Homecoming

I stood there on the cold marble platform, My Yearmates standing beside me with the same eager anticipation. The doors were about to open and the world as we knew it was about to change.

Today was our Reunification Ceremony.

I looked around and saw all 155 of my year mates, all aged 16, and I zeroed in on Spencer and Mikayla. We have been sharing a pod since Year Five. Spencer was tall, skinny, and had an arrogant flare to his nostrils. Like he was always smelling something or someone beneath him. But that’s just how he looked. Inside I could tell that he was kind… we all had to be kind, it was mandatory, but with him it wasn’t just in his P.S., “Personality Scores” … it was innate.

Mikayla on the other hand was a force of nature… something that our A.I. Instructors had to beat out of her. Her nature was affecting her scores so much that she almost didn’t make it to today. However, the shock aversion therapy proved fruitful enough to get her P.S. at the right levels. I guess you could call them my best friends, but that was a term we only read about in our manuals.

We learned everything about life from those manuals, around Year Eight, they tried to introduce secular books but those were quickly voted out by the parish’s board. They were too individualistic and “fostered undesirable traits of otherness,” they said. So… it was back to the manuals. However, before they took the books away, I was able to read about Ramona and Beezus and their antics seemed so deliciously wild. I could understand why they took them away… I felt the spike in my emotions just flipping through the pages… it was exhilarating and it made me wonder if somewhere out there I might have a sister.

I felt close to both Spencer and Mikayla, like best friends are described, but still distant enough to keep my P.S. levels from going haywire on the emotive spectrum. I was top of my year in our parish’s Cultivation Center and it was a record that I was proud of. I was middle of the road emotionally, I had a promising future because of my scores, and would be able to join the work force in a leadership position instead of being relegated to an essential function. Mikayla was definitely going to get placed in an essential function, spirits like hers were dangerous in leadership… so I’ve read.

But I did envy her a little bit, she was able to push the limits and still maintain her place without being eliminated. She walked too close to the line in my opinion, elimination is the worst thing that could happen to us so I never dared to misstep, but watching her inching closer to that line… it was like reading that book. Exhilarating.

I noticed my hands were sweating. The A.I. instructors told us this could happen. Nerves. We were entering society and meeting our families who we’d not seen in all of our cognizant lives. I don’t know anything about my mother or father. There is a curiosity I have about them… what will they look like now? What does our house look like? What jobs do they have? I also wonder what place I am in my sibling group… or if I am their only offspring. These thoughts faded through my mind often, but I never allowed them to stay for long. I didn’t want to yearn for my parents… that would spike my scores. However now… those thoughts were overtaking my entire being.

I raised my sweaty palm to my neck and touched the heart-shaped locket that clung tightly to it. It was a gift from my mother. Tighter now that my body has grown into it. I could only imagine how silly it looked when she first gave it to me during our Bonding Period. A small infant with a grown-woman’s necklace on. The thought made me chuckle out loud.

“What’s so funny?” Spencer, who had left his spot in line, asked.

“Nothing really.” I responded.

“I can’t believe we’re finally getting out of this place.” Mikayla chimed in.

“I can’t believe you made it.” Spencer retorted.

“Any minute now, those doors are going to open and everything will be different, “ I said… full of anxious wonder.

“No, it won’t. That’s the point, that is what this has prepared us for.” Mikayla suddenly stated.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Life out there is going to be just as dull as it is in here. That’s how the system works.” She offered.

“I don’t think that’s true. This system… it was designed to-" I started before Mikayla cut back in finishing my rote thought.

“- Weed out undesirable traits and nip racism, sexism, and hate in the bud. Mass shootings are a thing of the past, hate crimes no longer exist, yada yada… That’s what the system was designed to do but something tells me that by having these machines raise us, it took something valuable away from us. And we won’t find it out there because our parents went through it too… and their parents. Whatever was unique in us is gone.”

“Well if what was unique involved all of those terrible things… then it’s probably good that it’s gone.” I said.

Mikayla just huffed and crossed her arms. She wasn’t convinced and now… I was a little concerned myself. What if she was right?

I held the locket in my hand and rubbed it like I often did when I felt a swell of emotions rising up in me. Inside the locket was the only image I ever saw of my mother. She was a brown-skinned woman, tight coils fell around her face, and she had a smile that beamed so wide, a smile that tells me she was probably more like Mikayla than me… I wonder what her scores looked like? On the other side of the locket was a photo of what I assume is me. It was a baby, chubby cheeks, a mess of curly hair, and a drool-smothered smile. I laughed again thinking of her putting the locket around that face. I felt calmer now. My mother was waiting for me and I finally allowed my excitement to grow… I wasn’t being tested on my P.S. anymore. I was free.

