Future Tears

“Can I get you anything else dear?” Those soft words echoed as the small hand of the waitress reached towards my shoulder. As it came to rest there in a loving gesture, I was whisked away once again, to my dreams. A blur of images, pictures, and quick scenes flashed before me in my subconscious. So many wonderful memories from Anna, the old waitress. Her life was long and quaint, but full of life and laughter. It seemed like minutes before I caught up to the present and saw myself in a few scenes, sitting in this very booth, sharing hearty conversations and strawberry milkshakes with her. It was nice to see that I was a warm part of her long life. Swiftly I disappeared from the scenes and only a few more sweet memories of her long-time friend and pet, Betty the barn owl, drifted by before I reached the end. It seemed like a few minutes had passed while I was viewing this collage, but it had only been a moment and I could still hear the tail end of her question fading into the quiet background of the café. A single tear fell slowly from my right eye, pristine and beautiful. Full of color and life, shining so bright, and yet still reserved to a single tear. Mesmerizing to look at, if you knew how. I quickly looked away out the window, wiping the tear secretly while masking it by pretending to scratch my cheek. “I think I’m all set, thank you Anna!” I said as I turned and smiled back to the friendly face looking down at me. She nodded as she continued to smile and turned to head back toward the main counter against the back wall of the café.

Anna was one of my only close friends that I had. I was an orphan, although I don’t really call myself that. I was already 12 when my parents died and could pretty well take care of myself. I knew Anna from back when the tragedy took place. My parents were poor and I often helped my mom at her work at the laundry mat close to my childhood home. Anna regularly came in to do her laundry and I often helped her out. As I would help sort her laundry, she would tell me stories of her younger days and I would listen intently. When my parents died, I went to live with her in her small home and help around the house. The owner of the laundry mat let me take my mom’s place and continued to pay me a little money for the work I did. I had to drop out of school to help Anna pay for the new expenses of a growing twelve-year-old. I didn’t mind dropping out of school. I didn’t really have any friends anyway. I never invited anyone over because I was afraid of what they would think if they knew how poor I was. I’m pretty sure they figured it out anyway from the clothes I wore and the food I brought to school. I desperately wanted to have friends, but I was treated like an outcast. I wasn't from around here either so all the kids already knew each other from early on. But that didn’t matter after my parents died. I was more alone than ever but I had now a lot of responsibility. I had to help take care of Anna, and in turn, she took me in and helped raise me. She was so gentle and kind. Her husband had died just before my parents did so having me to keep her company at home helped her just as much as it did me. She was one of the only people I knew personally that knew about my gift.

My gift. I had a strange gift. I had always hated it when I was younger, but had grown to appreciate it more as I grew. I had the ability to see all the wonderful and sad memories of anybody in whom I came in contact with. If I touched someone, accidentally or purposely, I would go into this almost undetectable trance and I would be able to see all of their memories, both from the past, and future memories that they will have. Now it was basically a trance, but it was as if time slowed down for me as I saw the memories. Once they finished, I would kind of snap out of it and hardly a second of real time had passed. I could usually control what I could see, either good or bad, so I usually focused on the good memories. Sometimes if it was an accident, like if someone accidentally bumped into me on the bus, then I couldn’t really control it. Now I realized that it was almost undetectable, but there was a small tell. A tear forms every time I see people’s memories, but it is not just an ordinary tear. The tear contains all the memories that I see. That is why the tear is so beautiful to look at. After capturing the tears in vials and studying them for so long, I was able to create a way for others to see the memories. Although, it’s not as much as seeing them as it is, experiencing them. I can capture the memories in the tear and create a way to experience them and to feel the joy and happiness from them again the same way they experienced the memory in the first place, once they touch the tear. Using this, I was able to open a small shop from the little money I made from the laundry mat, and a little from aunt Anna, (it’s what I ended up calling her), and sell this experience. People could come in and I could touch them and see their memories and then capture the tear and give it to them so they can experience their memories.

