If only I could remember?

You talk about time as if it’s some game, lets just throw a picture and a few lines of how we ended up in another lane.

it was 670bc and they called it the Babilion war there was blood everywhere I was catapulted onto a wet dark muddy ground, everyone was running, people having spears through them and knives and beaten with stones. I am from 2023, petrified and wondering what the hell is going on in Jerusale, Israel.

Boats we’re being filled with Royalty what was left descended from Enoc went to America in Orego. They hated it there and longed fro home and their ways were not the ways of the Natives already living there the Mohawk. They kept their distance but raley interacted.

only once did they seek advice from another tribe Cherokee, shamans for fertilit, Seth one of the men that ran in the war his wife could not conceive. God so was disgusted in the ways of Enocs line in America he moved them back to Israel years later in the surrounding area, they were never to enjoy theit prestige again as they had defiled God. Enoch changed his ways and sought forgiveness and mercy for his tribe and God forgave them. He grew fond of Enoch and the way he had grown to edify the church and the land of isreal and when it was time for Enoch he was walking with God and never seen again.

king David took over Isreal and the war was over and God made peace with the land again. But the weapons they used the bloodbath, the War and the fleeing of Israel shown in my own being and existence without anyone seeing me was to be the first travelling experience I was to be completely bowled over by in time frame. I think that’s why the Holy Ghost came upon me and I was to have an Epiphany when you read and really absorb the childhood I experienced and growing up. I was born for this and time travel is becoming quite fashionabl, until my next trip I will leave you to absorb the chapter of this………………

This has pages missing in Apple notes; where they will not open and gone corrupt, always does where it has anything to do with the real “Go Brandon “ I may be silenced 🔕 on platforms but some are are silenced themselves for the day. This however was a rundown really of my life as a child growing up and into teenage to married life and childten.And you cannot stop the wall from listening to my story of a typical neglected, disfunctional family. My wall was the only true friend I had in life it never once made me feel bad about mysel, and it always managed to make me feeling good about myself after a session with the wall. If walls could speak though!

My Childhood no different from anyone else’s in a the grips of the Social Care System in the early 76/79 period where sexual abuse was the norm and you just dididn’t speak about it as it was a sin to say it! So it was swept under the carpet, let’s just leave it there as what’s the point in dredging up the sewerage of the 70 ‘s in the Social Care System. But I know why I was alway the one first “me please pick me please “ for anything. Now I no why I don’t trust anyone, if I do you are honoured because I have a circle ⭕️ so small that being there’s no corners in the circle for the enemy to hide.

My sister and I ended up in a care home I was 7 years old she was 8 years old, my Mother couldn’t cope. We ended going to a big house on the hill just at the top of Chesterfield, Holly House. We arrived was instantly separated like in a war camp , you that way. Why? How dare you just get in there! It was a dormitory full of frightened Girls with no light, pitch black dark, to prevent any of us getting out of be. This is where I learned my sixth sense and my third eye came into play.

I was told to get back to my dormitory instantly before I got into trouble.

Bearing in mind we are 7 year olds and onwards here.!

At the age of 14 I completely changed as though I had been touched by the Holy Ghost himself.

went from a bullying, compulsive lier to an honest diplomatic person with the kindest heart you could ever meet.

The Holy Ghost I didn't even know what that was until now and I suppose I knew something extraordinary had happened but I just presumed it was a spiritual thing. I did never go to church or own a Bible but I made a vow to myself that I would never lie again- as lying is a waste of energy and the truth always emerges eventually.

Anyway I was going to be fostered at 14 and I was in Nottinghamshire or somewhere in a secure unit at the age of 13 as my mother couldn't cope with me when I went home at the fortnightly weekend and I had been sniffing glue.

They told me I was going to be fostered and this was a privilege; apparently so I said "I'm not being fostered unless you remove all these self Indian ink tattoos all over my body. They agreed. Worse thing I ever did the scares on my arms at the top they have left - I cannot wear anything showing them as people always ask what happened to me with my arms they have been butchered. I was a little excited I was given a voucher to buy new clothes and shoes about 300 pounds it was and that was a while back it was a lot of money but I bought shoes clothes, coat, bag for school, uniform and night wear and dressing gown. I felt really good about myself for the first as I had only ever had hand me downs, or stolen clothes from a washing line, quite embarrassing now.

I was accepted into a Secondary School on one condition that I went back a year as all the exams were 50% written homework. So I needed to study and write my work up to be handed in within that year.

