I will not argue or make a scene, heartache with silence instead of everything

Many years later, I still can't guess.

　　I can't guess if you're facing me with the same feeling as I am, and I can't help myself.

　　01.

　　The hospital is the second place I hate.

　　Now, I am anxiously pacing in this place filled with the strong smell of sterilized water and the faint smell of blood, watching a person covered in blood or with a painful expression being pushed into the operating room, and then being quietly pushed away or pushed into the next ward.

　　The moans of the patients, the cries of the families, the reprimands of the doctors, mixed with the soft reassurances of the nurses, kept echoing in my ears, forming a symphony.

　　The light above the operating room was still on, and the bright red words "in surgery" made me even more anxious. Just when I was about to pull myself to the door of the operating room, a big hand pulled me back in time, and I turned my head to see Luo Yi Zhou's dark poker-like face, and half of the red slap marks I left on his face.

　　"That's enough, you've only been in there for half an hour and you're like this, if you go in for an hour do you want to tear the hospital apart?"

　　I looked at his cloudy face, my anger ran up at once: "Do you people have compassion or not? If it wasn't for you, Liang Zicong wouldn't have been in trouble at all!"

　　"You think I did it? Do you think a 5'8" boy would have been hit by a car if I had given him a slight flip?" He sneered, "Li Huan, you're too stupid! You even beat me up for him! Is he that good? Worth it for you to treat him like that?"

　　"Isn't it? Was it a lie that he was hit by a car? Was it a lie that he bled so much? Why did you show up? If it wasn't for you nothing would have happened! And what happened between me and Liang Zicong has nothing to do with you, I know in my heart if he is good or not, at least he is better than you!"

　　After I finished yelling, Luo Yi Zhou's face became even more gloomy, his breathing was heavy but disorderly, and his knuckles were white with his clenched fists as if he would reach out and strangle me to death in the next second.

　　I tilted my head up to look at his familiar yet unfamiliar face and confronted him like this. Luo Yi Zhou's eyes were getting colder and colder, making me a little weak, but the fault was not mine, so who am I to be weak, I straightened my spine and said to him, "Luo Yi Zhou, you were the one who wronged me in the first place, and you were the one who gave up on me, so you can get lost now too!"

　　After I said that, I turned my head away and didn't want to talk to him anymore!

　　But Luo Yizhou suddenly pulled my down jacket and dragged my hand out: "Li Huan, let's roll together!"

　　I struggled like a madman with my teeth and claws, while he held my head and pressed me against his chest, I heard his heartbeat - dong, dong, dong.

　　He rested his chin on the top of my head and seemed to sigh, "We haven't seen each other for two years, don't you miss me?"

　　The voice was a bit hoarse, "buzzing" from his chest and bones, shaking my head with the "buzzing" sound, just two words, but my nose became sour.

　　He said, "Lithuania, I miss you."

　　How many times do you have to hypnotize yourself to pretend that you don't care?

　　I broke away from him hard, waving my arms and legs around, slamming my fists on his chest, and kicking his calves, and I became even angrier when he grimaced in pain but refused to let go of my hands.

　　"You let go! Bastard!"

　　"Son of a bitch, let go of me!"

　　"Let go of me!"

　　......

　　"That's enough, guys! This is a hospital, will you please be quiet? If you want to fight, go out and fight!" A white angel in a nurse's uniform interrupted us with a frown, "Also, your friend has finished his surgery and just woke up."

　　Only then did Luo Yi Zhou let go of me sarcastically, and I gave him a vicious glare with red eyes, then walked towards Liang Zicong's ward.

　　He looked very bad, with a thick layer of gauze wrapped around his head and his left hand in a cast, he giggled when he saw me enter, but when he saw the person behind me, his smile froze.

　　"Why is he here too?" He looked at me, waved at me with his right hand, which was still movable, and only smiled again when he saw me walking towards him.

　　As I was about to reply, I heard Luo Yizhou behind me say coldly, "Why can't I come? Oh yeah, I think you don't want to see me either, but at least I made your injury, how can I not come to see it?"

　　Luo Yi Zhou resumed his indifferent face that the whole world owed him money, and his words were incomparably sharp and vicious, and his eyes had disgust and impatience written on them, "It doesn't look like it's a big deal! Liang Zicong."

　　"You know each other?" I asked Liang Zicong, pointing at him, "How do you know each other?" I didn't even realize the strong sense of detachment I was carrying in these words.

　　Liang Zicong opened his mouth to speak, but Luo Yizhou spoke up first: "How do you not know each other? We've known each other for ten years! Isn't that right, my brother."

　　His voice was not very loud, and the word "brother" was bitten extremely hard, even with the implication of gnashing teeth. I turned my head to look at Liang Zicong, his original pale face became even more bloodless, the whole face is like white paper.

　　The word "brother" is like a dry thunder, splitting me into two.

　　It turns out that, in the dark, we have long been bound together by a hand called fate, so no matter how hard we try, it is only in vain.

　　"I hate them so much, if it wasn't for them my mom wouldn't have gone crazy, let alone committed suicide ......"

　　"I hate this family, even more, I hate Luo Jiaming, I hate Xu Meilu and the dragger she brought with her!!! I hate them so much ......"

　　"You will never understand how your mother felt when she was driven mad alive because she refused to get a divorce, so you don't know how much I hate them!"

　　"I miss my mother so much, I miss her so much, but she's never coming back ......"

　　I remembered the summer of the year I turned fifteen, the teenager Luo Yi Zhou, who had always been incredibly proud, lay on my shoulder, hugging me and crying like a child, his tears dripping on my shoulder and soaking my clothes.

　　But he did not know that since I met him, my heart was soaked in tears and I had lost the opportunity to kiss the sun.