Intravenous

Murder 8 and Horse at the same time. Can you believe it? I play Russian roulette inside my veins. I've wanted to get out. The feeling is disastrous when I feel like one more gram would kill me. I've tried to stop, not consume. But I don't spill. My body is asking for it. The adrenaline. It begs me for more. And if it doesn't beg me, I get filled with anguish and I see again the two- and three-headed animals that look like toads mixed with mental cockroaches... and the fluids outside my body and the pain for everything I know. And the crazy whispers.

A few hours ago I couldn't take it anymore. I found a small piece of aluminum foil. But that's what I'm telling you: Murder 8 mixed with Horse. It's a feint.

The light doesn't let me see.

Did I already tell you that if there are two grams of Murder 8 in that mixture I would die of an overdose? It is like love: it takes you to the heights, but it's lethal if you try a little too much.

My pulse shakes with the old anxiety. I don't know how to separate the two elements. I don't see much in this alley either. Night came in and didn't ask permission. The street lamps were stolen in the afternoon. Maybe.

I'm not a chemist, I don't have a portable laboratory to separate the paths. If there is a magnifying glass, it beats in my brain and amplifies that desire to have the comfort of dopamine inside me again.

I don't know how the hell my body got stronger. At first it was a few doses, but my machine knew how to degrade it and endured it with temperance. And it wants more. And I have to give it more.

Did I tell you that if I go two more minutes without giving it some of that, I'll die of heartbreak?

I wander the streets. I pass among the zombies who sometimes play "Being human". I inject it mixed up. Without knowing if it's more than two grams. The Russian roulette spins inside my veins.

Time flies...

"Where are you?" someone shouts at me...

"I am where I am" I shout silently as I surrender myself to the last journey into the universe.

"Are you here?" tells me The Naloxone.