Goldy

Prologue

Hurrying up the street, she squinted against the glare from the bright sun overhead. Shading her eyes with one hand did little to combat the rays beating down on her and the small bundle she clutched in her arms. The sun seemed especially bright today. The day should be dark with ominous clouds closing in to drench her in rain or sleet making her shiver with dread at the task she was about to perform. Instead the sun was shining, birds were chirping. She had passed numerous houses with happy families out in their yards enjoying the nice weather; children shrieking in delight as they played catch or frolicked in the water spewing from garden hoses. Some people were even out washing their cars in the driveway, laughing or singing along to loud music blaring from their radios.

It all seemed wrong somehow. How can there be this much happiness in the world for others and none for her? No, she banished that thought as quickly as it came. She needed a clear head or else she would lose her nerve. That resolution took her beyond the rows of neat homes, across the street to the center of town. Hurrying past stores she had to dodge many people coming in and out, shopping, talking and laughing. The bundle shifted as her arms automatically adjusted, hands tucking in the blanket so no one could see. These perfect people with their perfect lives could never comprehend the desperation driving her to do this.

Soon enough she left the houses and shops behind and entered the main part of town. At last, her final steps brought her to the small building at the far corner of the town square. Now here was a far more fitting setting for her deeds today. The sun didn’t shine as bright, blocked as it was by the tall buildings leading up to this point. It almost seemed cloudy here as she approached the wide staircase leading up to tall double doors. She avoided reading the sign out front, in an effort to put off the knowledge of what she was about to do for just a few more precious minutes. Reaching out a trembling hand, she pushed the doorbell with one finger quickly returning it to the bundle in her other arm. The chime sounded quite cheery and again the sound seemed out of place.

Not long passed before the door was opened by a smiling older woman, whose smile faltered at seeing her. “Is it time already? “, she asked. “Never mind come on in.”

The woman started to enter then stopped. Instead she gently held out the bundle to the woman. “I can’t come in. There isn’t anything else to say.” For a long moment she thought the woman would refuse, but then she held out her arms to receive the bundle. Looking down she gently unfolded the blanket to reveal a beautiful baby girl with a head full of gold curls fast asleep. Her breath caught at the sight. What a beauty she thought. A small envelope tucked beneath the blanket had the name Goldwyn on the outside. “Goldwyn, is this her name” she began to ask looking up but was startled to see an empty doorway. Stepping out she glanced both ways up the street and didn’t see anyone.

With a sigh she took the bundle and the envelope inside and shut the door.

20 Years Later

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Ray’s voice broke at the end, helping to underscore his pain. I’d heard the question before. He’d been repeating the same question for the last two weeks ever since I’d ended our failed relationship.

“And, now you’re going to just ignore me I see. That’s very mature.”

I turned from the window with a sigh. I would so much rather have stayed home in Boston. I could have been studying right now, or relaxing at the park, or writing a new program. Hell, a lobotomy would be preferable to dealing with this. But this trip had been paid for 2 months ago, when I was still ignorant about Ray, our relationship and his infidelity. Then just two weeks ago I’d found out in a spectacular way all about his extra-curricular activities and promptly broke up with him. I never gave him a chance to explain. There was nothing he could say that would excuse what he’d done. But he hadn’t gotten the picture. Which was ironic considering the lovely pictures I’d seen of his infidelities on his cell. Me coming on this trip obviously had sent the wrong message. But it’s not like it was just the two of us alone here in England. Half the sophomore class was here along with us. You would think he would have gotten a clue once I changed my room so I could stay with Ebony instead of him. But no.

“I’m not doing anything to you. You did this to yourself. You chose to cheat on me. You chose to lie about it even after the evidence was staring us both in the face.” I looked at him and wondered what on earth I had ever saw in him. “I told you two weeks ago that it was over. I meant it. There’s nothing left for us to talk about. “

I think the lack of emotion in my voice rather than the words is what finally got through because he didn’t respond but simply turned and left the room. Ebony immediately came back in, telling me she hadn’t gone down to the dining room but had been waiting in the hall.

“You okay?”, she asked?

“I’m fine. I think maybe he’s finally got the message.”

