Glass Half-Empty

"Alright, Mr. Glassphemy, is it?"

"Just Glassphemy."

"Alright, Glassphemy, thank you for meeting with the Rogues and Villains of Tomorrow Admissions Board."

"Thank you for having me."

"You're off to a bad start, Glassphemy."

"Excuse me?"

"And that'll be another deduction."

"What?!"

"Your powers are manipulation of glass, correct?"

"Yes."

"We were told you fixed the crack in the front door when you arrived."

"Well, I, you know, broken-windows theory. Wouldn't want the neighborhood going downhill."

"That's exactly what villains want, Glassphemy."

"Oh, well-"

"So you fixed the front door, deduction for helpfulness; you thanked us for having you, deduction for modesty; and then you used the phrase 'excuse me,' deduction for courteousness."

"Well, I think you'll find my strengths are in my activities."

"What do you do?"

"High-end robberies. One touch and woosh that glass is gone, and I can pinch anything underneath it."

"So smash and grab without the smash. Hmm."

"Hmm?"

"Hmm...How did you gain your abilities?"

"Vat accident at work."

"Glassphemy, we have so many of those applicants, are you sure it wasn't something else?"

"Oh no, it was definitely a vat accident. Worker's Comp confirmed it and all."

"The BWC agreed with your injury?"

"Yep!"

"Oh, no, no, no, Glassphemy that simply will not do. To be frank, Glassphemy, your application is just not strong enough. The applicant right before you causes cancer, the one after is making us go to him for the interview. Is there anything else you can think of that would make you in any way villainous?"

"I don't think I was ever in my grandma's prayers."

"The door is behind you, Glassphemy. I suggest you try some of the associations for heroes up town."