Honey...

Hey, honey, I’m home!

I know it’s really late - pretty much morning - and you are probably wondering what happened.

Let me explain.

We had to have a meeting today about the number of workers who would be let go by the end of the month. Now, you know that my ass was on the line as it is, so I did not want them to think that I was getting soft on company policy. I had to go out there and actually meet with the crew and tell them that despite all of their hard work, the company would be downsizing and then, wouldn’t you know it, they got pretty angry with me and told me to get lost and that they had no use for me and my bosses. I was lucky to get out of there in one piece.

Right, that was in the morning. But I was still in charge of making sure that things worked out with their mandate, so I took a long lunch and had their union reps talk to our staff and, wouldn’t you know it, they sent one of the most hard-assed negotiators on the planet. I had no idea that they would send someone like that to our office. She really was a beast.

Yes, it was a lady. She was really tough on all of us and I was forced to spend most of the afternoon listening to her complain about how those workers were an essential piece of the puzzle until I got so tired of it that we ended up having a very long lunch at the Dardanelles Club (my boss said that I could take my time and to get things settled before the day was done). That was why I made sure that she was happy before she finished up her meal and we continued to negotiate. And wouldn’t you know it, I had to be the only one left after the meal to drive her back to the office in the middle of the day. I never thought that it would take me almost two hours in the middle of the afternoon to get her back to her office. But I made sure she got their in time and that she was really happy with things (got her phone number at the ready in case we have to negotiate again).

So, are you ready for the big day?

Yes, I know I said that I would bring it with me today, but it won’t be hard to pick it up tomorrow. I’m sure that the boutique will have no problem getting the dress out for the big day. Your sister is probably over the moon about being one of our special guests at the wedding. It’s not every day that we celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of a marriage. Your parents are so lucky to be together for so long. And, before you say it, I think that we can beat their record if we just trust and love one other enough to understand that sometimes what you think you know and see is just an illusion; your mind playing all kinds of tricks on you.

Yes, your sister is very strange to me. Always talking about things that are not really that important, like who saw who at a hotel bar with someone else when they were supposed to pick up the kids from school or be at work in the middle of the day during very long negotiations that could have destroyed the company if that person did not take that extra step to make sure that everyone really was satisfied with what they got.

Oh, and there is the car.

You might want to pass by the car wash before we head off into the mountains and let all of our friends and family see the damage done. Yes, it is inexcusable that I would let so many disgruntled workers have their way with it, but wouldn’t you know it, they threw everything but the kitchen sink at me as I was leaving. You might even notice that there is some lipstick on the windshield, and that someone was trying to leave me a pretty obscene message that was less than verbal (amazing how bad graffiti can get when the “artist” has so much to say). I really tried to wipe as much of it off before I came home. It’s amazing how easily that stuff can get on your clothes and you miss a spot when you are trying to get clean. Just so ridiculous.

By the way, did anyone call? I think that I saw the machine flash a bit (glad that we kept that, right?). I think that someone from the office might be trying to get in touch with me. But, as I said to my boss and coworkers when I got back to the boardroom, “This weekend is going to be a very special one for the family, and I’m not going to let anyone or anything spoil it!” And wouldn’t you know it, they were not angry with me for the long lunch. They wanted to celebrate the fact that your folks have been together for so long. It was the end of a very long work week, and they said that I could leave a little early…once I had a drink with the crew (so strange that I thought I’d be in trouble). We had only one bottle of what turned out to be nonalcoholic wine, but someone must have known about our party plans because there was alcohol in my glass. And there must have been alcohol in the cups of a few others because we ended up singing and dancing and carrying on well past six o’clock. At least I knew when to cut myself off, which was a lot smarter than what a few others did. I turned out to be a designated driver for one of our accountants who really could not handle her liquor. All the way across town to get her home in one piece as she kept going on about how she hoped she would not lose the job, and how much she loved the company and how she was willing to do anything to stay on board. So ridiculous.

I really hope that there are no surprises besides the usual when we see the family this weekend. And I also hope that lipstick really does wash out of silk.

It’s going to be a great weekend!

*

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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