Her prized possession

Chad changed Pam forever; things were never the same again after him. He and Pam met in the tenth grade. His family immigrated to Queens from Nigeria, she thought everything about him was intriguing, his real name was Chidi Ebere but everyone called him Chad. His accent captivated her, his ideas and tales of his homeland capturer her imagination. The time they spent together awakened her longing for 'home'.

The two had math, history, and art class together. He was slender; his thick eyebrow framed his handsome face and accented his penetrating stare. Pam thought Chad was smart and assertive, the other children did not feel the same; they made fun of the way he spoke and his style of dress. His parents were traditional and didn't believe in spoiling children, they had no qualms about sending him to school in off brands and no-name sneakers.

Chad's family was very involved in his school career. His parents, namely his mother had already declared that he would become a medical doctor in America. Even more bizarre, Chad told Pam that at the age of one his parents arranged his engagement to a girl from his village named Nneka. He assured Pam that he did not share his family's desire to really marry Nneka and that he wanted to eventually pick his own bride. Pam thought that was weird but that didn't stop the relationship that ensued.

The two became almost inseparable; they studied together, wrote poetry together and hung out often. Pam was born in January, and he was born in April of the same year. She often teased him of being his elder and that he should respect her. They friendship was strictly platonic; both were young and virgins.

In the spring of sophomore year Chad's mother told him he needed to add some athletics to his curriculum, so he chose running.

"Pam," he said inquisitively while taking a bite of his beef patty.

They had stopped at the nearby patty shop to grab a bite after school.

"Yes Chi Chi," she responded wondering what interesting fact he wanted to throw her way now.

"What do you think about me trying out for track and field?"

"I didn't know you ran or even liked running for that matter?" she responded confused.

"Well, I do run, for your info," he responded jestingly.

"As long as you don't run away from me, I think we should be fine," she returned the banter.

The next week Chad tried out for the team; he was selected after three rounds of cuts to join the boys 4 x 100 relay. In addition to his schoolwork practice began to make demands on his time. He started hanging out more with the guys from the track team during lunch and after school.

Pam noticed the change in him; he became more aggressive, impatient and secretive about his whereabouts. Chad started speaking differently, trying to hide his accent and walk like the homeboys from around the way. Pam was troubled by this, but she didn't want to lose his friendship, so she never made a big deal about all the changes he was making.

One day Chad and his new homies were at track practice when one boy who always seemed to stir up trouble started poking fun at him.

Rodney had a rep with the young ladies and was known for being a playa. They had just finished cooling down their muscles after an intense workout; the guys were stretching and putting back on their sweats when Rodney blurted out in front of everyone.

"Chad, I see you and Pam kind of close," he motioned while flashing a troublesome smirk.

"Did you get some of that yet?" Rodney inquired while using his hands to draw the shape of Pam's behind in the air.

Chad was shocked by his forwardness and almost choked on the sports aide he was drinking; the suggestion was embarrassing but he tried to keep his cool.

"Get some?" his voice cracked spiking in a high-pitched tone.

Chad surveyed the faces of all the boys who surrounded him, they eagerly anticipated his answer. He thought long and hard before answering Rodney, the boys hung on his every movement. He wanted to be down with the fellows, but no one told him the Pam was going to be the topic of conversation. He was finally at the threshold of male bonding; he wanted to be cool so badly, the approval of these boys meant a lot, but not Pam. He brooded over his response for what seemed like an eternity, the other boys held their breath waiting for his response.

Rodney grew agitated with the silence and repeated the question louder this time.

"Chad did you and Pam get busy or nah?!"

Chad stood up from his crouched position on the ground; he stretched his hands over his head and finally broke his silence with a smirk.

"Come on you know how we do, where I come from, we lay it down," he boasted in a forced American accent while gyrating his hips.

