He Said, She Said

“So, Freddy, your idea of building a nest is pulling bits of thread from this dock line?”

“Well, yes, it’s soft, strong and pretty too. I thought you’d be proud!”

“I’ll be proud when our nest is finished in time for me to drop my eggs! What’s taking so long?”

“Ummm, it’s a little tougher than I thought to pull these strands out. And the guy who owns the boat keeps swatting at me with his deck broom.”

“Then wouldn’t it be a good idea to MOVE ON to some easier material?”

“I did some calculations, and this material is the most durable.”

“Oh, you did some calculations, did you? Here’s a thought: use the intuition that’s literally built into your DNA and just do your job! Funny how your instincts were just fine during the breeding part of the process!”

“Hmmm, that is my favourite part. Stop scowling, let me explain the concept.”

“Does this concept end in me sitting on a nest in the very near future?”

“Yes, and here’s the genius part: we can reuse this nest multiple times, thus avoiding the need to build a new nest every breeding season.”

“I can guarantee you that you will not be participating in future breeding seasons if this nest is not ready for me to sit on in the next 24 hours!”

“Well, that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? I was trying to be forward-thinking. Besides, this nest building thing would go a lot faster if you would pick up a few scraps once in a while.”

“Are you kidding me right now? It’s our way. The male builds, the female sits!”

“Then let me build in peace and stop chirping at me. Oh damn, here comes the crazy boat guy with his deck broom again.”

“Nope, not on my watch boat guy! Stop shaking your broom at my mate! Target in range, excrement activated, fire!”

“Nice shot, Lola! Square in the face! I’m sorry for accusing you of not doing your part.”

“Thank you, I’ve been perfecting that particular maneuver for a while now. Besides, nobody hassles my Freddy, except me! Now get your beak back in there and pull out those strands!”

“Yes, my sweet Lola. The grumpy boat guy shouldn’t be back for a while.”

“I hope not, or I’ll have to add a little beak and claw action to my swoop and poop. I’m off to gorge on some gnats, a birdie mommy has to keep her stamina up.”

“Oh my goodness, Freddy, the nest is finished! It’s perfect. How did you get it done so fast?”

“Well, my dear, your targeted attack forced the crazy boat guy to surrender. Shortly after you flew away, he came out with fully frayed dock line bits in his hands. There was so much that George was able to build a nest for Ethyl, too! You girls will be sitting pretty now!”

“Thank you, Freddy, we do make an amazing team, don’t we? Ooooooh!”

“Lola! Are you okay?”

“It’s time, my lovebird. You know, there’s room enough for two in here, come give me a little cuddle, my fine-feathered engineer.”