It had been seven months since I had opened the shop and business was still slow. Not many people understood what I was selling which is understandable, but slowly, things were picking up. The past month had been twice as good as the previous month. Leaving my thoughts of the past, I came back to the present and looked down at my lunch. The sandwich I ordered looked quite good as usual. Grabbing it, I took a large bite, and set it back down as I looked out the window. Across the street sat my shop, small but lighting up the dull colored rest of the block. I was pretty proud of how far I’d come. I had my own shop now and was basically taking care of Anna instead of her me. I had in my possession more things that I had ever owned in my life. I think more than what my parents had too. Things were looking up tremendously. And yet, I was lonely. I had more than I had ever had in my life, but had nobody to share it with. But who was I kidding, I was a freak. I was not normal and if anybody really got to know me and know my secret, they would never stay with me. I was, I would always be, an outcast.

As these thoughts rolled slowly through my head, the familiar ding of the bell over the door chimed cheerily. Pulled away from staring out the window, I looked up towards the entrance of the café. Meeting my gaze was the prettiest smile I had ever seen in my life, and to go along with it, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. I was taken aback and watched intently, familiarizing myself with her friendly, gentle face, until she looked my way and I quickly looked down at my sandwich, realizing how silly I probably looked. Embarrassed, I took a quick bite of my sandwich and gulped a sip of water to busy myself. As I chewed aggressively, I heard Anna’s voice welcome the strange pretty guest to the café. I looked nonchalantly at the counter and into the back of the kitchen, trying to catch another glimpse at the new girl as my gaze crossed over. As I watched the chefs work in the back, my quick glance informed me that Anna was leading the girl down the aisle, straight past my booth. I looked back down at my sandwich and took another bite, focusing solely on the mission to look normal. As they passed my booth, I couldn’t help but take a sideways glance at the girl. As she passed, she seemed to be fishing something out of her purse and as she became parallel with me, she retracted her phone from her purse, but not without spilling a small piece of folded paper. I watched it flutter, spinning end on end to the ground before I came to realize what had happened. I reached down to pick up the paper and called after her, “Excuse me, Miss?” She turned to face me and I sputtered, “Umm, you dropped this.” “Oh. Thank you very much.” Her voice was just as pretty as I had imagined it would sound. She walked back towards me and reached for the paper. As I handed it to her, her finger reached a little too far down the paper and touch mine.

In that moment, I was once again whisked away. Scared to see what was to come, but also intrigued to learn a little of who she was, I was irrationally focused, not wanting to miss any detail. Her life was pretty normal, full of joy and excitement. I saw her toddler stage turn into preschool and then elementary school. She was full of life and loved everyone around her. Then came middle school and high school. She was so loving and caring to everyone. She made many friends with people of all ages and differences. A glimmer of hope started rising deep within me as I watched the memories continue to flood by. She might accept someone like me. She might not reject me like everyone else. Maybe something more. No. No way she would…like someone like me. Then there I was. In this moment. I was looking at myself, sitting in a booth, looking up at her, or rather, me, handing her a small piece of paper. This moment seemed to linger as I stared in awe. Why was it staying so long? Is it important somehow? No way this moment could be that important. I was so excited I could feel my heart beating a million times a second. And then, light dread. The memory faded away. It probably wasn’t anything. But then I appeared again, walking over to her table in the café. And then again, I appeared. I kept showing up in between all her different memories. She had so much joy and life, and I was a part of it. I could hardly contain my excitement as I stared at the memories. She had so much joy. And I had so much joy. And then, we had so much joy. So many moments and memories of us together. So many pictures and scenes of us. Being together, doing so many activities. Enjoying life together. I was a part of her life. And then I was her life. I could feel myself on the verge of tears. Acceptance. No, more than that. Love. I watched the rest of the memories whisk by, for the first time paying so close attention to the events and memories. And then, it was over. I glanced up and met her pretty blue eyes and held her gaze for a moment. She had no idea what had just happened, what I had seen. She didn’t know me. I smiled in that moment, looking at the girl who I’d grow old with. All the memories that we would share, created in that one moment. “Thank you!” She smiled and turned back towards Anna, brushing a strand of dirty blonde hair from her face. She walked away, but I knew it wasn’t the end. My gift had given me hope. For the first time I didn’t feel alone.