He's Gone

He's gone. I didn't see it happen, but when the guys started yelling, I looked up and saw my brother on the ground. Mom always hated that he and I started working on a drilling rig. She said it was too dangerous. She wasn't wrong. Many things could go wrong and take your life in an instant. I just never expected it would happen to one of us.

When they gave me the news that Mason was gone, I felt like I was in a bad dream, waiting to wake up. It just didn't seem real. On top of that, I had to tell Claire, Mason's girlfriend. She didn't take the news well. She and my brother had been high school sweethearts. Middle school actually. They had the kind of love that lasts forever. That is, until one dies.

Claire had always been family to me. I felt the need to take care of her after Mason passed away. She didn't have any family around here, not like she talked to her family much anyway. I called her every day or went by her house. She hated calls, but she sucked it up just for me after Mason's accident.

Shortly after Mason passed, Claire went through a weird phase. I guess it was like temporary insanity. She kept insisting that Mason was still here. I was so worried about her. She got upset with me when I didn't believe her. She told me he had come back when she found the engagement ring he planned on giving her but never got a chance to. He was like a ghost, but real. She could touch him. She told me he came back, because she couldn't let him go, and he was attached to her ring. She claims she threw it into the river the night she ran away from me, because I didn't believe her. But I still see the ring on her finger.

She's better now. She doesn't see him anymore. I was afraid I was going to have to take her to a mental institution or something. I've been spending even more time with her to make sure she stays sane. Her grief was overpowering her.

It was Saturday, and I had a surprise for her. I'm taking her ice skating. She's never been before. I picked her up at noon. I took her to a quick lunch before we headed to the ice rink in town.

"We're going ice skating!?" She exclaimed when I pulled into the parking lot. The excitement on her face was priceless.

"Yep. I know you've been dying to come here."

The smile didn't leave her face the whole time we were getting ready, and as I helped her put her skates on. On the ice, she held onto me so she wouldn't fall. I had skated thousands of times as a kid. Not so much as of lately, but it was like riding a bike to me. It was so amusing watching her try to skate. Her feet wobbled as she tried to skate smoothly.

After a little while of slowly walking around, holding onto my arm, she wanted to try by herself. She let go of me and put one foot in front of the other. She pushed outward in a diagonal direction, and just as it looked like she was going to propel into the open rink, her feet slipped out from beneath her. Her arms started flapping like an airplane propeller. When she fell flat on her rear, I couldn't help but start laughing. And she laughed right along with me. I held my hands out to help her up. As soon as she was vertical, she slipped again, this time falling forward into my chest, knocking me backwards off my own feet. She fell right on top of me and continued to giggle. She couldn't stop. Her laugh was contagious, so I laughed with her.

I think it was at that moment that I knew. I realized I was starting to feel something stronger towards her. Her smile was gorgeous and stunning. I hadn't seen her really smile in a long time. And in that moment, she just couldn't stop herself. She was absolutely beautiful.

After skating, we went to the coffee shop. Claire wanted to warm up some. When we ordered our coffee, we sat down at small table.

"I had so much fun, Kyle. Thank you. Even though I'm sore from falling so many times."

"I think you were laying on the ice more than skating," I joked.

"Ha ha funny," she mocked while smiling. "My clothes are pretty wet."

"Are you cold? I can take you to go change if you want."

"I'm okay. I'm having too much fun to go home," she said.

She looked up at me and our eyes connected. I thought I saw something flash across them but in a split second, it was gone as she looked away. I took a sip of my coffee and willed myself to look away from her.

What am I thinking? I can't like her like that. She's my brother's girl. Deceased brother, my mind reminded me.

"Isn't that your dad?" Claire pulled me from my thoughts. I looked out the window towards the direction she was pointing. I was indeed my dad. We don't speak much. We never had a great relationship. Mason was always closer to him than I was. It always seemed he was disappointed in me for everything. I hadn't spoken to him since Mason's funeral.

"Yeah, it is." He crossed the road and aimed for the coffee shop we sat in. I watched him come inside and order his coffee. When he turned around, our eyes met. When he saw I was with Claire, he headed over to us. I could feel her eyes on me. She knew and understood that I didn't have a good relationship with my dad.

She turned toward my gaze. When she did, Dad reached our table and smiled. "Hi Claire, it's good to see you." He turned to me. "Kyle."

"Dad," I acknowledged.

His frown returned as he said, "Your mother told me you were still working on the oil rigs."

"Yes, I am." He never approved of me going to work with Mason in the oilfield. I'd finished one year of college, but over the summer, I worked with Mason and didn't want to leave. I enjoyed the work. And definitely the pay.

"That's a very stupid thing to do. You would think that after your brother was killed, you'd be smart enough to quit that job and make something better for yourself."

I didn't want to argue with him in front of Claire. She already looked uncomfortable sitting while he and I conversed. "I'm getting along just fine, Dad. There's nothing wrong with what I do"

He snorted and slightly shook his head at me. "Oilfield trash," he said lowly.

His comment pissed me off, and I clenched my fist that I had rested on my knee. As we stared at each other for a moment, anyone around could feel the temperature drop from our gazes.

