Glenn Finneas

"There weren't always dragons in the valley" my grandfather lamented. When his dementia worsened, he lost touch with reality. He told these outrageous stories. At first we thought he was just passing the time, but we quickly realized that he believed every bit of it. It absolutely gutted me to see his mind decay like that. For him, a world where he's endangered by dragons, is the world he lives in. To him, this was reality.

It was all I could do not to cry. I held his hand and sat patiently with him hanging on every word. He had been talking a lot lately about a place he called The Valley. "We had our little safe haven tucked away from the world" he continued. In a defeated tone he added "When the dragon's came we lost our sanctuary." The genuine pain on his face was overwhelming. "I can't be too loud or they'll hear me." Tears welled up in my eyes. I knew in my heart that he was really deeply afraid. He covered his face as if he were ashamed, saying "If I weren't sick, if I were a young man again, I would have that dragon's head on my wall. I'm just not strong enough to fight anymore."

His therapist requested that we don't try to correct him. As long as he is not hurting himself or anyone else, then trying to break his delusion would cause more harm than good. We were instructed to "go along with it." So I gently engaged as if I believed it were true too.

"I'm so sorry you're hurting Paw Paw. Is there anything I can do to help?" With an unsettling urgency, he grabbed my hand tighter and begged, "You have to save us!"

Silence.

Once he said that, it felt like I took a breath in and never let it out. The desperation in his voice shook me to the depths of my core. He's stuck in his own personal hell and there is nothing I can do about it.

"I love you" I said with conviction. "And I want to help you in any way I can" I restrained myself from saying what I really wanted to, which was that this wasn't real, and he was torturing himself for nothing! Of course, I couldn't do that. I had to delicately phrase my responses. "I'm going to help you, ok? I want you to know that. But, um... What do I do if I can't find the dragons?" With no hesitation, he warned, "Then they will find you." An ominous era set in the room as chills broke out all over my body.

Knock knock knock! A stunning tall, dark, and beautiful woman in powder blue scrubs walked in. She held a small plastic cup in one hand and water in the other. "Hey Mr. Finn, you ready for your meds?" He became submissive to the medical industry in a way I had never seen him do before. Without a word, he opened his mouth to receive a colorful array of pills. Mr. "walk it off" is now complacent in taking a handful of mystery medicine. "Thank you, Nurse Becky" He said with a genuine smile. His spirit lifted the whole time she was in the room.

"Don't thank me yet Finny, we've got two more big pills until I can leave you alone." She spoke directly to him with respect. I always felt like it meant a lot to him to be talked to instead of about like he wasn't in the room. She treated him with dignity and I liked that.

It was quiet for a minute after she left. I waited for him to continue, but he was zoning out pretty badly. "Paw paw, do you feel ok?" He was startled a little bit. "Oh, yes" he grumbled. "I'm ok." It appeared that he was thinking of something dark, so I tried to distract him. "Is there anything good about the Valley?" I asked. He finally snapped fully out back into reality.

"Well, did I ever tell you about the amazon women?" he asked. I feared where this might be going. "Are those the ones who..ehem... keep you company through the night?" I shivered off that question as fast as I could get it out of my mouth. Fortunately, I was wrong. "Oh no. No no no no, the amazon women are a whole different breed of woman. They are the untouchables. Goddesses amongst men." It was a refreshing change of pace, so I went with it pretty enthusiastically. "Oh! No you didn't. I would love to hear about them!"

He spoke for a little bit longer about this group of women who inhabited the valley before he got there. "They welcomed us into their home and cared for us after we were war stricken and starving. They spoke the language of the beasts, so when the dragons came and the swords were not cutting it, it was the power of the tongue that saved us. They spoke on our behalf and made a secret arrangement with the dragons that held them off." He spoke so passionately that it was hard not to get immersed in his story. Even if I knew it wasn't true. "What was the arrangement?"

