How to Negotiate with the Fae

Was your infant son recently swapped with a devious changeling? Was your cousin lured into a dark and wretched wood? Did a stranger take your name and refuse to give it back? If any of these happened to you or someone you know, there’s no doubt about it- you’re dealing with the fae. From stealing your socks to drowning your betrothed, these impish jokesters cause all manner of inconveniences. We know these events can feel isolating, but there’s been a record number of incidents reported throughout the region this year. You are not alone. Luckily, you have something the fae don't. You have us!

At Icy Iron Industries, we do believe in faeries, and we understand the havoc their actions can wreak on the mortal realm. We also believe that no situation is impossible. That’s why we took the time to develop ASAPP. The next time a mischievous being runs off with your family heirloom or family member, remember ASAPP: Act, Steadfast, Appeal, Persevere, Protect. Whether it’s on land, at sea, or underground, following these five easy steps can tip the scales in your favor while you negotiate with the fae.

1. Act

Take action as quickly as possible. The longer the fae have whatever they took from you, the less likely you are to ever see it again. Before you reach out to arrange a meeting though, it’s best to have supplies gathered. The fae will likely have you travel to the nearest Gathering to plead your case, but you’ll want to be prepared in case they respond and arrive at your location immediately. The supplies you choose will be crucial when it comes time to appeal. If an item was taken from you, your supplies should include something comparable (e.g., a polished crystal you’re willing to part with for a piece of jewelry). If a person or name was taken, think of at least one reason their freedom is more valuable to the fae (e.g., your husband can’t support clean waterways if he’s pinned between worlds), and bring along something to sweeten the deal. If you’re not sure what will work as leverage, the fae honour nature above all else, so you’ll want to emphasize its importance to you. For offerings, they typically enjoy receiving good wine, shiny items, and homemade baked goods.

The quickest ways to reach the fae are via crystal ball and natural note, which can be written on undyed paper, leaf, or stone. If you don’t have experience contacting the Otherworld, an Icy Iron representative will be happy to assist you. Make an appointment online or give us a call today!

2. Steadfast

It’s crucial to set strong boundaries and hold your ground during your encounter with the fae, especially if you’ve been invited to a spot of their choosing. If you’re not accustomed to it, now is the time to practice saying “no”. A refreshing ripe plum and the promise of a soft bed can be particularly enticing if your journey to the meeting place was long and arduous, but do not accept any food, lodgings, or contracts presented to you by the fae. Most of us are taught from a young age to accept the offerings of a host because it would be rude not to. However, unless you want to get trapped in a faerie nest or bound as a servant to the mythic realm, you should firmly decline any and all gifts and deals that require giving a true name or signature.

3. Appeal

Make your request. This will go most smoothly if you can figure out why the fae took what they did. Maybe they were attracted to the sparkle of your grandmother’s pendant. Perhaps your brother unknowingly destroyed one of their sacred fungal portals. Some fae use vengeance as a guide, others act on a whim. Once you know the root of their action, it’s time to state your case and negotiate the release of whatever was stolen.

The fae revel in being recognized as ingeniously clever. Be sure to anchor everything you say in their best interest. For example, emphasize that you’d really rather not part with your precious polished emerald, but you’re willing to do it if that’s what needs to happen to get that pendant back. Or, emphasize that your brother is more aware and more willing than ever to tend to local gardens now that he’s experienced fae hospitality. They did a great job changing his character, and he can serve them best back in the mortal world. The more praise you can sprinkle on top of the offering you brought, the better.

4. Persevere

Don’t give up! Dancing through red tape is exhausting, but it’s always worth it to get back something you truly treasure. Mind your manners and graciously leave the fae whatever food or item you’ve brought along for the appeal portion of the interaction.

In the very rare event that a negotiation is unsuccessful, an Icy Iron Agent will be in touch to help you navigate the best course of action.

5. Protect

Secure your retreat and your future. The most effective protection from the fae kin is cold iron. This ore, when refined, triggers severe allergic reactions in all known fae types. Icy Iron Industries offers a vast selection of potent and portable steel, guaranteed to get you back from the faewild with all your limbs intact. We also provide impenetrable home security systems to keep all of your spaces safe from further violation.

From salts to stones, we have everything you need. Contact us today to get further guidance and award-winning wards from the best in the business. When it comes to the fae, don’t settle for cold- choose Icy Iron!