His answer sent the crowd into an uproar; boys were giving him high-fives and slaps on the back. At first, he smiled and cheered and then as he turned to make his way towards the locker room, a burning sensation swelled in his chest. His smile slowly melted into a frown, he waved to the guys and questioned if he had said the right thing.

Now he had two problems see, there was a bully at school named Charles Broad back and he had a crew of hoodlums who picked on almost everyone. Chad was having some trouble with them, and he needed a crew to have his back. The friends he made at track practice would be a perfect crew if only he was accepted as one of them; he had to tell them what they wanted to hear.

Chad reasoned that he had to sacrifice his friendship with Pam on the altar of male bravado. His little lies would return to haunt him more than ever. A few weeks later Pam caught up with him demanding to know what was happening between them and why.

The next day after school they decided to meet at her place, they knew her mom would at work, and they would have the place to themselves.

"Chi Chi, what's wrong?"

Chad paced the floor trying to find a way to say what was on his mind. He finally stopped in front of her sat down on the coffee table and said, "Pamela, I like you and I know you like me."

He never calls me Pamela unless it's serious she pondered.

"Yes, Chi Chi we are friends, I like you as my friend."

Pam was uneasy with the direction of the conversation; Chad's nervous energy filled the room. Pam sat on the rose-colored leather sofa looking straight into his eyes, into his soul and hoping to read his intentions. He got up and started pacing again.

"I can't, I mean, I won't know we can", Pam we are friends right." He said finally throwing open his hands towards the patio door.

"Chad, what's wrong with you?" she urged while pleading with her eyes.

"Why have you been avoiding me, we haven't hung out in weeks, ever since you started running track and hanging with Rodney and them." She pouted kicking his gym bag.

"Pam, things have changed, and we can't keep hanging out, unless..."

Chad paused, the oxygen in the room seemed to instantly evaporate. Pam gasped for air and braced herself in anticipation. A million thoughts came crashing in on the shores of her mind, Chad was her only real friend and whatever was on the other side of the or else could possibly ruin their relationship.

"The only way we can hang out is if," he stuttered.

"If what," she pressed impatiently growing tired of playing charades.

"Just say what is on your mind Chad," she insisted.

He continued fumbling sounding like a toddler asking for a lollipop before dinner.

"If we, well you know," he said making his way back to where she was sitting.

"No Chad I don't know, just tell me." She demanded.

"If we can well you know," he motioned a sexual act in a school boyish manner.

Her eyes enlarged in disbelief, is he serious?

"Pam, I want to get closer to you," he finally admitted.

"We can't keep hanging out as friends, you and I both know that we want more." He added with confidence.

Pam was dumbfounded, what was he talking about? Their relationship was pure, they were only fifteen and when did Chad become interested in her body?

Pam was drifting a pool of confusion; Chad took her silence as consent.

At that moment he slowly pulled her off the rose-colored leather sofa. There they stood in the middle of Pam's mother's living room within inches of each other, heartbeats synching to one rhythm. He awkwardly pulled her by the waist, pushing his pelvis up against hers and whispered softly in her ear, "Pam."

She began to feel a tingling sensation rising from below her navel, she tried to pull away, but his grip was more powerful than hers. He felt her uneasiness; he took one hand off her waist and used it to caress her face.

"Look at me Pam," he beckoned her.

Pam looked away, gazing out the window in disbelief. This was all happening so fast she couldn't find any words to say.

"Pam, I need more of you," Chad said, gently turning her face towards his.

She felt the warmth of his body, the sweetness of his breath as he pressed his full lips up against hers. These new sensations swept her away; Pam was no match for the tidal wave of biochemistry that existed between them. She melted into his arms, overcome by the undercurrent of love.

Secretly she long desired for someone to say, I love you, someone to show her they cared. That day they did nothing but lay on the sofa fully clothed, simply embracing one another in the stillness of the night. The beats of their hearts synchronized into one.

The sound of the ringing telephone cut through the stillness. Pam sleepily answered the call. Chad was still there they had fallen asleep on the sofa, and he could hear a man's voice on the other end.