I started at Markland Secondary School and it was nerve racking but that is where I met my first husband John, we looked at each other and his brown eyes were like puppy dog eyes. I fell instantly for him as I knew he had felt immense pain like myself and I knew he would talk when the time was right.

My Foster mother was awful to me and made it clear she didn't like

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making it bleed and throwing me across the room because I said I was going to visit my sister in NewMills.

We kept quiet in case they sent me miles out to another home or Foster parents and we didn't want to be separated.

Our relationship blossomed and we were so close you couldn't get water between us, the immense pain I had seen was his father had fell down the stairs to his feet and died of a heart attack. He couldn't get the vision out of his head and it was haunting him. I removed it.

His Mother hated me as I was taking her Son off her as she had only just lost her husband so we couldn't go in his house, and my Foster parents were hateful.

So it was the streets for us. We did our homework on a wall outside a pub, we took the dogs to creswell crags and we used to sit in this massive cave, cuddle up as it was freezing and he used to take his big mining coat, black it was and wrap it around me and we talked about we would get our own place when I become 18 as that's when the Fostering ends.

We couldn't wait.

I got myself a job at the Local Farm walking and feeding about 40 bouvier dogs as she used to breed and sell them this was 30 five years ago.

I also got a job working for a Chinese takeaway at the weekend and loved it, they used to give me a meal at the end of the night. John and I would eat it. Anyway I was earning that much money I started buying household goods ready for when I became 18. Rita hated this but she couldn't do anything but watch. She hid the lead to the dryer so I couldn't dry my uniform. She would buy my foster sisters sweet bags and leave me out. She cooked gruel for tea and had a dog that sat and was the size of a horse gruelling at the table I couldn't eat the food. I lost that much weight my Social worker Shirley wanted to know what was going on and I said nothing.

I started to save for John and I to get married at 18 which was easy as I didn't spend any of my earnings so it quickly grew.

In the last year at school my history teacher asked if I would babysit his two boys for a few weeks; I couldn't believe it a teacher asking me to babysit his children- anyway I agreed they were a joy to babysit., they

Mansfield was my house, 199 Hewitt Street- doesn't exist anymore it was a little tiny mining village that I was put in; also in the middle of a war between two politicians Arthur Scargill who was fighting for the union; Margaret Thatcher's tactics of I don't care just shut all the mines down. These villages had only the mine as their livelihood and she didn't care. Anyway I was in college and John was working in an iron factory.

We had nothing and there was no coal anywhere, so we were chopping our furniture up for warmth; it was horrendous.

I was determined it was never going to effect my life in marriage and children and it didn't regarding children.

My first husband we met at school and was childhood sweethearts but by the time our first child was 18 months old we amicable parted ways and Divorced as he met a woman much older than him.

She was the wicked stepmother she hated our Child who was 7 when she coaxed her into having all her cut off, it was long beautiful curly brown hair, now it was short brown hair, it was for the better she declared.

When our daughter came home she was in floods of tears and didn't want to visit there ever again. I explained all this to her father, that she didn't want to visit every again and that his wife just didn't like our daughter and was jealous of her.

The next thing I knew John explained he and Anna was moving to Brazil to start up a new engineering business with Emanuel, I begged him not to go and that our daughter was at a vulnerable age and would retaliate if this was to happen. Anna had organised this business in Brazil with Emanuel who she knew from her previous marriage, and John and Emanuel started the factory up making engine parts and plane parts. I told John don't go you will die there and be alone with none of us around you, and that's exactly what happened. He died alone in a hospital.

On return my daughter would tell me her father was drinking heavily and switching from one Doctor to another as he was basically drinking himself to death. He would tell his daughter he regretted marrying his second wife and leaving England and tell your Mother was the only I ever loved ,tell her I love her.

He died in the February 2010 of Liver failure, they could not save him.

Mansfield was my house, 199 Hewitt Street- doesn't exist anymore it was a little tiny mining village that I was put in; also in the middle of a war between two politicians Arthur Scargill who was fighting for the union; Margaret Thatcher's tactics of I don't care just shut all the mines down. These villages had only the mine as their livelihood and she didn't care. Anyway I was in college and John was working in an iron factory.

We had nothing and there was no coal anywhere, so we were chopping our furniture up for warmth; it was horrendous.

I was determined it was never going to effect my life in marriage and children and it didn't regarding children.

