Hinterland High

I walked into the home economics room and scanned around to find the teacher. Instead, I saw this girl that had something about her, a sort of interesting glow. She was sitting alongside a ‘jock’ type guy, that was pestering her to the limit. She was just trying to ignore him, as one would with a child behaving foolishly. But he was persevering through her walls of calm, and I could see everyone in their vicinity slyly watching them. It was obvious that they did not want to give this guy the satisfaction of attention, but they wanted to be witnessing when the girl snapped and clocked him.

About 30 more seconds past, she looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, like a boxer before the bell rings to start the match. She slowly lowered her gaze until our eyes met. I was smiling cheekily, as I had joined the crowd in quietly waiting for her glorious retaliation. She quickly realised that she had an audience and chuckled as she shook off her rage. To the rest of the class’s disappointment.

The teacher came up beside me and introduced himself. “You must be Hannah. I’m Mr Willow. Welcome! We have another new student joining us later in the week that I will pair you up with. But for today you can just join with another pair.” He said as he gestured me over to the cute girl and her irritating cooking partner. “This is Penny and Shaun. Hannah will be working with you two today, so make her feel welcome. Understood Shaun?!”

“Yes Sir!” Shaun saluted, thinking her was being clever. Mr Willow, walked off whilst rolling his eyes.

“Hi Hannah” Penny said, smiling and pulling me up a stool.

“Hey Penny” I replied, feeling like we were in a slow motion meet-cute from a movie.

“Yep, that’s her. Pissy Penny.” Shaun the neanderthal hollers from behind her. Trying to simultaneously show off to me and embarrass Penny in front of the whole class. I sure as hell was not impressed, I’d dealt with my fair share of bullies in other schools. But poor Penny shrunk into her seat, humiliated.

“Shut it Shaun!” I snapped. I felt so defensive. How dare he make such a beautiful flower wilt for his own amusement. I did not share Penny’s reserve, especially when he continued.

“Geez touchy! It’s not like I was talking about you. Plus, it’s true. She did pee her pants. She tripped down the stairs in my parents pool yard and pissed herself!” He cruelly stated.

“That’s not exactly what happened, but…” Penny’s quietly mumbled defence was interrupted.

“But you did piss your pants!” He rudely interrupted again.

“Even if it did happen jackass, it’s no one’s damn business! So shut the hell up!” I arced up again, getting caught up in the argument. Before realising that Penny was almost in tears form all the unwelcomed attention.

“Alright. Alright. Let’s all calm down and get started on making the chocolate mud cake.” Mr Willow intervened.

“Whatever. Pissy Penny and her bodyguard here can get the ingredients and I’ll mix it.”

“Shaun, that’s your final warning! Anymore upsets and it’s detention!” Mr Willow said in a surprisingly stern voice.

“Alright. Can I at least go to the toilet Sir?” Shaun mumbled childishly. The teacher gestured him yes and walked back to his desk. As soon as the troublemaker had left the room the tension quickly subsided, and everyone went back to what they were doing.

I was embarrassed that I’d escalated the situation and contributed to Penny being upset. I was angry at myself. I felt like I’d blown it already, with my stupid defensive temper. She probably thought I was an overbearing psycho. Seeing as we hadn’t even had a single conversation and I was already jumping to her defence like a girlfriend. Yikes. That would freak me out too. All these thoughts were running a relay around my mind, while we each gathered ingredients for the mud cake in silence. I was freaking…what was she thinking?

“I’m really sorry about drawing everyone’s attention to you like that, it wasn’t my intention.” I nervously stammered.

She gave me a little forgiving smile and said, “It’s okay. It was kind of sweet actually. Mis-guided…but sweet.” I felt myself blush and we both let out a little nervously flirtatious chuckle in unison. Then we just continued from the beginning again. Like our meet-cute had never been interrupted.

We talked and laughed and I could feel an undeniable chemistry. One that I was sure was reciprocated, but I was new to dating and couldn’t know for sure. I’d already made a fool out of myself once today; I wasn’t about to risk doing it twice.

She asked about where I’d come from, and I told her that I’d been travelling with my family for the past few years. She was instantly excited and I could see that she had so many questions, but didn’t know where to start. So, I went to go into my bag to pull out my latest scrapbook/journal that I’d been working on from the trip. But when I opened my bag there was a little clear ziplocked bag with a few items in it. One which bought me instant confusion and embarrassment.

Penny was peering into the bag as I opened it and let out a little chuckle as she saw the confusion on my face. The bag had two honey and lemon tea bags in it next to a box of laxatives. There was a sticky note on the bag that said, “Just thought I’d pop in some tea and throat lozenges in case you still had a sore throat. Have a great first day! Love Mum.’ Right, so she meant to put in a box of throat lozenges. Good one Mum.

