Footprints of the Dragon Queen

There weren’t always dragons in the valley. Hidden after the War of the Gods, Solarion and Aleria were the two dragons of old that remained. Gywdion had kept them safe, in the shadows of The White Mountain. Patiently, they waited for the, taircheadal, the time of prophecy to awaken the hearts of humanity from darkness to light. From ancient days, they served as the guardians of kings and queens; elemental keepers of fire and water, masculine and feminine in harmony, created to protect the children of The Great Mother and Father Dragons who’d been exiled from the Garden of EA. Now that I have come to call Avalon home, that Rufus and I have found one another, the time of Dragon Priest Kings and Priestess Queens has come once more.

It was the season of the harvest moon. The wind howled like a lonely wolf calling to her pack. I hadn’t slept much the night before; the storm made certain of that. My head ached, eyes dry from lack of sleep, I sat in my chair near the fire wrapped in the deer skin Cassius had given to me. Even warm by the fire, I was restless inside. The rain beat down, punishing the stone walls of the castle without reprieve. Fire, earth, air and water…It felt like it hadn’t stopped raining for weeks until finally, at dawn, the sky closed its vault of tears for another season. Impatient to be free of these walls, I rose, dressed, and went for a walk to clear my mind.

Fresh air always served me well. Soon, my official elemental initiation would begin. The seasonal cycle of study in elemental magic began with Water. In preparation for Alban Elfed, the quaterpoint festival celebrating the autumnal equinox, each Maiden of the Well was charged with a task. Mine was to gather herbs and flowers for the ceremonial incense. Rue, marigold, pine, mistletoe, rose hips, sage, yarrow and rosemary were plentiful just beyond the castle walls.

“Take an extra basket will ya?” Gwendolyn, the castle cook, asked as I passed through the kitchen. Flour cover her face and the tips of her hair stood on ends like harvested wheat. “I’ve not enough apples for the tarts. Seems yer uncle is joining us for the festival.”

“Arimathea?” I asked, surprised at the news.

“How many uncles ye’ve got ‘round here, then?” She winked and shoved the basket in my arms. “He loves my apple tarts, and I’ll not disappoint the man.” She kissed the top of my head and sent me off.

I set out, two baskets in hand, curious about what would bring Arimathea to Avalon. It was risky for him to be seen here, even though he and Vivienne were old friends. Aleria circled overhead, keeping watch, as I made my way beyond the portcullis into the wooded glen. She was a magnificent creature. Unlike her twin, Solarion, the Fire dragon, her body scaled in shades of black, gray, purple, silver and blue. Iridescent, like sunlight on the water, Aleria embodied the essence of the element she ruled.

Today marked my anniversary in Avalon. As I walked, the crunch of rock, twig, and leaf followed by the squish of mud and moss under my boot made me smile, nostalgic, as I recalled all that had transpired to bring me to this moment. It was so very different here. In another life, Isis promised I would begin my initiation with her in thirteen turns of the moon. I suppose I had begun, in a way. Nothing as formal as what Vivienne, the Lady of the Lake and high priestess of Avalon, had in mind for me. I was born in the desert but had come to love the forest. The way of the desert was scorched earth, on the fringe, burned and transformed by heat and passion. It was risky to burn…Fire pushed the limit of the known world, always on the edge, always dangerous. Solarion knew all too well what it was to rule by fire.

Letting go of the old ways in Alexandria, I found freedom in my new life in Avalon. I was a ravenous student, hungry to understand why and how our ancestors came to be here. Somewhere at the intersection of myth, legend, and religion, there had to be clues about my role in this mystery. Tracing my steps further back in time, following the footprints of the dragon queen, to the very beginning, embracing the call of the Ancients, compelled to uncover if the stories were true. I treasured my time with Vivienne, learning the ways of the Goddess, while understanding being the initiate. It was a constant tug - like the moon on the tides - beckoning me to shed my past and step into the fullness of myself. Embedded in my soul, patterns and shapes echoed to me from a long time ago and merged with the me I was becoming…

The leaves rustled like a ripple of laughter through the breeze. I loved the way the grass smelled after rain. The change in season made me giddy as the hot, humid days of summer gave way to crisp cool nights of autumn. Or maybe it was the lingering feeling of Rufus’s lips on mine from our stolen kisses the night before.

Regardless, it was a beautiful morning. I loved being alone in the woods, listening to what the trees had to say. Pine, elder, gorse, blackthorn, heather, broom, aspen, ivy, yew, vine, birch, apple, rowan, hazel, alder, holly, willow, oak, ash and hawthorn each with a language all their own, whispered as I foraged for apples and herbs for the gathering. Many are the phases of the moon, child. Many are the seasons of time.

However, the more time I spent without my mother, Magdalene, the more it made me angry. Ultimately, I felt a stranger to myself, more confused than ever. Missing her and rejecting her at the same time. My moods were rash, unpredictable and extreme. Forsaken so that I may live. I’m not convinced it was all that altruistic. Why should I play the dutiful daughter when Magdalene had chosen duty to everyone and everything else but me? I didn’t recognize myself and it scared me. I had no point of reference, no true North Star without her, without my family. Here at the edge of the veil, there were no rules. No customs I could recognize. Everything was new. I could explore my nature without reproach. No one here knew me, not really, even after a year. The truth of who I am remained hidden in shadow.

