to leave as soon as I get here.

It stinks of death. Of cold, miserable, wet, metallic death.

Some death is warm. Some full of rage and fire and revenge and - well just look at Earth. That’s a hot death.

The death here?

Shit I wouldn’t want this.

***

When you’ve had enough, you know. Your hands go in your pockets, you look for exits. The body knows way before the mind it’s time to leave. Your feet start pointing away, your breath inhales in offbeats, audible, ready to spike oxygen into your blood stream, fire up those muscles, get out.

We’re almost done.

This will be the final thing you see, before you kill someone. Make it last. The last thing I saw before my first kill was a seagull. It was windy that day. I was on the sand, it was overcast. Not raining. Just clouds. Apathetic clouds, the worst kind. The absolute worst. When it’s grey and daunting but there’s no sweet release. The promise of rain never comes. The clouds hang in the air with the dread and apathy of a priest. I shot him. It had to be done. It was a choice. The seagull flew as the gunshot rang. Didn’t squawk. Too scared. I can still taste the sea.

Remember this place kid. It’s the last thing you’ll see before you kill someone.

***

Yeah, I’m a bit rusty. What's it to you?

You try being in space for almost a decade, with no real gravity. Just this artificial stuff we pump through our ship. No planet, no exile from this floating nightmare.

I can’t make out what’s getting to you. I mean, this kid should be happy we found him. He should be happy he was out in orbit. The day we destroyed the earth. He should thank us for saving him, at least. Am I wrong?

Let me tell you something. Your parents are not the perfect little pair you think they are. No one's parents are. The truth is, they’re just as lost as you. Their insides crawl with dread, the wet stones of cold anxiety, and a nostalgia for the past they wish they could relive, again and again.

But there is a light to it all. They’re gone. Be thankful, at least for that.

***

All we got left are these rocks. These fucking asteroids in the belt. No planet, no people, just these cold, frozen rocks.

You people make me sick.

They’re mining water now. And, -

Hey but hey, no listen, kid.

Listen.

Like I said, it’s not so bad.

Just will you listen?

We got ships. Yeah.

Big ones.

They’re just as cosy as a big house. No backyard but you can go play in space if you want.

We couldn’t save our own world, so now we’re borrowing someone else’s.

Tell me.

Are you the next Mozart?

Our leaders, our great “space colonists” were so obsessed with bringing the best scientist, they forgot about what really matters. Biology and chemistry don’t work if there's nothing to enjoy, you understand?

You understand, don’t you?

What's the point kid, in making life, when it’s pure strategy? When there’s no music to enjoy, yeah?

You only get so far.

No war was won on strategy,

It's won by people who enjoy fighting. It's not the strategy that kills the enemy. It's the joy of winning. Of killing, that ends a war.

Don’t believe me?

Don’t, I don’t blame ya.

Hold on to your hopes. Thats all you got left. But sooner or later, they’ll be crushed. Like your parents back on earth,

Aw jeez kid, I’m sorry.

I know.

The asteroid we hit them with, well… we made sure it was big enough for a fast extinction. I’m sure they died peacefully.

You’re right.

Fast?

Trust me, way worse ways to die than that. I’ve seen a man’s - wait.

Wait.

Did you hear that?

Get down kid, we got hot objects. Incoming fast. Find some cover and hold on.

Mel, update?

The leak is coming from where?

Where?

That sector is full of O2, we need to get that patched ASAP.

No Stax, stay. Stax I said stay, I’ll go.

I know, I’m the captain and that’s why I’m going for fuck’s sake.

How big’s the hole?

Come again?

Copy that.

Hey kid. You still have that heart-shaped locket your parents gave you?