How to Sell Your Haunted House

The wind whistled wildly around me, practically screaming as I edged towards the house. But its warnings were falling on deaf ears. I knew what awaited me, and I had long since passed the time of fear. I carefully unlocked the oak doors and opened them just enough to slip in.

The door shut violently behind me. A new gust of wind circled through the house and voices echoed like cries from hell through the walls. I sighed and shifted my purse to my other arm.

“It's me, Amanda,” I groaned out into the emptiness. Almost immediately, all the threatening moans and wind died down. I saw a light blue figure of a woman moving towards me, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“Welcome, Amanda. I trust you are well?” she asked, politely stretching her arms out towards me. I put my hands on my hips.

“I would be better if you all could take a break and let me actually work on this house,” I spat back. She folded her hands in front of her and gave me a polite smile.

“I believe we’ve been more than accommodating for you. However, we’ve made it clear, this is our home, no matter what warmbloods you move in here they’ll have to tolerate a shared living space.”

“Emma, come on, please be reasonable. I’m not asking any of you to leave, but no one is going to withstand a brush of terror the instant they walk into their home. Could you just, I don’t know, calm down?” I asked with a huff. Emma’s lip twitched, and she looked as if she wanted to say some choice words, but she kept them to herself.

“Very well, but I’ll have to talk it over with William, you know what a stickler he is for formalities,” Emma replied, sounding perturbed. I sighed, realizing that was as good as I was going to get.

I put my purse down on the table and started my normal walk-through. Everyone was out and about now and offered me their traditional greetings. I waved them off as politely as possible and assessed the damage they had done since my last open house. I really should have listened when they said this house was unsellable.