How to Survive an Alien Abduction

1. Introduction

It is no secret that the river is not as safe as it used to be. The threats that have risen against us have multiplied on a massive scale. I’m not talking about bears, eagles, or even one another, I’m talking about a far more formidable foe. Many have said that they are just a myth or a scary bedtime story for your fingerlings, but the truth is, they’re out there lying in wait for us. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t have seen so many disappearances as we have in this past season. Make no mistake, aliens are very real. That is why I’m here to tell you exactly what you need to do in the event of a close encounter.

2. Understand your Enemy

It would be a great disservice to cover the steps needed to survive an alien abduction without discussing the psychology of our enemy. What you need to understand is that the aliens live and breathe to snatch us away from our home. But why? Some believe that they do it because they are ravenous predators who enjoy feasting on our scaly flesh. Others say that they do it just for the sport of it, for pure stimulation. I believe it to be both. Either way, it should come as no surprise to anyone that they take great pleasure in our captivity, and nothing will stop them from doing it. Invasion is inevitable. All we can do is be ready when it does happen.

3. Know and Recognize the Signs

Recognizing the first stages of an abduction can be extraordinarily difficult, but it is also the most critical. Knowing the signs can mean the difference between life and death. It could even save other lives in the process. Here are some of the more prominent characteristics based on recent reports. The most lethal tactic that the aliens have deployed against us are decoys, but what are they exactly? Decoys are designed to appear like flies, nymphs, hoppers, or anything else that we can eat. The aliens have found a way to replicate our food, both dry and wet, which they then use to lure us into a deadly trap. They do this by attaching the bait to a long rope that can flow naturally with the river, which gives the decoy a realistic appearance. When a victim takes the bait, the decoy latches into their mouth like a leech, trapping them. Once the victim is caught, the aliens carry it away into the Other World, where most of them never return. So, how can you tell if you’re staring at a decoy, especially if they look identical to the real thing?

4. How to Spot a Decoy

Decoys can be very convincing, even tempting, if one doesn’t know what to look for, which is why attention to detail is key. If you see a potential decoy, always stop and inspect it carefully. If you wait patiently, the flaws will usually reveal themselves. One dead giveaway that has been proven time and time again is that decoys often don’t behave like the real food that we eat. For example, strange behaviors may include, but are not limited to, unusual swimming patterns, a dry fly sinking in the water, or a fly that hatches off season. The best advice that I can give you is to go with your gut. Look for anything that seems suspicious or out of place. If in doubt, always observe your surroundings. Sometimes you don’t even need to look at the bait to know when something is wrong. In fact, some claim to have even seen the aliens standing in the water, watching them from a distance. If anything is telling you that an alien could be nearby… swim!!! Swim as far away from that place as you can. It’s not worth gambling your life for one meal. Choosing your food wisely is paramount. Take your time and test everything you see before you decide to make a move.

5. How to Spot a Victim

Even then, sometimes mere head knowledge isn’t always enough. We all make mistakes, but for some, the decoy is just too good for the eyes. That is why the second most important thing you need to recognize is when a victim falls for the trap. Signs may include, but are not limited to, convulsions, bleeding, or strange swimming patterns. More times than not, these are usually clear indicators of an ongoing abduction. So, what exactly should you do in this situation? Unfortunately, there is very little that can be done for the victim. The force of an alien is said to be so powerful that it can only be broken when the rope or the decoy falters. Now I know it’s tragic, but if you see an attack, there is nothing you can do to rescue the victim. The first thing you need to do is evacuate yourself and anyone else in the area. Do not take any food along the way, because everything around you could now be a hazard. Current reports have indicated that the aliens will occasionally hunt in packs. If you see an attack, always assume that there could be others lurking around in the perimeter. Do not hesitate for a moment, get yourself out as fast as possible. Once you get to a safe place, do what you can to prevent anyone else from entering the attack zone. You may not be able to save everyone, but if you act quickly, you could save others from suffering the same fate.

6. What to Do if You Take a Decoy

I pray that you never have to put into practice what I am about to tell you next. Here is what you need to know if you yourself should ever fall for a decoy. When the aliens begin to lure you to the surface, every passing moment is sheer torture. Seconds can feel like hours as a sharp pain runs from your head all the way down to your tail. Like I said earlier, if you get caught, nobody else can save you. You are completely on your own, and everything you do now will greatly affect the outcome. Escaping from their snare is no easy feat, but it is not impossible either. There are only two means of escape: one, the decoy breaks away from your mouth, or two, the decoy detaches from the rope. Both scenarios are best achieved by swimming with the current of the river, which has been known to counteract the pull of the aliens. Let the flow of the river do the work, and don’t waste your strength too quickly. The last thing you want to do is burn all your energy and leave nothing for the end game, which is sometimes what it will take to break free. Resistance and resilience have been known to turn the tide of an abduction. Some have even lived to tell the tale. What tends to separate the survivors from the victims are the ones who save their strength for the opportune moment. If all else fails, then you will have to use all the strength you have left to break free, but this is only as a last resort. Although freedom is possible, here is the hard truth; the moment one gets fooled by a decoy, sometimes there is no going back for them. It could very well be too late. That is why you need to be aware of what happens when one gets dragged into the Other World.

7. The Other World

The simple fact is the Other World is not made for the likes of us. We are completely incompatible to the harsh conditions that are found there. In their world, your body will begin to die rapidly. Everything will feel heavy and slow as your gills begin to drown in the dry air. You will have about two minutes to survive, maybe five if you’re lucky. Now listen very carefully, if you ascend to the Other World, you will not be able to get yourself out. After all the fighting you’ve done, along with the shocking effects of the alien climate, you will more than likely be too weak and exhausted to do anything. At this point, it will take a miracle to survive, because you will be completely at their mercy. However, there is still good news. As I mentioned from the beginning, there are some aliens who hunt for the sport of it, which means, for reasons I can’t explain, that they will occasionally choose to let their prey go. If you get captured, you better pray that they have the grace to release you, because if you fall into their hands, that is the only way you will ever make it out alive.

8. Conclusion

The river doesn’t belong to us anymore; it belongs to them. The aliens have the authority to do what they will with it, which means that they also have sway over us. This is our reality, and we all must respect that one way or another. I just hope that none of you ever have to learn it the hard way. You still don’t believe me? Just take a look at the scars in my mouth and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about.