Guardians and Angels | Chapter One (Part 2)

His flesh was soft upon my flesh. I don’t think any part of my body was capable of movement at that moment but my heart. My eyes dare not open, the butterflies in my stomach froze into statues in a garden, and my lungs stretched taut like a parachute full of air, knowing if I let go of my breath I would fall into the unknown.

Don’t breathe… he’ll know you are awake.

My lungs soon grew more red than my cheeks and I needed to exhale. Do I pretend I’m asleep? Do I act like I’m waking up?

Exhaaaaaaaale

Deep inhale

Act like you are sleeping, you don’t know yet, he is just really nice, don’t fuck this up, omg I can’t believe this is happening, I hope I’m not being weird, is it me or is it him, I don’t know what to do, is this how it happens, I don’t know if this is true, omg I’m so fucking scared, this feels so good, I never want to move

He breathed in deeply… and hugged me closer. A little moan somewhere far back inside him echoed from his throat as he exhaled and squeezed a bit.

My ears were ringing. I don’t know if it was fear or excitement. I had felt the weight of his body a hundred times upon me in wrestling practice, roiling to remove it off mine, but this weight I hoped would never release; this soft embrace could hold me down, and I would never push back, I realized. Every gulp was a deafening sound.

Don’t swallow, don’t swallow

GULP!!

My heartbeats sounded like artillery falling a town away and getting ever closer. Steadily pounding. Growing. His breath was on my neck, sweet-smelling somehow. Faint whispers of watermelon gum and vanilla wafers… and something else. Something unique. An essence that was only him. A scent I imagine only a few people will know.

My leg was falling asleep underneath me and had grown numb. I could not lie motionless forever. Entropy arrived. Motion knocked. Do I roll over on my back and just lie there? Do I roll on my stomach and hide my boner

you know that’s the best and worst choice, so just do it... don’t do it... do it... don’t do it

I rolled toward him, meaning to roll onto my back, and as I did, like some choreographed wrestling move he never taught me, he rolled to his back and somehow pulled me toward him. Onto his chest my arm went, into his neck my face went, and for a moment I paused…. WTF was I doing? My leg swung up over his legs…

I cradled him in my arms in a way I don’t even think I knew how to do until that moment. My eyelids semi-shut, I was peeking through slits to see his chest in the moonlight. Neon-tinged light upon pecs reflecting the streetlights that told us when to come home a summer ago.

It must have been only a minute but it felt like an hour at least. I was suddenly aware of a ticking noise from his watch. Low, digital clicking. Its melodic cadence let me know time wasn’t frozen; in fact, it was running as fast as my thoughts were.

I heard him swallow

GULP!!

He was awake.

Okay, you are going to need to snap out of this right now, you are way outta control, you are literally hugging him and he can feel your boner if he shifts even the slightest, what the hell are you doing, what if he freaks out and what if he doesn’t want to be friends after and what if he tells everyone?

He shifted his hips and rolled a bit, his hip now on my boner.

CODE RED

It’s over, I’m a goner. Can’t hide it now

GULP!!

We were almost spooning but he wasn’t turned quite all the way away from me. I could tell he was also hard under his sweats as I quickly opened one eye. I slowly moved my hand down as I pretended to stretch a bit and shift, slid to the top of his underwear, my limit reached.

He put his hand on mine. Opened his eyes, moved it downward. I felt it. Hot like an anvil. Then he moved my hand away

“Maybe” he whispered into the night.

That Maybe (capital M) sat between us looking back and forth waiting for us for at least five minutes.

Maybe

In the distance, a low rumble approached. A huge truck with some kind of guitar solo trailing behind it.

His father was on his way home.