If we don't love enough in this life, it will last in the next

The night was pale, and the cold wind was drilling down my collar, so cold that I was suffocating, just like the look of disappointment and helplessness in Luo Yi Zhou's eyes when he looked at me.

　　"I would also be afraid, I would also be cowardly, I also once went back to look for you, but you disappeared without a trace, how can I go to find you?"

　　"Why exactly were you with Liang Zicong?"

　　"I just want to know, do you believe me?"

　　......

　　Luo Yi Zhou's words kept echoing in my ears like countless bees singing non-stop, my head seemed to have stopped thinking at this instant, I was walking so fast that I was afraid that as soon as I stopped, I would not be able to take another step forward at all.

　　I just sprinted back from the park to the Greenleaf neighborhood, and it wasn't until I opened the door to my room that I remembered my destination was the hospital, and that I was supposed to pick up Liang Zicong to go out.

　　When I looked down, I saw Shin Shin sitting on the floor holding a beer bottle and leaning against the door, her eyes were red and she looked like a ferocious beast.

　　She staggered up from the floor, holding the bottle of wine and staggering towards me. The smell of alcohol followed her breath to my ear: "Huanhuan, come, drink with me."

　　I think I should be crazy, otherwise, how could I sit with her on the ground and drink without saying a word? In the middle of winter, Xinxin and I just drank cold beer with water droplets on the bottle from the refrigerator, freezing the two of us shivering and freezing my eyes almost to tears.

　　"Huanhuan, that old son of a bitch came to see me again."

　　"I guess Luo Yi Zhou and I can't get entangled after all."

　　Shin Shin and I were back to back, and for a moment, I could feel both of our backs stiffening up. I didn't turn my head to look at Xinxin, yet I knew our expressions were the same at that moment, even our feelings were the same helplessness.

　　I have forgotten whether we continued on this topic, and I also forgot what topics we discussed, I only know that we drank a lot of wine, said a lot of words, and even shed a few tears like two literary girls.

　　I don't remember anything after that, it was like I had a long dream with Xinxin, Liang Zicong, and ...... Luo Yizhou.

　　He kept saying something to me, but I didn't hear a word, just watched his lips close and close, I wanted to get closer, but a pair of hands appeared and pulled me away from him hard.

　　I woke up covered in sweat and the back of my lining was wet. I rubbed my eyes and found myself lying on all fours with Shin Shin in the entranceway, my phone sleeping at my feet, vibrating constantly.

　　The three big black letters "Liang Zicong" were still flashing on the screen, and my head hurt like it was going to explode. I suddenly remembered that last night Liang Zicong was discharged from the hospital, but I had been drinking all night with Xinxin.

　　I put the phone to my ear and pressed connect, but the only sound on the other end of the line was his faint breathing, and he just said "hello" and stopped talking.

　　"I'm going to be late, so I'll go to class and talk to you when I get back." I looked at the time and hung up the phone without waiting for Liang Zicong to answer, ignoring the thirty-one missed calls along with his, I thought I needed to calm down a bit.

　　But I didn't expect that Liang Zicong would arrive at the school before me, his hand was still bandaged and he was standing in front of the school wearing a white coat, looking like a snow sculpture from afar.

　　Liang Zicong and Luo Yi Zhou are two completely different people. One is gentle, one is arrogant, one is low-key, one is wild, one is as warm as the spring breeze, and one is as warm as the bright sun.

　　Now the spring breeze is standing in front of me, looking at me with a somewhat pale face. I was like a schoolboy who was punished by the teacher, rubbing my hands constantly to hide my uneasiness and weakness of the heart.

　　"Li Huan, how many days has it been since we have seen each other." He still had a light smile on the corner of his mouth when he spoke, unlike Luo Yi Zhou, without the slightest sense of oppression, but I still didn't dare to look him in the eye.

　　We haven't seen each other for many days. Since I entered the magazine, I haven't been to see him in the hospital, and I rarely even answer his phone calls, and I even forgot about his discharge.

　　And he didn't care at all.

　　The more I did, the more I dared not face Liang Zicong, and the more I felt like an asshole.

　　So I found an excuse again: "I have to go to class, I have a professional class today. You take good care of yourself, remember to take your medicine, and never lift heavy things with your hands, okay?"

　　After saying that I didn't wait for his answer and hurriedly fled. I didn't look back, but I could still imagine his mouth drooping, looking gloomy, standing under the ginkgo tree lost look.

　　I am sorry to Liang Zicong I know it.

　　I'm a jerk, and I know it.

　　I'm a big jerk, I admit that I'm avoiding Liang Zicong, I've been crammed full of time in and out of class and at work for the past three days. Or I'm avoiding all of them, and only when I'm faced with my housemate, Ms. Shin Shin, can I let go of my guard a little and loosen that string in my head.

　　So, when I came home from the magazine after being taunted by Lin Xiaowan for a day and waiting for three hours without seeing Xinxin, I admit I was panicked.

　　I waited from twelve o'clock until three o'clock midnight and still hadn't waited for Xinxin's return, and her phone was always unavailable. I finally wrapped up my coat, locked the doors and windows, and walked out of the Greenleaf neighborhood in the middle of the night, heading for the bar I had never been to, Fireworks, where Shin Shin worked.

　　I hadn't been in such a bright and green place for a long time, and the memories of the first and last time I stepped into a bar were so bad that I hated it.

　　The lights were dim, and the deafening music mixed with all kinds of ambiguous sounds kept coming at me, and my eardrums were about to be shattered. I went around in a big circle, dodging a few pairs of salty hands but still no sign of Shin Shin, so I finally had to pull up on the bar and ask the guy who was performing the fancy bartending.

　　"Hello, do you know where Shin Shin is?" I almost yelled out.

　　"Looking for her again? Not in not in!" The bartender, obviously a little impatient, proceeded to ask me, "Would you like a drink?"