Her Special Place

She climbs into the stacks in the old barn, hidden from the world. Alone at last. People don’t bother her, not normally, that is. But today she’s had enough. Today she needs a break.

She’s been kept captive by the city for far too long, pretending to be something she’s not entirely sure she is. But she wants to be. It’s been her dream to power through her career, enjoy the city lights at night, and experience the culture she often heard about growing up.

The truth is revealed today, though. There was nothing in particular that set her in motion, ready to slow down. A normal day at the office. No fires to put out, no bickering amongst her colleagues. Truthfully, everything went well. The presentation she’d worked so hard to prepare was a hit. She had been nervous she’d stumble through parts of her speech, but she didn’t. Her boss was impressed and offered her the promotion she’s been gunning for. This was it. She was finally making it.

And yet, something was missing. Attempting to discover what, she returned to her tiny apartment, and sat in silence, searching for the answer. When it didn’t come, she got into her car and began driving. To where, she didn’t know.

Now she does. She was coming here. She was always coming here. Home, at last.

She knows this place better than any other. The place she spent every morning and every evening after school while growing up. Tending to chores, taking care of animals, hauling hay. Now, it seems quieter than she remembers. Only the occasional whinny from the horses in the new barn just a stone’s throw away.

Back when she was a child this barn held everything. Now though, it’s age is felt in the abandonment of all but the storage of hay.

Her father had told her when the new barn was built, “The old barn isn’t safe anymore. Not like it once was. And the animals get too cold in the winter. It’s time for something better. Something new.”

But to her, this old barn is perfect. It has a history only the wood that holds it together can know. Her love for this place is strong, almost as strong as her love for Nathan. But she’s certain he’ll no longer welcome her with open arms—not like this barn, her barn.

Still, this place holds many memories. Her first kiss, with Nathan, one summer when he was helping her with hauling hay. Work only teenagers will do for such little money in hopes of a savings that will get them out of their small existence when they reach adulthood. A savings that meant everything to her, and little to him. His family had a plan for him. They both knew it, but they pretended it wasn’t there.

The old barn was the place they came on prom night, when so many others found a hotel in the next town over. Her parents would never allow such unsupervised events. But what they didn’t know, couldn’t hurt them. And Nathan vowed to never tell. To this day, she’s certain he never has.

For four years the two were attached at the hip. Both their families thought they’d end up together. The farmer’s daughter and the small-town mayor’s son. They were a perfect pair, complimenting one another far more than anyone else could.

He didn’t have to spend time with her at her farm, in this old barn, as much as he did. His family had a nice house in town where they very easily could have spent their time. But he liked her secret hiding place, and he came to think of it as his own, too.

When it came time, she took her savings from her quaint earnings and prepared to leave in search of her big city dreams. She didn’t mean to hurt him, didn’t mean to break his heart, but she did. He was to go to college at his parent’s Alma Mater. She couldn’t follow him. It wasn’t her destiny, nor could her parents ever afford such frivolities. Or so, she thought. Because not long after she left, they built the new barn. A college savings she never had.

Her heart aches now, as she realizes something she wishes she’d known all along. Her dreams of the big city reflected her desire to grow and become something other than the farmer’s daughter. Now she knows she could have done that here. She could have stayed here with her special hiding place, her favorite place ever. And she could have avoided leaving Nathan. Her dream didn’t have to be one or the other. But now it’s too late.

A creak from the old barn door is stifled by the bails of hay, and light peers in through the crack. She sits quietly atop the haystacks, not ready to speak to her father. Not yet. She’ll come up to the house when it’s suppertime, but if she can be quiet, perhaps he’ll think she’s not here and leave her with the silence.

“Audrey, are you here?” It’s not her father.

She sits silently, uncertain whether she’s heard the voice right, or if her mind is playing tricks on her. Still, her heart pounds as hope rises up from her butterfly strewn stomach.

“Audrey, I saw you drive through town. And your car’s out front.” His voice is closer now, and the crunch of hay tells her he’s climbing up to her location.

Only he’d know where to look, in a vast pile of hay that fills the barn. The spot that remains hidden from the world, reserved for only them.

A tear slips down her cheek as his face appears over the mound. His eyes meet hers, and he can see the deep sadness in her soul. A feeling he knows too well.

“I’m sorry.” She says to him. No context is needed. Even after all this time he knows her, sees her, and their hearts speak in silence. An acknowledgement of what she should have known all along.

He’s always loved her, and always will. They belong together. It doesn’t matter the time spent apart. Her departure only a strengthening of his feelings for her, and hers for him. The truth of distance making the heart grow fonder is reflected between them—they both know it now.

The words don’t have to be spoken out loud, but she does anyway. “I love you.”

“I will always love you.” He scoops her up in his arms and they hold the embrace for a long time, finally releasing their grasp to allow their lips to meet.

“I’ve been gone far too long,” she says.

“Yet, I would wait forever.”

They stay together, in their hiding space of the old barn until the daylight slips away. Catching up on things they’ve missed, learning the new pieces of each other that time has granted.

“We could stay here tonight,” she whispers, hoping he’ll say yes.

“We could stay here forever.” His words like honey, smooth and sweet.

“Wherever you are, I’ll be. I’ll never leave you again.”

The old barn brought them together in the beginning and stood the test of time to unite them again. Their secret place, the peaceful home where their hearts will always meet.

She’s glad she returned today. No longer incomplete.