Thump! He bopped me on the head playfully and stared right into my eyes. "SECRET arrangement. We never found out." Guess I had that one coming. "But wait, you said it held them off, so why are you so afraid?" He peaked at the door and quietly he whispered, "because a dragon does not honor the code of men." He said it like he didn't want them to hear him. "You never know when one is going to spit burning embers on you. It stings when the fire hits the skin but the flares go out so quickly that it doesn't leave a mark." He held his arm tenderly and added "the amazon women don't know that the dragon's betrayed their deal."

"So why don't you just tell them what happened?" I asked. He took a deep breath and with a chilling depth he said "We've tried, but every time we tell one.... they disappear." I didn't know how to respond. I knew he was feeling something real so I feigned empathy. "that's terrible, I'm sorry to hear that." The visiting hours were about up and he kept drifting off so I tried to wrap things up. "You seem like you need to rest. I'm going to get going." Before I could stand up to leave, he grabbed my hand one more time. "Don't let the dragons see you" he said with intensity. I attempted a light hearted smile and a hug, but he maintained his serious expression. He looked deeper into my eyes this time. "We are all in danger."

I walked out with an unsettled feeling in my gut. Something about the way he looked at me when he said that struck deep down into me. I couldn't shake that last look. On the drive home a deeper sense of impending doom set in. It replayed in my head over and over. "We are all in danger"

When I pulled on to my street the smell of something burning slowly filed in. Then I pulled closer to my house. "Holy shit!" I screamed! The smell was from MY house! Smoke was billowing out from the back. I ran to the warm wooden door not realizing the handle would be hot. "Ouch!" the knob burned my hand. I wrapped my shirt around it and pushed the door open.

WHOOSH! Rolling fires raged inside. The pressure pushed against my chest, forcing cough after cough. I couldn't breathe. Bright flashes of red lights swooshed quickly down the street. Before I had time to process what was happening, a fireman grabbed me and pulled me out.

My white panels and blue shutters turned black in front of me. Nearly all of my belongs were now doused with water or dissolve to ash. How could this happen? I'm always so careful! I ran over every candle, device, and socket in my house in my head at nauseum trying to figure out what caused this fire! I wasn't in a place to think about what all I had lost or the massive to do list I now had because of this. I didn't think about the money to replace anything or where I would stay. I just sat on the curb ruminating over every possible cause.

My grandpa's warning suddenly struck me. Gasp! I pressed my hands to my face and took breath. He warned me. He explicitly told me that I was in danger and I brushed him off. Goose bumps covered my body. No way! I felt crazy for entertaining the thought but... what if?

Still freshly heartbroken over my house, I had to try to pull myself together. Fortunately, I was able to stay with my mom for as long as I needed. She lent me clothes and made me a nice meal. I could finally catch my breath and process the day. My mom and I chatted about movies and celebrity drama for a while but I had too much on my mind for that. When the conversation hit a lull, I filled the opening with what was really on my mind.

"Mom? Has Paw Paw ever mentioned anything weird in his stories to you?" HAhaha! She busted up laughing. "He always mentions something weird in his stories to me. His stories are something weird." She was quick to brush the whole thing off but I persisted. "Well, it's kind of weird because he was telling me this one about dragons" she glanced up at me with a twinge of judgment then back down to her embroidery. "This one is really kind of freaking me out, mom. I know this sounds crazy, okay? But, please don't look at me like that. I just have this really weird feeling about the one he was telling me today."

She set down her project and looked me straight on. With a massive sigh she said "Listen, I know it's hard watching your grandpa go through what he's going through and you have had a traumatic day. Let yourself rest. You already do so much for him. If he were in his right mind, he would not want you to be worrying like this. Okay? Let's sleep on it and if you still feel weird in the morning we'll talk about it then." To her, that was the end of that conversation. She went casually back to her crafts, hands washed of it, case closed. She was done. What she was saying made perfect sense in a logical way but I couldn't shake the nagging anxiety. It was awful. I HAD to get some rest.