“HACKSAW PARISH GROUP 7780 PLEASE MOVE INTO POSITION.” A voice called out from the white speakers mounted on the marbled wall.

In front of us, 155 dots lit up in blue on the floor, we moved forward according to our assigned numbers. I was number 27, Mikayla was number 28, and Spencer number 26. We were always referred to as those numbers by the A.I. Instructors throughout our time at the Cultivation Center, this was familiar. However, once we stepped into position the number suddenly changed.

With a blinking light, the space in front of my feet that just said 27 now said… PARKER.

“Nice!” exclaimed Mikayla

I looked over to her, the number before her now reading MORALES.

She turned to me and put her hand out to shake mine.

“Hi, I’m Mikayla Morales.” She laughed. “Has a nice ring to it huh?”

I smiled and nodded. My last name is Parker. Essence Parker. Things were getting real.

The large doors opened up and standing before us were a huge group of adults. They each wore muted tones of brown and nude, a couple of pastel pinks littered the crowd. I scanned the faces, looking for that curly haired woman with the beaming smile.

They all had glass scanners in their hands which seemed to have a map of some sort on it. I watched as the blue names in front of our feet sent out a long blue line that seemed to connect to the scanners ahead. They were linking us with our family.

I was growing even more anxious now, waiting for my blue light to find my mother, when I heard Spencer’s voice.

“Mom!” Spencer cried out.

Sure enough, a tall scraggly-haired woman and a short man with a round belly and flared up nostrils just like Spencer’s were approaching him. I watched as Spencer put out his hand and shook theirs.

“It is so nice to meet you both.”

“Welcome home son, My name is Ethan Cohen and this is your mother, Mabel.” The short man said.

I looked forward and saw that my blue light was still dormant, I contemplated stepping off my position but I didn’t want to trip the system. So, I remained. After a few more groups were reunited, I saw Mikayla, she had tears in her eyes and was staring at a woman before her.

“Mija!” The woman said in exasperation.

“ENGLISH ONLY!” The A.I. boomed from the speakers. As if it had been standing right next to them. Then I saw the speaker icon on the scanner that the woman was holding. Indeed, our instructors were listening.

“My daughter,” The woman said, instead.

“Mama… it’s so nice to meet you.” Mikayla responded.

I looked down at the woman’s stomach… bulging from the promise of new life. She took Mikayla’s hand and placed it on her belly. “She’ll be coming soon.” She said.

I was again happy, for Mikayla… I guess there was something more to life outside the center after all.

My pod mates had left the platform and only me and a few stragglers were left. I waited, suddenly becoming more panicked. Then… the blue light flickered forward and I saw a figure walking towards me.

It was a man. He had a stern look on his face which lightened when he saw the scanner leading him towards me.

“Essence…” he said.

“Dad?” I asked.

He nodded and took my hands in his. “I’m Eli Parker. I’m your father.”

I couldn’t resist. I hugged him so hard with tear-stained cheeks. Eli bent down to my level and wiped the tears from my face. “Let’s get you home.”

He took me by the hand and I walked forward… with one question on my mind. Where is my mother?

We arrived at a lavish house and he parked his car. I followed him inside… waiting for the answer to my question. He showed me to my room. It was a beautiful, yet minimally decorated space. Perfect for my middle of the road nature.

“I have some work to do, but tonight we can have dinner together and get to know one another,” Eli said.

I nodded but something rose up inside of me and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Where is my mother?” I asked.

Eli stopped in his tracks, almost as if I had made a terrible misstep by asking. I braced myself for the shock through the veins that happens when we get an answer wrong in the center… but it wasn’t like that out here.

“She… she’s gone.” He finally said before quickly exiting the room.

I was crushed. This woman that I had tried not to fantasize about, but whose absence was wholly felt within my being, was gone.

In a desperate attempt to capture the fading of her memory, I opened the locket. There she was… beautiful. Beaming. Mine.

A tear fell from my eyes onto her photo. I immediately tore the photo from inside the locket, trying to dry it, and as I did, it fell to the floor. Upside down.

I stared at it curiously. How had I not seen this before? Written on the back of her photo in small print were the words…

Come Find Me.

Then it hit me.

She wasn’t gone. She was in hiding. I stared at the door to my new bedroom.

She’s waiting for me… she’s always been waiting. Mikayla was right… something was taken from us and now… I’m going to find it.