My first husband we met at school and was childhood sweethearts but by the time our first child was 18 months old we amicable parted ways and Divorced as he met a woman much older than him.

She was the wicked stepmother she hated our Child who was 7 when she coaxed her into having all her cut off, it was long beautiful curly brown hair, now it was short brown hair, it was for the better she declared.

When our daughter came home she was in floods of tears and didn't want to visit there ever again. I explained all this to her father, that she didn't want to visit every again and that his wife just didn't like our daughter and was jealous of her.

The next thing I knew John explained he and Anna was moving to Brazil to start up a new engineering business with Emanuel, I begged him not to go and that our daughter was at a vulnerable age and would retaliate if this was to happen. Anna had organised this business in Brazil with Emanuel who she knew from her previous marriage, and John and Emanuel started the factory up making engine parts and plane parts. I told John don't go you will die there and be alone with none of us around you, and that's exactly what happened. He died alone in a hospital.

On return my daughter would tell me her father was drinking heavily and switching from one Doctor to another as he was basically drinking himself to death. He would tell his daughter he regretted marrying his second wife and leaving England and tell your Mother was the only I ever loved ,tell her I love her.

He died in the February 2010 of Liver failure, they could not save him.

Mansfield was my house, 199 Hewitt Street- doesn't exist anymore it was a little tiny mining village that I was put in; also in the middle of a war between two politicians Arthur Scargill who was fighting for the union; Margaret Thatcher's tactics of I don't care just shut all the mines down. These villages had only the mine as their livelihood and she didn't care. Anyway I was in college and John was working in an iron factory.

We had nothing and there was no coal anywhere, so we were chopping our furniture up for warmth; it was horrendous.

I was determined it was never going to effect my life in marriage and children and it didn't regarding children.

My first husband we met at school and was childhood sweethearts but by the time our first child was 18 months old we amicable parted ways and Divorced as he met a woman much older than him.

She was the wicked stepmother she hated our Child who was 7 when she coaxed her into having all her cut off, it was long beautiful curly brown hair, now it was short brown hair, it was for the better she declared.

When our daughter came home she was in floods of tears and didn't want to visit there ever again. I explained all this to her father, that she didn't want to visit every again and that his wife just didn't like our daughter and was jealous of her.

The next thing I knew John explained he and Anna was moving to Brazil to start up a new engineering business with Emanuel, I begged him not to go and that our daughter was at a vulnerable age and would retaliate if this was to happen. Anna had organised this business in Brazil with Emanuel who she knew from her previous marriage, and John and Emanuel started the factory up making engine parts and plane parts. I told John don't go you will die there and be alone with none of us around you, and that's exactly what happened. He died alone in a hospital.

On return my daughter would tell me her father was drinking heavily and switching from one Doctor to another as he was basically drinking himself to death. He would tell his daughter he regretted marrying his second wife and leaving England and tell your Mother was the only I ever loved ,tell her I love her.

He died in the February 2010 of Liver failure, they could not save him.

We went to his funeral as a family second husband and our Son.

His wife couldn't make it as she was having a face lift that day.

My Second husband Malcolm had lumber back problems; heart disease, he had stents fitted in his heart. He was diagnosed with peripheral arterial disease, so he was a very sick man.

He knew he was going to die he told me and the children who were grown up, we just said"don't be daft". He didn't want to die in our home we had built for 26 years together, so he booked himself in at The Travel Lodge our favourite family meal, restaurant complex. He died the night he booked himself in there; the toxicology report at the inquest came to an open verdict as he had only had one pint to drink however he had drank half a bottle of morphine and smoked a joint and had a heart attack, he couldn't breathe. Opiate poisoning.

Malcolm and I were twin flames instantly when we first layer eyes on each other we knew, it wasn't your heart carrying away with itself, it was quite awkward. Malcolm had been celebrate for 6 years - like his Son before he met his girlfriend. They say that your soul mate isn't necessarily the one who makes your heart pace on first sight.

We grew together after we got passed the awkwardness and married after our Son was Born, he was 18 months old and we had our first abroad holiday and we went to Spain.

Then tragedy was to take place for a second time and my second husband was to die of massive heart attack in the October 2010 same year as my first husband who remarried, but I vowed never to marry again that I was the black widow and if was to marry what if he died and 12 years on I’m still single and no man has died. weird world

Part one @dawnearnshaw©️issues.