“That’s weird…” Penny said, capitalising on the fact that I was now embarrassed. “I didn’t think that you could take laxatives for a sore throat as well.” We laughed.

Then Shaun arrived back. “Bonding over our lack of sense of humour, are we?” We both rolled our eye’s and ignored him as he started grabbing the pre-measured ingredients and mixing them into the bowl. “Here keep mixing this, I’m gonna go get some almonds to add into it.”

“Shawn, you know I’m allergic to nuts. I won’t be able to eat it.” Penny sighed, knowing he was just being spiteful.

“All the more for me then!” He smirked as he continued to the ingredient’s cupboard at the front of the class.

“He really is a dick, isn’t he.” I accidentally said aloud without realising.

Penny laughed, “Yep. An entitled dick.” We both laughed, before I had a genius idea. “Hey Penny. I feel like Shaun’s voice sounds hoarse don’t you think…like he definitely has a sore throat…” We both looked down at the laxatives box and I knew that as I was one hundred percent putting laxatives into this guy’s cake batter…Penny was reserved though. Clearly weighing up the options of risk to reward.

“I’ve never even had detention…” She said with a jittery voice. She wanted to so bad, I could see the desperation in her eyes.

“Well, I have and I’m more than happy to get it again. Especially for the satisfaction I’m sure the entire class will get out of this. So, if you’re on board, just give me the nod and this one is totally on me!” I stated, knowing this was as enticing to her, as it was me. She nodded of course. The box recommended 2 for anyone over twelve, but I wanted results before the end of class…so I crushed up the entire box of 8.

The classmate’s sitting around us, clued onto what I was doing and all started quietly snickering with anticipation. I mixed them through the batter. When Shaun came back, he abruptly yanked the bowl out of my hands and tossed in a pack of almond slithers. “I’ll take it from here!” His continued snarky behaviour was the confirmation Penny needed, that she had made the right choice in giving me the nod.

We thought we would have to wait until that chocolate mud cake had been baked for the entertainment. Until Shaun started eating the cake batter by the spoonful, as he stated that it was his favourite part. He then continued that he now didn’t have to bother baking it, on account of Penny not being able to have any.

Disgusted and amused the class quietly watched on. He was a ticking time bomb now.

Mr Willow marched over to tell him off. But it was too late. He’d pretty much eaten the entire bowl of cake batter. “Shaun, what the bloody hell are you doing now?!”

“It’s fine Sir! Penny can’t eat nuts and the new chick doesn’t want any, do ya?” He smugly said as he ran his finger around the edge of the bowl, scooping out the last of the mixture.

“Nah Shaun. That cake was especially for you.” I said with as equally smug grin, as I popped the empty laxative box up onto the table next to the bowl.

“What the…” Shaun can’t finish his sentiment, as he realises that the feeling in his stomach is quickly working its way down. His face goes pale and starts to sweat. “Sir?”

“You can be excused Shaun” Mr Willow say’s, trying not to smile.

Almost instantly Shaun’s stomach let’s out a loud painful sounding rumble. As he goes to run out of the class, he lets out a clearly unintentional sound from behind. A sound that is definitely something more than just gas. He stops in his tracks, realising he has just made the school gossip headlines for all the wrong reasons. He tries to slowly continue walking, as to pretend it didn’t just happen.

That’s when, one of the kid’s in the front row yells out, “There goes ‘Shit’s-himself-Shaun’!”

The whole class burst out in a roar of laughter for what feels like 5 minutes. Even Mr Willow has to gather himself before addressing the students.

The room finally settles. Mr Willow smiles at me as he writes up a detention slip and says, “Now I’m sure you realise that I have to give you detention for this Hannah.”

“Yes Mr Willow”, I acknowledge with a chuckle. “I did it too!” Penny pipes up, even to her surprise.

Mr Willow, knows she didn’t do anything. But he writes her up a detention slip anyway. It wasn’t that long ago that he was trying to impress a girl he liked too. Penny is a good student, she deserves a win today, he thought. He smiles at us both and says, “Alrighty then, off to detention you go!”. The class begins clapping and cheering as we gather up our bags and walk out of the class.

We get to the detention classroom and hand over our slips. As we’re sitting down, Penny pulls out a lunch container from her bag and pop’s it on the table between us. As she open’s it, she say’s, “I’ve got the perfect desert for a first date…”.

I’m so surprised and excited that she’s made the first move. That I find myself suddenly the quiet blushing type. Until I look down into the lunchbox and see amongst the usual lunch foods…a large slice of chocolate cake.