“I doubt it. He’ll be back. And probably with a new tactic designed to win you back.” She shed her robe and proceeded into the bathroom to continue her morning routine, Ray having interrupted a few minutes ago to plead his case for the umpteenth time. “Breakfast as soon as I’m done okay?”

“Actually I’m not that hungry. I’m gonna go for a walk.” I waited for the inevitable response.

Ebony came quickly back into the room. “By yourself? Are you sure you’re okay?” Her warm brown eyes scanned my face looking I’m sure for the hurt and confusion I’d felt for the last two weeks. I smiled to reassure her.

“I’m fine. I promise. I just want some fresh air and some solitude. I won’t be gone long. Really.”

“Okay but take your phone and some water. And grab the compass out of my bag just in case. Remember the tour guide said the forest can be confusing and it’s easy to get lost.”

I nodded and tried to look sure of myself. She seemed to fall for it as she went back in the bathroom and shut the door. I turned quickly to find my backpack, stuffing a water bottle, a map labeled Forest of Dean and the aforementioned compass into it. Grabbing my jacket from where I’d thrown it the night before I hurried from the room. Luckily I didn’t encounter any more of my classmates on the way out of the Beechenhurst Lodge. Our guide had mentioned a famous Walking Trail that began right outside the lodge and it sounded like just the right medicine to get me out of this mood I was in.

Sure enough I encountered strategically placed signs right outside the front door that clearly marked the Walking Trail’s starting point. It was early enough that I didn’t see anyone else on the trail as I started out purposely not looking back at any of the lodge’s windows just in case someone I knew was watching. I wanted them to see a strength and purpose in my stride even as I felt weak and shaky on the inside. A walk is just what I needed. Birds were chirping and the sun was shining. I tried to recall some of the types of birds the tour guide had mentioned abounded in this forest. I this falcon was one of them. Oh well, I was never the outdoorsy type. I’m more at home sitting at my computer with a steady supply of cookies and soda to keep me fed and watered as I solved equations and debugged computer code. Which is why Ebony was so shocked when I said I was going for a walk. I don’t think she’d ever heard me utter that sentence in the two years we’d known each other. I smiled remembering the day we’d met.

It was the second day of orientation week at MIT and I was checking out the computer lab where I knew I would be spending most of my time and in walks this tall dark-skinned model who could have given Naomi Campbell a run for her money. She introduced herself as Ebony and it turned out she was there for the same reason I was. I took me two weeks to admit to her that my first impression upon viewing her modelesque physique and perfect beauty was to think she couldn’t possibly be attending MIT. I thought she was completely lost and was trying to find a photo shoot being done on campus or the try-outs for Americas Next Top Model. Luckily she laughed at my confession before leaning over her cup of coffee to finger a strand of my hair. As she curled her finger around a golden curl, she wiggled her eyebrows up and down. I would soon learn that the eyebrow wiggle was akin to Sherlock Holmes’s famous ‘Elementary’ comment used to indicate something anyone should be able to deduce. Ebony did this whenever she thought I was being silly and ignoring the obvious.

I should explain that I had been cursed with an abundance of hair the color of bright shiny gold. It was lustrous and curly and hung half way down my back. This combined with a heart-shaped face, green eyes and full lips meant that I was never taken seriously enough. It didn’t help that I never seemed to gain any weight on my svelte frame no matter what I ate. You might think it strange at my choice of words but my looks had been a curse all my life. I was always expected to be something that I’m not. Sure, I grew up in an orphanage, but I didn’t see myself as an abandoned child. The only thing I had of my mother is a heart shaped gold locket that didn’t open. But I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’ve always been strong willed, and self-sufficient.

As a little girl, other girls either hated me on sight or tried to make me play dress up or with their dolls. But even the friendly ones eventually grew to hate me once they learned I would rather read books and study than play with dolls. They inevitably felt I’d slighted them when in actuality it was their choice of activity I couldn’t abide. No one my age cared about computers and no girl I knew even liked math much less excelled at it. By the time I reached high school I’d resigned myself to not fitting in. The popular girls tried to include me until they realized I spent all my time in the computer lab after school. My teachers encouraged me to go out for cheerleading, but instead I joined the math league.