I took my anxiety meds and within the hour I had passed out. The thoughts didn't stop in my sleep though. In my dreams I found myself in what felt like a vivid memory. It was a breezy day on a sandy corner of a wooded island. My feet were comfortable in the warm sand but from behind me I felt a strong hot wind. Subtle growls kissed my ears. The sand rumbled out from under my feet. Burning hot stones rose up from under the sand. I ran as fast as I could to escape into the cool water but when I got there, the water was boiling. Sailing in on a hospital bed/boat combo, my grandpa came to the shore and pulled me up to safety. The wood on the boat warped in the boiling water and the steam made it hard to see. My heart was racing. My hands were shaking uncontrollably, and I tried to scream but my vocal chords were paralyzed. That's where the nightmare ended. I was jolted awake by fear. My heart was beating so hard that I could hear it in my ears and sweat dripped down my neck.

The same day that my grandpa warns me about fire breathing dragons, my house burns down. I felt crazy but it was getting to me. For a wild moment I actually questioned my whole understanding of the world. My heart told me that I needed to investigate. I already knew mom was going to be a dead end so I lied and told her I was going to go talk to the insurance adjuster about my house. That's probably what I should have been doing but instead I went back to the nursing home to see what I could figure out.

I had no idea how to bring this up but it had to be to someone I trusted. "Hey guys, is nurse Becky working today? I wanted to ask her a few questions about my grandpa, Glenn" As soon as I asked the staff got awkward. They looked around at each other and then finally someone clued me in. "Ohh, um, becky doesn't work here any more." Another woman chimed in too. "Yeah, dude she got fired" My mouth gaped wide open. I was stunned. What could she possibly have done to get fired!? From what I could see she was an excellent worker, she was there all the time, always friendly, and it seemed like she was loved by all the residents. "I don't understand" They all looked around to make sure no one was listening. Nurse Terri, who I had also gotten along with okay in the past, said in a hushed tone "I don't know the full story but I got the impression from the doctor that she had been caught over drugging the residents to keep them subdued." My heart sank. You really can't trust anyone. Then an even worse realization occured to me. My grandpa was one of her patients! "So what about Glenn Finneas, did the doctor say if he was one of the one's being over drugged?" She shrugged her shoulders and said "that's all I know."

I walked down to my grandpa's room while trying to grapple with the news that someone I trusted was doing something so heinous. There's just no way. How could my judgment have been so off about her?

When I opened the door, there was a well dressed man bent down over my grandpa. Under his breath he mumbled something. He clearly thought he was alone. *Ehem.* I cleared my throat to alert him someone else had entered the room. He stood up straight so fast, the flash would have blushed. When he whipped his head around to see me I caught a glimpse of a dark expression right before he threw on the charm. "Hello!" He shouted, artificially. I peaked my head around to see my grandfather completely out. His mouth was wide open and skewed to the side a little. His arms dangled off the rails of the bed and his eye lids sat hovering just above the bottom lids. Not fully closed.

Quickly the man shuffled to block my view. "Sorry, I didn't see you. Are you related to Mr. Finnaes?" I kept trying to see behind him as subtly as possible but I wasn't having much luck. It was hard to focus and make normal conversation when I knew in my gut something wasn't right here. "Yes, umm, Yeah, sorry, hey is he ok?" He didn't even look back to check. Without hesitation he answered "Yes, he's resting, let's step outside. I don't want to disturb him."

We walked into the hall where I was able to get a better look. The bright florescent lights showed off his white coat and expensive shoes. This was clearly the doctor. "Sometimes the patients get hysterical." He must have known I was suspicious because the next few minutes was a long scripted response to a question I never asked. He wanted to get ahead of it. "They think they are back in the war or that the nurses are spies. Unfortunately we do sometimes have to sedate them when they are a danger to themselves or those around them." I have been visiting my grandpa in this home for years and never once saw him as out of it as he was just now. "And my grandpa was acting like that? Are you saying you had to sedate him" He side stepped the question with a dash of insincere empathy. "I know it's hard to think of our loved ones that way. Aging really is an awful affliction."

My heart sank deeper. On his name tag was printed "Dr. A. Gon" My hands shook as the dots started to connect. Before I could say anything, he caught me looking at his name tag. He rolled his eyes and said "It's actually Dr. Aaron Gonzales" With an annoyed sense of superiority he added, "The staff thought it would be funny to print it this way because it spells out Dragon."