"So, John, how's your dog recovering?" Claire intervened. Dad looked at her, his face softening.

"She's doing much better. The vet said her leg will heal just fine. After I told that neighbor of mine to watch where the hell he's going next time, or it will be him that's ran over I haven't heard a word out of him."

"I'm glad she's getting better." She looked at her watch. "Oh, Kyle, I need to get back home. I have a thing to get ready for."

I knew she didn't have a thing. "Ok, let's go." I stood up, and she followed suit.

"It was nice seeing you, John." She hugged my dad.

"Good to see you too, Claire. Don't be a stranger. Come on by sometime."

She smiled and nodded at him.

Once in the truck, I said, "Thanks."

"No problem. I could tell he was getting to you."

"He always manages to do that."

"I don't understand his problem with you," she muttered.

I shrugged. "I stopped trying to figure him out years ago."

We ended the night by watching a few scary movies at her house. The whole night, I was acutely aware of her presence. I caught myself observing her movements. The way her eyes danced across the tv screen as she watched the movie. The way her lips moved as she ate popcorn. How unaware she was that I was creepily staring at her.

Why did this have to happen to me? I could imagine my father's disappointment if he found out I was in love with my brother's girl. I shook the thought away. I didn't want to think about that. He didn't matter.

My thoughts went to the back of my mind when I saw her stand up to go to the bathroom. I watched her walk away from me. From her long, smooth legs all the way up to her shiny bouncy hair. She made me feel things I'd never felt before.

It was hard to keep a relationship working in the oilfield. Sometimes you could work hard for three weeks straight and not have time to spend with your significant other. Most girls don't like that. They need attention. Mason was lucky Claire loved him before he started working on the rigs. All the girls I tried to date ended up finding someone else. So, I stopped dating and just found benefits. But it was a lonely life to live.

When it was time for me to leave, we hugged like we always do. But this time it felt different. I was very aware of her scent. Like vanilla and coconut. Her warm breath on my neck. The feel of her arms wrapped around me. Her chest pressed against mine.

Lying in bed, all I could think about was Claire. I wondered if she had ever thought about me the way I'm thinking about her now. I definitely didn't want to ruin our friendship or the closeness we share. I didn't want things to be awkward for us. So, I decided to keep my feelings in check and to myself. I had to will myself to not think of her that way.

I had to go back to work Monday, and for two weeks straight, Claire made me a hot meal for me to go home to every night. Well, her house that is. The whole two weeks, I had thought of her more and more. I even almost convinced myself she feels something toward me too. I mean, why else would she go out of her way to cook me dinner every night? But then I had doubts. If she liked me, it would be obvious, right?

It was Friday night, and I had scheduled for Claire and I to go to a painting session. The instructor showed you step by step how to paint the picture. The picture of the night was called Fall Covered Road. It was a road with trees on either side with red and orange leaves.

When we pulled up, Claire's eyes widened. "You know I have no artistic abilities, right?"

I laughed. "Neither do I. That's why this is gonna be fun."

We got out of my truck and went in. Inside, they offered wine. Which I was unaware of until we got there. I bought us a bottle, grabbed our supplies, and found us a seat in the back.

As I poured our glasses, Claire got all her stuff ready to start. "This should be interesting."

I laughed. "Yes, it should."

Halfway through the lesson, my trees look like something you would see in a scary movie with the way they looked jagged. My leaves were more like splotches than leaves. And my road didn't look anything like the teacher's. While his was smoothly blended, mine was just a block of gray. It looked horrible. Not to mention, I accidently knocked my paint tray into my lap so there was a mixture of red, orange, and brown on my shirt and jeans. Claire nearly spit wine out of her mouth when I did it, she was laughing so hard.

Although Claire didn't have much artistic skills, her painting was turning out pretty decent. Her hand was a lot steadier than mine. When we were done, she did a comparison of mine and hers.

"Wow, Kyle. You weren't lying. Yours looks like a fourth grader painted it," she said, giggling. I think the wine was getting to her a little.

"Shut up. It's not my fault I didn't get any artistic abilities when God created this masterpiece." I waved my hand down my body like it was on display.

"Oh! Now you're just full of it."

"I'll show you full of it," I said, teasingly, and I lifted my paint covered paint brush and swiped red across her nose.

She gasped, shocked that I did such a thing. "You're going to pay for that." She picked up her brush and tried to paint me with it, but I grabbed her hand and stopped her just before she could touch my cheek with it. We laughed and giggled as she struggled to overpower me which would never happen.

An older lady sitting in front of us, who had painted like she was a professional said, "Y'all are so cute. How long have you been together?"

Claire pulled her hand away. "Oh, we're not-"

At the same time, I was saying, "We're just friends."

The lady gave a smile and looked like she didn't believe us. "Oh. Mhm. Well, the two of you would go good together. Your children would be just beautiful."

I could see the red climb on Claire's cheeks. "Thanks," she said, smiling at the lady.

Thanks? She said thanks? For the first time, she didn't introduce herself as my brother's widow. Did she really take it as a compliment? Or was she just being nice to the lady. Man, I think about things too much...