It wasn’t until I got to college that I stopped trying to brush out my curls and stopped wearing my hair in a pony-tail. I also stopped hiding my figure behind drab ill-fitting clothes and embraced my ‘beauty’ in all its glory. I figured that at MIT I would be surrounded by people who had the same interests as me, so I would no longer be judged by my looks. And then I promptly did the same thing to the first friend I’d made. I judged her unfairly the same as I’d been judged my whole life. But Ebony didn’t hold it against me. The more we talked the more we realized how much we had in common. We had been inseparable ever since. She was my first friend, my best friend. Till her, I hadn’t realized what I had been missing out on. In two years, we had shared our past with each other and discovered that beyond a love of computers and math we didn’t have that much in common. Ebony grew up the youngest of five kids in a wealthy and loving family. I’d met her family on holiday excursions to her home in LA and loved them almost as much as her. They had accepted me whole-heartedly.

I broke out of my musings, to find myself surrounded by trees. Looking up, I couldn’t even make out the sky due to the thick cover of branches and leaves. It seemed my feet had wondered even as my mind did. I looked behind me but couldn’t locate the trail at all. I started to be concerned but knew I couldn’t have gone that far. Maybe I should just retrace my steps and soon I was sure, I would rejoin the trail where I must have left it. That decided, I turned and starting walking back the way, I had come. There was something weird about the silence though. As I walked, I thought about it and realized I could hear the wind moving through the trees, and rustling in nearby bushes that must be a small animal. I could even hear chittering of unknown birds above me. But what was absent was the sounds of a city, sounds I had heard all my life; noise of cars driving by, people talking, phones ringing, even police sirens in the distance. None of that was here. All I heard was nature. It was weird and unnatural. It felt like I was the only person left in the world.

How ironic that I was in a beautiful land in the midst of a lovely forest and I thought it unnatural and was hurrying to get back to civilization as soon as I could. But I was city girl, no question. But now, I realized that I had been walking about 20 minutes back along this route and still hadn’t encountered the trail. How could that be I wondered? I couldn’t have been walking that long. I stopped again. There was no point in continuing on as I realized I was completely turned around and going in the wrong direction. Sitting down with my back against a tree, I pulled out my water bottle and took a drink. I wasn’t at all worried for I felt sure I wasn’t that far from the inn. I just needed to use my head. I was used to street signs and sidewalks. Here I was surrounded by trees and dirt and shrubbery. I figured I would take a few minutes to regain my bearings while I rested.

I leaned my head back against the tree and closed my eyes as I held my locket in one hand. Holding it usually made me feel better, but wasn’t working today. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was. The noise of the forest around me was actually quite soothing. I took a slow deep breath. And then another. Even the smells were different. No smell of car exhaust. Just the smell of pine and something else I couldn’t recognize. I took a few more deep breathes, trying to place the smell. With a gasp, I sat forward. I knew that smell. On a couple of trips home with Ebony I had been to a bonfire on the beach with her friends from high school. The smell of burning wood was very distinctive. That’s what I was smelling, wood smoke. It was still slightly different though which I assumed was due to the different wood that must be burning. I must be smelling the smoke coming from the chimney of the Lodge we were staying at. I got to my feet quickly. I knew I had to be close. Close enough to smell the chimney smoke, meant a few minutes of walking at least.

I lifted my head pulling in deep breathes slowly through my nose. I turned slowly trying to place the direction the smell was coming from. Once I was sure, I started walking briskly forward confident I would be back soon. Within a few minutes I spotted a break in the trees ahead of me. Hurrying my pace, I expected to soon see the familiar trail in front of me with a few signs interspersed low to the ground. Looking up I could see smoke curling up into the bright sky overhead. As I got to the space between the trees I had spotted, however, I was surprised to see a mountain. This couldn’t be possible. I started to reach for the pamphlet in my bag on the Forest of Dean. I don’t remember reading anything about a mountain. And I remember looking out the window when I was at the Lodge, and no mountains were visible in any direction. But then I noticed the smoke seemed to be coming from the mountain at the same time I saw an opening to the right. It looked like a deep dark hole; the kind no normal girl would ever venture into willingly. The sort of place that featured in every horror movie I’d ever seen that had been set in the woods. There was no way I was going in there.

