In Love With An Older Man 19: Beshert

No, it couldn't be, Cindy told herself. She had been taking birth control pills since right after the twins had been born, and her periods had been as regular as clockwork. Yet this month she was already over a week late, and she was also beginning to experience some of the same symptoms she had felt very early in her pregnancy with the twins.

Cindy suddenly remembered that she had taken antibiotics for a sinus infection a couple of weeks previously, but at the time it hadn't even occurred to her that they might interfere with the effectiveness of the pill.

Oh my God, what am I gonna tell Gary? she asked herself. Carly still had about a year and a half of college left, and Jake was due to start college himself the following August. Jonathan's medical expenses were quite costly as well. Not that Gary ever complained, but Cindy saw the worried look in his eyes every month when the bills came.

Oh well, no point in worrying about it until I know that it's true, Cindy told herself, but she did make an appointment for a pregnancy test.

"The St. Mary's Catholic Church has the Christmas lights again like they had last year," Cindy told Gary that evening. The St. Mary's church was a church downtown that put on an extravagant show with Christmas tree lights every year. Many natural and artificial trees, topiaries, booths, statues, and other structures were decorated with Christmas tree lights, and when all the lights were lit, the result was spectacular.

Gary looked amused. "Let me guess...you want to go see them, right?"

"They are very beautiful."

Gary feigned annoyance. "All right, Cindy. I'll humor you."

"Just think of them as holiday lights, Gary."

"Holiday lights," Gary muttered, swatting her behind playfully. Cindy laughed. She knew that Gary really enjoyed seeing the lights too, even if he would never admit it.

By the way, Gary, there's something else I need to tell you was on the tip of Cindy's tongue, but she just couldn't get the words out.

That Friday evening, the sun was almost all the way set when Gary and Cindy bundled the twins into the car for the drive to the church. Several stars were already twinkling in the sky as they pulled into the parking lot. Gary took the double stroller out of the trunk and, with Cindy's help, got the twins settled into it.

Rebecca and Jonathan, although too young to understand the reason for the trip, were still very excited.

"Look at the pretty lights," Cindy said to them.

"Pretty! Pretty!" Rebecca giggled and pointed to a tree strung with many colorful lights. "Pretty," said Jonathan, gazing at the tree.

They came upon a miniature merry-go-round with toddler-sized horses.

"Would you like a ride?" Cindy asked.

"Yes!" both twins cried enthusiastically. Gary and Cindy took them out of the stroller and sat them on the horses. Then they stood hand in hand watching them go around and around.

"Fancy seeing you two here," said a familiar voice. Cindy turned to see Alberta and Uncle Mordecai. Alice looked and sounded just like her old brisk and cheerful self. Uncle Mordecai was in a wheelchair, but he looked so much better than he had in the hospital that Cindy almost didn't recognize him.

"I didn't want to come, but she made me," he complained, but his eyes were twinkling.

"Truth of the matter is, he begged me to bring him," Alberta whispered confidentially to Cindy and Gary.

"So these are your two little ones," Uncle Mordecai said to Gary. "Such darling little angels they are."

"You just haven't been around them enough yet," Gary joked. "How have you been feeling, Uncle Mordecai?"

"Much, much better," his uncle assured him. "Alberta here has been so much better for me than any medicine could ever be."

"Aww, just listen to you," Alberta said modestly, but Cindy could tell that she was pleased.

"They look so sweet together, don't they?" Cindy remarked on the way home.

"I think Alberta is just what the doctor ordered," Gary agreed. "They remind me so much of you and me when we first got together."

Later Cindy realized that she had enjoyed the evening so much that her pregnancy concerns hadn't even crossed her mind the entire time. It wasn't until the next day that she finally got up the nerve to tell Gary.

"Gary, I think I might be pregnant," she blurted.

Gary blinked, stunned.

"Did you forget to take a pill?" he asked.

"No, but I think the antibiotics I was on for my sinus infection might have messed up my cycle."

Gary sighed deeply. "When will you know for sure?"

"I have an appointment for a pregnancy test in a few days."

Gary was silent.

"I'm so sorry, Gary," she said meekly.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong. And if it turns out that you are pregnant, everything will be all right. We'll manage somehow."

A couple of days later, Cindy woke up with severe abdominal cramps. When she reached the bathroom, she discovered that she was bleeding quite heavily, more heavily than usual.

Not wanting to alarm Gary before he started his work day, she waited until that evening to tell him.

"I finally got my period," she said.

"Great!" Gary looked visibly relieved. "So all your worrying was for nothing then."

"But it hasn't been a normal period, Gary. The bleeding has been heavier, the cramps have been worse, and I've been passing some weird-looking brownish junk too. I think that maybe there was a baby but I lost it."

Gary looked very concerned. "Do you think that you need to go to the hospital?"

"I'm all right now. The cramps and bleeding have eased off, so it's more like a normal period now. But Gary, if there really was a baby...then that was a new life, a part of me and a part of you too, just like the twins...and now it's gone..." Cindy felt as if she might cry.

"Oh, honey," Gary whispered. He gathered Cindy into his arms and held her close. "We just have to believe that if that's true, then it was what was meant to be."

"Do you really believe that?"

He nodded. "Never lose faith, Cyn. Sometimes it's all you have left to live on. Ask any Holocaust survivor."

"I don't know any."

"I have some cousins on my mom's side. On my dad's, too, come to think of it."

"Oh Gary, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"It's all right. I've never met any of them. Perhaps I will some day. I'll bet they have some stories to tell."

"I'm sure they do."

"I have something I want to give you, Cindy. I was planning to wait until Christmas, but right now seems to be the perfect time." He walked to the dresser and returned with a small box, which he opened to reveal a delicate gold chain on which hung a small gold heart which contained a single diamond and one word: 'Beshert'.

"Oh, Gary, it's beautiful," Cindy gasped. "What does that word mean? Beshert?"

"It means destiny, fate. The person you were meant to be with from the beginning of time. That's what you are to me, Cindy."

"Oh, Gary." Cindy was all choked up. She didn't have the words to tell him how she felt, so she hugged him tightly and kissed him over and over.

Gary laughed. "I take it you like it then."

"Oh, I love it!"

"So do you want it on?"

"Oh yes!"

Gary fastened the necklace around her neck, and they both admired it in the mirror.

"I feel so much better now," Cindy said.

"I thought you might." Gary winked at her. "Coming to bed soon?"

Cindy nodded, yawning. Gary laughed and pulled the covers back for her. She cuddled up against him and was soon asleep.