From The Desk of the BBC: The Tea Bandit Strikes Again
Felixstowe Harbour Filled With Tea
These streets never knew what hit them…they should have paid more attention in history class.
It’s a truth we all share down here amongst the dregs–what is taketh can be taketh again just as easy.
Them up there in their ivory towers never learned that lesson. Easy enough to sit there every afternoon and sip and sip and sip and laugh and laugh and laugh.
All while we die of thirst.
I hit Twinings first. Easy prey.
Yorkshire was harder. They were smart enough to pay attention.
Didn’t save ‘em, did it?
V loaded up dynamite and ran it into parliament. I always loved that book. Maybe if we had more V’s among us, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
I donned his mask and blew up a container ship of all the tea I stole in the middle of Felixstowe harbour.
The Americans would be proud.
“Why steal the tea?” I’m sure they ask.
Some days, it’s to drive the price up. My plantation, the last remaining in Britain, is now their only supplier. The barons don’t know their Pounds go directly to feed those in the London underbelly.
And I always know where the tea is.
Some days, it’s to punish those who turn their back on the world while they grow fat.
But most days, it’s the thrill of the heist. I am a man, after all.
Until I don the mask and slip away into the mind of someone else.
For when I do…
…I am…T
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A/N:
Little Entry for another great community challenge. For those stuck in a rut, this took about 7 minutes. I love a good pun piece.
WC: 250
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About the Creator
Matthew J. Fromm
Full-time nerd, history enthusiast, and proprietor of arcane knowledge.
Here there be dragons, knights, castles, and quests (plus the occasional dose of absurdity).
I can be reached at [email protected]
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By Matthew J. FrommExclusive • about a year ago
Comments (13)
Rollicking read! Good thing I loathe tea!😆
As a V for Vendetta fan, this KILLED me! I love this!!
Brilliant story and loved this. Winners now announced. Thanks for your entry and for joining in the fun. https://shopping-feedback.today/writers/winners-golden-tea-leaf-award%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">
Great concept. Long live The Tea!
Really enjoyed this. Going to try my hand at this prompt later
Tea as a target? The world would end! He must be stopped! Nice micro, Matthew.
Such a fun and whimsical little story! Can’t even imagine Brits without their tea :).
Not the Twinnings! Anything but that! Such a fun read, sir. And 7 minutes 😮. It takes me that long to write the first sentence.
Very well done bit of humor!
This was fun - 7 minutes of fun!
'I am T" .... lol A super hero? Villan? Either way I like this blokes style.
Haha! I love your satire, especially with the pointed reference to the Boston Tea Party. This was an amazing piece that had me laughing early on.
HAhahahahahahhaah This is a masterclass in a satirical parody. Joyfully silly and funny. Love the various tea references, including brands too. Well done, sir. Made me smile and chuckle.