I turned around intending to go back the way I’d come but something stopped me. The smoke. Why would there be chimney sort of smoke coming from a mountain. Chimney smoke meant someone was burning wood in there. Burning wood to keep warm or to cook, either choice meant civilization and possible help. It was painfully obvious I was hopelessly lost. My feet found themselves walking towards the opening in the rock almost before I had made up my mind. I walked slowly, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness within. I kept my right hand trailing the wall to keep my bearings. About 15 slow agonizing steps in the wall curved to right and about 20 steps later I was surprised to stumble into a room that was suddenly too bright for my eyes. I shaded my eyes for a few seconds then glanced again. I was in a large strange room.

The source of the light was the fire blazing in a very large fireplace. Larger than any I’d ever seen in my life. I think I’d read somewhere in a fairytale that a fireplace that large was actually called a hearth. It looked big enough to roast several large pigs end to end. Looking around I was astonished at everything I saw. It looked like a typical living room type area, except everything was a little too big. If I didn’t know better, I would think whoever lived here were giants. The couch looked as big as a queen-sized bed; with the two chairs looking wide enough for me to sleep in comfortably. The couch and chairs were arranged on a rug in front of the hearth. I stepped further in the room noticing a corridor to left that seemed to lead to more rooms.

“Hello”, I called softly. Unsure if I wanted someone to respond.

I walked past the couch, down the hallway that seemed carved out of the mountain. Here and there I noticed large pieces of wood lined up against the walls pushed tight against the ceiling. I realized they must be helping to hold the ceiling up. There were old fashioned torches blazing every few feet against the walls giving me ample light to see as I headed down the hall. I came to the first room on the right which looked like an old-fashioned dining room, again with everything just a little too large. Something was bothering me about this place besides the size of everything. I stood still staring trying to place it. I could see a large table with 3 chairs around it. Torches lined the walls in here too. Then I realized what it was. It wasn’t just the size of everything that made this place strange. It wasn’t even that it was carved out of a mountain either.

It was the lack of electricity. There were no plugs or outlets anywhere that I could see. There hadn’t been a television in the living room. The light all came from the huge fire in the hearth as well as the torches everywhere. Who could live with no electricity? I supposed I wouldn’t find a telephone in this place either, much less a computer. It was very strange.

“Is anybody here?” I spoke a little louder this time. “I’m sorry to intrude, but I got lost in the forest”. I left the room with the too large table and chairs and continued on my search for a living person who could help me.

The next room was obviously a bedroom. There were 2 huge beds in the room side by side covered in matching…blankets, was the only word I could use. I assumed they were blankets. They looked similar to the rug I saw in the first room. They were very realistic looking animal skins with the fur still on. It seemed somehow intruding so I didn’t take a step into the room to examine the blankets more closely to be sure. I continued on to what appeared to be the last room in the hallway. This one had a bed as well, thought much smaller than the other two. There was a rug on the floor here as well. There also seemed to be strange wooden things lying haphazardly all over the room. They looked like half-finished carvings of some sort.

I turned and looked back down the hallway straining to hear any sound but the crackling of the wood burning in the hearth. I heard nothing else, except the sound of my breathing. What is this place I wondered? Who on earth could choose to live here with no electricity? Why was everything so large? And where were they? I knew there had to be 3 of them because everything I had seen had come in triplicate. 3 seats in the main room, 3 chairs around the table; and 3 beds. Suddenly I realized that I was tired. I’d been tired for a long time really. Tired of fighting with Ray. Tired of pretending he hadn’t hurt me. Maybe it was good for me to disappear for the day. I knew Ebony would worry, but that couldn’t be helped. I hadn’t slept well the night before. I suddenly turned and looked at the bed. This one was larger than my own, but still considerable smaller than the other two monstrosities in the other room. I’ll just rest for a few minutes I thought. Surely the people who lived here would be back soon and then they would help me get back to the Lodge.

I hurried into the room and lay down on the bed. In moments, I was asleep.