"Oh, hey Dad," she said in an unenthused manner.

"Is your mom home?" he asked.

"Nope," Pam said picking her nails.

"How are things Pamie, remember I always told you if you need anything to let me now." he prompted.

He was full of formalities; Pam learned that quickly as a young girl. I am going to take you here or take you there he would promise, she would wait and wait, and he wouldn't show. Whenever she asked about it, he would come up with every excuse in the book.

"Pam," he called, "you still there?"

"I'm good, just sleepy," she said while yawning.

"As always," he replied sarcastically.

"Make sure you lock up."

"Ok, Bye Dad," she whispered.

Jake's wellness calls were more of a nuisance than anything. It was really bothersome to Pam that her father pretended to care so much when it was clear he didn't. He lived quite comfortably on the hill with his wife and children while she and mom had to live in a urinal for a building. Whenever she asked her mother about the situation between the two, she would just roll her eyes and mumble something about it being complicated.

She always wondered what happened between and mom and dad and if it weren't for Aunt Daisy she would still be in the dark. Daisy told her many years ago that her mother had an affair with a married man. Jake was sixteen years older than Pam's mother at the time of their 'fling' as auntie called it. Jake was going through marital issues with his wife Nancy, as the story goes, they were so-called 'separated' hooked up with Denise. Pam's mother, Denise, was a twenty-two-year-old college graduate, a pretty young woman with the world at her feet. Denise was less demanding back then and the story goes that Jake called himself 'falling in love' with her.

The two had a 'live in' relationship unbeknownst to Denise's parents or Jake's wife Nancy. He moved out of the house and got an apartment with Denise. This was around the time that Pam was conceived. Their relationship only lasted for fifteen and a half months; seven months after Pam was born Jake decided that he couldn't do it anymore. In a sudden stroke of conscience, he declared one day, out of the clear blue, that "his wife and five children needed him more."

Just like that, it was over. Denise was on her own at twenty-three years old with a toddler to take care. It all happened so fast. A few months after he left Denise got evicted from their apartment. Denise and the baby ended up applying for welfare and food stamps; she was devastated and felt isolated from her family.

Aunt Daisy went on to explain that after that they moved from place to place until Denise found the apartment at Greenfield Towers. Denise worked her way off welfare, finished school and became a nurse. After Jake she lost her free spirit and became a work-a-holic and.

Pam gazed at the walk clock; it was getting late. She walked over and tapped Chad on the bottom of his sockless foot. Chad never, I mean never liked to wear socks. No matter how cold it was he would say, "where I come from, we didn't were socks, I don't like them they suffocate my feet." His sockless foot wiggled a bit, but he didn't stir much after that.

"Chad get up," she whispered.

He wasn't really sleeping he had heard the entire conversation with Pam and her father and waited for her to return to him in hopes of, well you know them getting closer.

"Chad it's getting late you have to go now; your parents will start looking for you," she exclaimed.

Chad's parents required good grades, house chores a part-time job and a positive attitude; in exchange, they gave him a little bit of freedom. Chad didn't have many friends, but he did have a lenient 10 o'clock curfew.

"What time is it he asked," feigning sleep.

"9:45"

He jumped up hurriedly gathering his things. Pam stood leaning against the sofa watching as he scrambled to get his things together. Her mind was heavy with what he proposed that day.

"Ok, I'm ready," he announced.

Pam walked him to the door, he felt that his best friend was bothered but he didn't have the time to talk. On his way out he turned back, leaned against the doorpost and gazed affectionately into her eyes. The thoughts of what he had said were pasted on the walls of her mind, things were different now, and she was uncomfortable. Pam closed her eyes to hide the nakedness of her thoughts.

He looked at his watch and broke the moment abruptly.

"Think about what I said." He awkwardly pulled her close and hugged her; every muscle in Pam body was stiff. She simply threw her reply behind him as he ran down the hallway, "ok."

