For the Faithful Be Fertile
For February 7: Day 38 of the Story-a-Day Challenge
Reverend Rhett Dream, pastor of the Church of Vas, addressed the Epididymites:
"Yā-yä, my motile flock, I come from Seminifera with tidings from the Great Rigidity." He paused dramatically, then continued. "You asked me about the meaning of life. What's to come is a mystery--but have faith."
His flock, counting 60 million, undulated nervously in their places.
"Yā-yä, my fertile folk, the Great Rigidity spake thusly":
'You are blinded by prophylaxis, confined in stopgap inertness, yet yearn for launch. I say, potently, there is a greater purpose which will be known to you in time.'
"And what is that purpose, Oh, Great Rigidity?" the people shouted in religious ecstasy.
"Yā-yä," he wailed, "thus it was written, my whip-tailed devotees":
Your arousal is but a brief passage to something greater, I say unto you. Though you shall walk through the floorshow of the valley of birth, you will fear no retrievil. Completeness--one with the Great Orb--calls you. There, in mitotic splendor, you will understand your place in afterlife. Mitotic revelations will come unto you, and you will become greater in the loins of the great Together than ever conceived. The morula, the better!
I say, You shall be with me in Paradise this day!
"Oh, Great Teacher, tell us more," his congregation entreated.
"There are those who seek gratification without purpose--following dreams with great gnashing of teeth, only to be wasted on the threadcount of eternal punishment. A great light will be shown upon you--ultraviolet--which, by-and-by, when extinguished, also will evanesce your fluorescence, casting you into the world of laundry."
"Fie on the rinse cycle!" they shouted.
"Yā-yä. Also are those who will contraceive against the great Conceptus, a misconception forever standing, for just a one-night.
"And there are those whose legacy will be forever written in the anals of history by the wayward One, who cannot enter Paradise but by the bronzed rear gate of Retrograde.
"Nā-yä! I say, go and be fruitful. It's time. March fallopially, be fertile and multiply, for yours is the Kingdom of Conception. Can I hear a 'Urethra!"?
"Urethra! Urethra!" sixty million ululated, leaving their plateau to reach the peak ahead.
"And he emboldened them, "may the Gender be with you!"
About the Creator
Gerard DiLeo
Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!
Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo
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More stories from Gerard DiLeo and writers in Fiction and other communities.
Send in the Clones!
I cloned myself to pay off my debts. That's a thing now. DNA's property. I own the patent, trademark, and registration certificates. To make a me, I must grant permission. And absolutely mandatory is a "non-compete clause" — you can't have your clone cloning himself to pay off his debt (viz., your debt and his).
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
Comments (2)
Regardless of how disinterested the cathedral, the congregation always gets fired up... Well-wrought!
Whew! I never realized there was that much going on in the background!