When the lady turned back around to finish cleaning up her space, Claire looked at me. Her eyes were soft, yet amused, and she was still blushing. She looked away, and I turned back to clean up my stuff. Suddenly, I felt something cold and wet run across my cheek. I looked up and grinned. I turned my head to look at Claire, and there she stood with her paintbrush in her hand. There was brown paint on the end.

She had the biggest grin on her face. "Gotcha!"

We washed the paint off our skin at the sink area. However, I still needed to wash my paint covered clothes. "Your house or mine?" We always debated on whose house we were going to hang out at.

"Yours since you need to shower because of your clumsiness."

I chuckled.

When I got out of the shower, she had a movie picked on Netflix for us to watch. I was wearing just my pajama pants and no t-shirt. I usually wore one, but I was testing a theory. I sat on the small sofa beside Claire and propped my feet up on the coffee table.

"What'd you pick?"

"Um...that movie I was telling you about a few days ago." She seemed kind of nervous when she looked at me.

"The one where the cop turns bad and goes on a killing spree." I tried my best to act casual.

"Yeah, that one." She picked up the remote and started it.

As we began to watch, I could see her out of the corner of my eye in my peripheral vision. Her eyes kept cutting over to me. Just the thought gave me butterflies in my stomach like I was some schoolgirl with a crush. Neither one of us were actually paying attention to the movie. I could feel the tension between us like it was a heat wave.

When it got too much to bear, I spoke. "You want some popcorn?"

It appeared as though I pulled her from a trance. "Yeah, that sounds good."

I got up and headed to the kitchen. I watched the bag of popcorn spin in the microwave while listening to the kernels pop. The light in the microwave lit up a small area on the counter. All the lights were off except the one above the stove.

When I turned to grab a bowl to put popcorn in, Claire was standing right in front of me. I was startled. "Holy cow, Claire. You scared the hell out of me."

She chuckled. "Sorry. I was just coming to get more tea." She set her glass on the counter.

I pulled bowl out of the cabinet and dumped the popcorn in it as she made herself a glass of tea.

"Kyle?" Her voice was soft.

I turned to her. "Yeah?"

At first, she didn't say anything. I could see the war in her eyes as she debated on what to say. She walked closer to me. So close, I could smell her sweet, soothing scent that I craved so much.

Just as I thought she was about to speak, she reached her hand up behind my head and pulled me down. She connected her lips to mine, and I felt sparks explode inside me.

After the initial shock wore off, I hungrily kissed her back. I couldn't believe she wanted to kiss me as much as I did her. I wondered if she could feel my heart pumping out of my chest. After a brief, heated make out session, she finally pulled back.

She covered her mouth and had an embarrassed look on her face. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, it's okay," I said quickly. "You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you."

Her eyes softened. "Really?"

I nodded and smiled at her.

"We can't do this. Can we?" It was like she was literally asking me.

I shrugged. "Why not?"

"What about Mason?"

Her question concerned me. "Are you seeing him around again?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"No," she was quick to reply. "No. It's just..." She trailed off.

"Hey," I said and closed the gap between us. "It's okay. I understand if this is too uncomfortable for you."

She placed her hand on my chest and watched it rise and fall. I lightly ran my fingers across her hair, pushing a strand behind her ear.

She looked back up at me with those beautiful eyes. "Mason would want us to both be happy, right?"

I nodded. She seemed at war with herself, so I took matters into my own hands. Literally. I grabbed her face and pressed my lips against hers once again. The sparks within erupted again. I couldn't have been a happier man than I was at that moment in time.

I found out that we both fell in love with each other the very same day. Her feelings toward me started to change when I took her ice skating. But the fact that we'd know each other forever played a big role.

After losing Mason, I was lost. If it hadn't been for Claire, I don't know how I would have kept going. Sometimes I feel like having her is like having a piece of him with me. I know that sounds weird. I truly believe that wherever he is, he's rooting for us. It took a lot for me to accept that he's gone. But he will remain forever in my heart.

When we talked about marriage, we both decided that she would keep Mason's ring. I bought her a beautiful diamond filled band to accompany it. That way a piece of him was still with us always.

The big day came before we knew it. The day Claire became my wife. It took a while for Mom and Dad to adjust to our relationship. Her parents didn't really show much judgement. But I didn't care either way. I didn't know I could care about someone as much as her. I will forever remember staring into her gorgeous blue eyes while exchanging our vows.

For the honeymoon, we got on a flight to go to Riviera Maya, Mexico. I was sitting on the beach in the white sand, sun on my face, and my girl in my line of view while she walked across in the shallow water. I never thought the day would come. We were both truly happy. I took a sip of Jose Cuervo, compliments of the resort. Claire glanced over at me, catching me staring at her beauty. She smiled, and my heart warmed. Everything was perfect.

"Kyle..." I heard.

"Yeah?"

"I've called your name three times already," she said amusingly.

"Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking."

She walked over and sat down beside me. "About what?"

I looked deep into her eyes. "You."

I saw the blush rise on her cheeks as she smiled at me. I leaned over and pressed my lips against her. "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart."