I Discovered A Body!

OK, …………….long time no speak, ……….well, not strictly true - in fact, not just ‘not strictly true’, not true at all as this isn’t speaking and, even if it were, I can’t speak yet!

To clarify from the outset, I'm just four months old. So I channel my thoughts to you through my long-suffering, and occasionally inarticulate, Dad. He then has to interpret them into some semblance of intelligible words for you to be able to read them. Got that? OK, all clear, so on we go. Back to my thought transfer.

Get a grip and write what I’m gurgling to you. We had clearly defined roles from the beginning; I’m the ‘artist’ here and you’re just the ‘paint brush’, ok?

Stop getting caught up in tautology, semantics, and pedantry (whatever they all are!) and all that other unnecessary stuff that you think you’re being so clever with.

So get back to the story line. Now.

I discovered a body. Worse than that, I discovered various body parts and not all at the same time either.

Pretty scary under ‘normal’ circumstances that is, if you could describe such an experience as ‘normal’ for anyone, let alone me? Can you imagine what the last few weeks have been like for me an innocent four month old?

Pretty damn daunting really. Discovering things that I didn’t have any prior knowledge of let alone realise were at all connected.

There I was just lying in my crib, trying to chill when, bam! Out of the corner of my gaze I noticed this thing waving about. It was sort of pink and a bit chubby and had five strange pointy bits hanging off the end. The more I tried to get it in focus the more it waved about and, seemingly, tried to elude my attention and I haven’t got a lot of that to spare at my age believe me!

Then, just as I was getting to grips with tracking this chubby, pink, pointy thing about within my somewhat limited field of vision, bam, I suddenly experienced another epiphany. (I warned you once already Dad, stop using those words!) Ok, what he meant to write for me was “something else caught my eye!”

Another pink, chubby thing with five strange pointy bits hanging off the end. If I knew what any of it meant I might have immediately thought that I was being subjected to an alien invasion, or maybe even one of those ‘living nightmare’ things that I’ve heard Mom and Dad talk about (although to be honest, I’ve only really heard them mention that phrase in relation to something they call ‘in-laws’ and not pink, chubby, pointy things!).

As you will have realised by now, my life experiences have been somewhat restricted in my relatively short time on this planet, so chubby pointy things are how they seemed and so how they stay in my story.

This second one seemed to wave back at me in much the same disconcerting manner as number ‘one’ pink chubby pointy thing did. As much as I might try to focus on the one or the other, or even worse the two at the same time, they continued to move about in what I could best describe as a somewhat mesmeric manner.

In fact so mesmeric, that after no more than twenty minutes contemplation I drifted off into my beloved land of zzzzzzzzzz’s.

I may have dreamed of these things for a while, in fact I’m pretty sure that I did ’cause they were foremost in my mind when I woke up, which made a huge change from my normal milk priority, as I scanned around for them.

I wasn’t to be disappointed. There they were, waving about as if mocking me. They’d probably been doing the same thing outside my eyelids all the time I had been dozing. The horror.

These new things obviously needed my close attention. Not only did they suddenly appear, then wave about at random and lull me off with a false sense of security into slumber but also, in all probability, they carried on this behaviour, and who knows what other mischiefs, whilst I was asleep?

From that moment onwards I knew that I would have to keep an eye on these two things, just in case. The only trouble was they mesmerised me off to my beloved land of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s again in short time.

This pattern, dear reader, continued on and off for a few days.

I eventually grew more used to these things. What at first I saw as ungodly apparitions had now become no more than benign ‘creatures’ of interest and, in a strange way that I initially resisted, of a somewhat soothing quality.

They almost became extensions of me. In fact at some point Dad tried to convince me that they were extensions of me, but he’s got a way to go before I’m 100% certain of that.

Time is the great healer. My anxieties over these latest discoveries were gradually being healed. In fact, I was doing a great deal of the healing myself. I found it strangely therapeutic lying there and, bit by bit, learning that I had control over these things. Well, sort of.

I found that I could, with a great deal of concentration, move them vaguely in a direction I wanted them to move. By doing this I could save my eyes the extra problem of trying to chase their previous random motion. But I didn’t allow myself to get too complacent here; I didn’t wholly trust these things yet, so I had to keep up my surveillance of their activity.

All was going well. My form of meditation as Dad liked to call it, but ‘keeping an eye on them’ as the more accurate nomenclature I preferred, accelerated unabated.

There weren’t too many other distractions within my world. Other than drinking milk, sleeping, making odd noises and emptying my bowels that is; all perfectly normal activities for me. I slowly began to get more hooked on this ‘meditation lark’.

Then one dozy afternoon, almost fully mesmerised, bam! Another two pink, chubby, pointy things rose up into my line of sight. Slightly further away than ‘one’ and ‘two’, as I had now named my first two companions but, oddly, the same sort of shapes and movements were being described in the air by these two new phenomenon as had occurred with their predecessors.

I don’t mind admitting that I was thrown at first. But experience is a wonderful thing. And now, even I had some to draw on in this particular field. Within a day or two I was able to draw a bead on ‘three’ and ‘four’ (yep you guessed right, and no, imagination in naming things is not one of my strong qualities, just yet!) quite easily.

Now, after a further few weeks of surveillance (which Dad still insists on calling my meditation) of these new things in my world, I am able to track all four of them at will and in any particular order of my choosing.

I’m even coming to terms with the outside possibility that, as Mom, Big Sis and Dad keep reminding me, these four new pink, chubby, pointy things might just be attached to me and be my body parts.

I think for now though, acceptance of that fact is quite a way off. So I will just console myself with the knowledge that they’re not invading aliens or the things of nightmares but further elements of my world for pondering, close surveillance and meditation.