A cocktail of emotions stirred inside Pam was confused yet intoxicated by the sensations she now felt for Chad. His 'proposition' made her tispey. Pam poured over everything that he said to her. She obsessed over their relationship, how much he meant to her and the tough decision she had to make. In the wee hours of the night, she tossed and turned, waking up before the alarm and before her mother pushed the key in the door.

I am not prepared to lose Chad, he is the only person that actually makes me feel wanted or even loved.

Things were noticeably strained between them for the next few weeks. He occasionally stopped by but did not stay long. Their conversations grew shorter and shorter, neither having anything new to say. Chad had formed a singular thought now and nothing else mattered. There was no one that she felt she could turn to. Pam was an only child for her mother. Her aunt Daisy was the only one willing to share intimate details about life with her, but she had her own problems.

Daisy was Denise's baby sister, the proud mother of seven children with three different baby fathers. She often quarreled with the first two men about not supporting and or being there for her children. The last baby's father was currently in jail for shoplifting pampers and formula. She gave him credit for at least trying, so she vowed to wait and be faithful to him. You had to be mindful when visiting Aunt Daisy's, depending on the day you might be drafted in as her stars witness for one of her many kangaroo court debates.

Aunt Daisy's cramped three-bedroom apartment was always filled with hungry babies, and women stopping by to buy bootleg purses and perfume. Her life was full of drama, she was Pam's own little ghetto Soap Opera. After thinking about her options Pam decided that she wasn't up for the 'rah-rah' or for her mother finding out about Chad, so she kept it to herself.

Spring break and Valley High had a two-week recess. Pam had no special plans and neither did Chad. Pam's mother was rarely home; she and Chad had the place all to themselves. Pam contemplated if this would be the time that she would agree to Chad's proposition. Over the next few days like clockwork, he came and went. They ate, watched TV, and listened to music and then nothing. The tension between them grew, words had become taboo there was only one thing Chad wanted to hear. He silently pressured her until her unwilling mind produced the gems she had hidden deep with. He was the miner and she the gold.

She was not ready, but time melted away like the butter on the warmed toast she served him that morning for breakfast. They 'played house' for the past week and now over mint tea, Orange Juice and wheat toast, Chad was ready to cash in on his investment. He needed this; he envisioned and declared it to be so, all he needed now was for it to happen.

"Pam," he whispered her name softly while breaking off a piece of toast.

"Yes Chi Chi," she answered hesitantly.

"Are you ready now?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

Pam had just raised the glass of O J to take a sip, his words fell like the first drop of summer rain, flooding her heart and breaking her will. Pam knew she wasn't a 'fast, lose or a hoochie,' she never wanted to be that girl, but there was no one around to secure the borders of her virginity. Chad the friendly intruder had breached her gates and was about to enter her house making away with the best part of her. He is different, we are friends, and he won't hurt me she reasoned.

All morning they silently waltzed around the topic, the tension was mounting, pressure building and then, finally she broke.

She disappeared to her room and returned in her nightgown. Behind her back was a pillow. Chad's back was turned facing the TV, she crept up behind him yelling, "Pillow Fight."

She playfully hit him; he sprung from the sofa and began to play wrestle with her. He guessed this was her way of breaking the ice. He chased her around the living room, Pam jumped over chair dodged his advances, giggled and taunted him. This play riled him up, Chad pursued he came up from behind and threw her down on the sofa. All resistance fled at that moment, he eased his way on top of her and they kissed for the very first time.

"Pam," his eyes begged the question.

"Yes Chi Chi?" she answered reluctantly.

For weeks he had asked, pressured and cajoled but for some strange reason, he wasn't prepared for her to say yes. None the less he proceeded. They awkwardly engaged one another, she was in pain, she cried, and he wiped her tears. She bleeds, they both were afraid, he thought he had wounded her, he did. She cleaned herself up, he packed up his belongings and went home with her prize, and things were never the same.