I forgive Him.

He used to study at my center. I first saw him in October 2022, and back then, I didn’t like him at all. But after some time, I started finding him good, and I began to feel attracted to him.

This was the first time something like this happened to me. I wanted him to talk to me, but I never took the first step. One day, I received a message from him—he needed something for his work. I gave it to him.

This was very unexpected because I never shared my self-made notes with anyone. I was a good student, and I had an attitude too. But still, I gave him my work. That’s where our conversation started. At first, we talked only about work, then it turned into casual greetings like "How are you?", "I'm fine." Then it reached "Let me know when you're leaving" and later turned into "Good morning" and "Good night."

At first, it was just attraction, then it became a habit, and then an addiction.

One day, he asked me, "Why do you talk to me?" I hesitated because the truth was, I didn't talk to anyone else—just him. But I lied and said, "I just talk to you casually." He replied, "No one talks to someone this much without a reason." I avoided answering. Then, after some more conversations, I finally told him the truth.

Yes, I confessed—I told him that I liked him. And that’s where my downfall began. At first, everything was good, but then something changed in him.

On May 7, 2024, he told me that he didn't want to talk to me anymore. He said he didn’t love me—not even 10%. I begged him not to do this, but then he said his mother had found a girl for him, and he wanted to end everything. When he mentioned another girl’s name, I simply said, "Okay." Yes, I told him goodbye.

After that, I couldn’t breathe properly. My mind went completely blank. And that’s when I realized—it wasn’t just attraction, it wasn’t just a habit, it wasn’t just an addiction. It was something else.

It was love. But it was unattainable. Incomplete. One-sided. After that, as he wished, I ended everything. I got busy with my life. I cut off all contact with him because I am a girl from a middle-class family, and I value self-respect more than love.

I value dignity more than love. So, I chose my dignity and...And I left my heart to die.

What is a heart, after all? A heart is a deceiver. I ended everything and immersed myself in work.

But today, on Eid-ul-Fitr, he messaged me again. He asked me to forgive him. And today, once again, I did something unexpected. I said, "I forgive you."

March 31, 2025 . I wrote it because there was no one else to listen—

It was only him, and then he left…

--- The End ---