Here

Here I am… waiting for you, as I promise.

Coffee in hand, macaroons already spent. Observing, longing, hoping, imagining…

Are you coming?

Do you even know I’m here? Do you even know how to look for me?

Strangers come and go. They mostly ignore me or walk around me if I’m in the way.

I am hoping, dreaming, observing.

Your voice, which I’ve never actually heard, echoes in my mind.

You say you love me, and I tremble all over knowing it’s true.

I expect to see you any minute…

Have I come too early?

Maybe I am too late?

Are you ready for me?

Are you seeking me the same way I’m seeking you?

Am I ready for you?

I thought I was but maybe I am not. Seeking so closely might have scared you away.

Coffee is about to run out as the air is delightfully cool. Spring is most definitely here.

I keep looking at people’s faces closely and then some more when somebody looks remotely like you.

But do I even know how you look like?

Do you?

Have you imagined me at all?

I’m still here…

Waiting.

Hoping.

Knowing.

You’re about to burst into my life to open the doors of my heart wide open.

I know you’ll make it to me. I just know.

I see other couples and imagine how we will look together.

Hand in hand. Heart to Heart.

My coffee is gone but my hope remains.

A deeper knowing that I will be at the right place at the right time and so will you.

I am here. Feeling my feelings for you.

Am I about to meet you? Are we about to be?

OR

Do we need to prepare ourselves separately a little bit more?

A little bit longer?

I do have the certainty that we are meant to be.

I feel like I know you already.

Your smile.

Your laugh.

Your smell.

Your touch.

Your voice.

Your words.

Your heart.

As if life has brought us together before bringing us together.

It might not make sense for others, but I know it makes sense to me and it must make sense to you too.

Keep getting closer, babe. Keep getting closer to me. Keep loving me the way you do until we meet.

Thank you for loving me and letting me love you.

We will catch up.

I promise.

Sometimes, I fear crossing the street on the wrong side or going from a place too soon or too late or going to the wrong place or taking the wrong route back somewhere.

But then…

I remember that fate, destiny, life, Universe, or whatever you want to call it, will bring us together.

Fear is no longer my constant companion. Fear is a long, almost lost, idea inside my head.

Hope is a new feeling. Knowing is a new companion. Trusting is a new constant.

I know. Period.

But, do I?

It’s been over four years since the epiphany.

Since I saw what we could be. Since I knew you were meant for me. Since I saw for the first time the way you could and will look at me…

And me at you.

Since I felt more complete, more treasured, more loved, more cherished…. just happier.

Why do I have some little doubt still?

Because, again, fear tries to creep in and make me doubt that what I saw was real.

Because when I feel uncertainty that now, today, is the day, it seems to slip through my fingers.

I’ve said and believed that I want life to surprise and delight me with how, when, and where, we are to come together.

I trust it.

But time feels like is running so slow, crawling in my 3D.

I want you now.

I want you yesterday.

I want you already.

I just trust we are both improving ourselves for when we meet there will be no drama, no doubts, no resistance, just love and connection.

I trust, but…

Do I?

I do. I promise.