Guardians and Angels | Chapter Two (Part 6)

“It’s just like wrestling” he whispered in my ear.

The softness of his voice, the smoothness of it, still makes me ache to this day.

Instead of following the orders of our audio masters, with their treble-wielding whips lashing, bellowing stark orders from the gargoyle radio, he softened his thrusts into a hip swirl & began rocking, guiding me with his motion, his arms now wrapped around me. He was hugging me like I was a pegasus, not a fake one on a carousel, but a real stallion, flying through the night, wings outstretched. I felt him constrict around me, pushing and pulling while his whisper sat inside my ear like a dewdrop. It was all so fast and all so slow. Awkward and melodic at once. Just like us.

“Dance, Christopher” he whispered as he felt me tense up. The softness of the request. The urge of the appeal. A longing we shouldn’t know yet.

Was that his…

I pulled away. I don’t know why. I was still shy at some point with him, and the rhythm of his body matching the sound in my ears was causing me to grow warm, my cheeks turning a bashful shade of rose.

“It’s NOT like wrestling at all” I responded, facing away from him, adjusting myself so he couldn’t see my arousal.

“Yes it is!" he smirked.

"Two people. One holding the other. One trying to win, the other... resisting”

why did he say it like that?

“What? Nobody is trying to win in dancing” I almost sneered.

He paused this time. The song suddenly over. The room quiet as if he somehow choreographed this scene for me.

Silence.

Specks of dust swirling like careening galaxies in the sunset beams which fell between us, solar lasers descending from space.

“Somebody is always trying to win, Christopher”

Pause.

“Well, wrestling is like fighting and dancing is like… it’s just, not like fighting”

“You don’t have to fight to win”

Again, he made me pause.

If only I could live the rest of my moments within the pauses between us, that would be my one wish. The sunbeams with the galaxies within them cage us together while we endlessly play his records and talk about “what they mean.”

“What?” I said.

“You don’t have to fight to win” he stared at me, unblinking.

Eye contact.

Tractor beams into my thoughts, talons around my heart.

“I have no idea what you are talking about” I said, not lying.

"Okay, watch. Pick out your favorite song, we will do one last dance, and then we will go… and you will win, got it”

Hmmm, he was up to something.

He knew my favorite song. He had a habit of coming up behind me and putting his ear close to mine, lifting the earpiece of my headphone just enough to catch what I was listening to, nodding, and then going back to his business. Music check completed. So nosey.

I walked over to his bed, grabbed the album, an attractive black man standing on the hood of a sleek black car, a bucket style hat, a hazy red and green fog all around him. I hit play on the gargoyle radio, knowing what was coming, closing my eyes.

Haunting synth chords echoed through the room, a slow steady thumping bass enveloping us underneath an aching echo.

Piiiiiiing. Ping, Ping

Ping. Ping.

Ping, Piiiiiiiiiiiiing

Behind me he approached. My magnet, pulling toward me like the moon tugging the tides. The mood of the room suddenly soft, melancholic. Beautiful chords standing guard all around us.

He turned me around, hands on my shoulders, my face looking downward. A small trail of soft hairs leading from his navel down to his waistband. The chords pinging, the bass drum thumping. As he lifted my chin with his finger I closed my eyes, looking upward, I let the sound caress me, preparing to look at him, but not quite yet. A mellow, smooth, reflective male voice of LL Cool J began to rap poetry around us, the texture of caramel over my senses.

"When I’m alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall

and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call

telling me I need a girl that’s sweet as a dove

for the first time in my life, I see I need love”

Piiiiiiing. Ping, Ping

Ping. Ping.

Ping, Piiiiiiiiiiiiing

With my eyes closed, fluttering under my lids, I smiled softly. The lyrics engulfing me audibly, matching the yearning of my young heart.