One year had passed since my arrival in Avalon. I looked up to the sky through the canopy, closed my eyes, arms spread wide to receive the blessing of the goddess herself, as the sun shone warm on my face. So much had changed in a year.

Archangel Gabriel warned me when I saw him last. “Not all that lives in the shadow is to be feared, Sarah. Still, you mustn’t let your guard down. Not everyone, or everything, is as it seems. Remember, there is power in your blood. It holds a secret, a key, one you will come to know in time. You mustn’t forget who you are.”

But here I could forget. Here, in Avalon, I could just be.

Alone in the grove, I felt free to test my newly acquired skills. We’d been learning the invocation of the elements. I put my basket down and called the elements to me, one by one. The power was intoxicating. I opened my palm, and called Fire to me. Tine. Quite pleased with my performance, I played with the ball of fire suspended between my palms as if it were clay to be molded and stretched into whichever shape I fancied. Then, I pursed my lips and blew the flames into Aer. The wind gathered in strength around me, howling, shrieking, threatening, waiting to do my bidding. Uisce. I raised my arms skyward and brought down rain in gentle droplets, landing cold kisses on my face. Cre. The ground beneath my feet quaked and split, answering my command. I had to be careful. I hadn’t mastered control yet. If I went on too much longer, someone would notice. I knelt, placed both hands on the earth and calmed the rage that lived just below the surface of my skin at all times.

The more I opened myself to the Goddess, the more exposed I became, the more vulnerable to Belial. The darkness whispered in the dead of night like a lover, beckoning me to succumb to the shadow within.

Then I heard his voice.

I see you girl…

Why did he taunt me? He could reveal himself and be done with it already. But I could sense there was more to his plan than the expediency of execution. He enjoyed torturing me, took pleasure in my fear. He would not rest until he claimed the Tablets of Destiny for himself. Somewhere in the space between worlds, I had built some twisted comfort in the forbidden nature of his very existence. Belial had been forsaken, cast out, and so too had I. Perhaps I’d begun to understand him.

I admit I was curious, tempted to give over. What would it be like to surrender to the passionate pull of my rage? What if I gave voice to all those unseemly feelings I harbored? What would happen if I gave free rein to my sorrow? Would I drown in my tears if I cried for what I’d lost, cried out against injustice and rebelled against all that I had been taught, against who I was supposed to be? I couldn’t betray Vivienne like that. Then there was Rufus, my love, my twin flame. Entwined as we were, bound by destiny. He would come for me if I ran. There was nowhere to run here at the world’s end.

I could hear Magdalene’s voice, like a faint memory, pulling me from the lure of Belial’s whispers in the night. The very promise of you is everything they fear most. Would I be consumed, or would I find strength in the recesses of my soul to fight against the seduction of my shadow side? What was it that compelled us to do good, anyway? To live with and by the laws of God, the Goddess and humanity in harmony with one another was our directive from the days of old. Until…the want of possession, the notion of freedom and the illusion of power, outweigh and override the boundary of what we may claim as our own. It was as if there were two of me trying to inhabit the same space. Unsure of my identity here in Avalon or anywhere, regardless of how deeply Vivienne and the Maidens opened themselves to me. No matter how much I felt for Rufus, I had lost everything once before, and I was wary of falling prey to feeling too comfortable, too at ease, too complacent in Avalon. When in their company, I felt peaceful and full of purpose. Then, when the moon rose high, and the cry of the wolf came to me on the wind, I wanted to feed my darker nature. I wanted to run, to hunt, even to kill. I didn’t have a clear answer, but what I did know was, the battle that waged within me was tearing me apart.

I see you girl…

Everything around me went still. I felt my body leave this realm. Fighting against the pull, dizzy and sweating, I rose and wiped my hands on my tunic. Then, another voice, soothing and familiar, called to me.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Rufus whispered as he slipped his arms around my waist from behind. He couldn’t see the depth of my smile, my relief, as I felt the strength of his hands on my body, anchoring me to this side of the veil. I melted into him as I leaned my head against his chest. “Are you alright, Sarah? You’re trembling.”

“How long have you been watching me?” I turned to face him. With a devious grin, daring him to have my maidenhead on the spot. “I have work to do.” Unconvinced by my argument, Rufus grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me close with a kiss that shook me to the core. Breathless, I pulled back. “If you keep distracting me, Vivienne will —”

“Will what?” he teased.

“You’re greedy.” I teased back with another kiss. “We have to be careful,” I cautioned. “The trees have eyes.”

“Let me help, at least. I promise - well, maybe - to keep my hands to myself.” Those hazel eyes would be the end of me. Or maybe a new beginning…

“What’s in the basket?” he asked.

“Apples.” I took one from the basket and bit into the juicy flesh.

“Looks delicious,” he said with a coy smile.

“Very.” He stepped to me, took the apple and bit over where my lips had just been. The leaves rustled and from the clearing I saw Cassius, my guardian and ever present chaperone. Rufus stepped back and finished the apple with feigned innocence.

“What business have you out here alone, little wolf?” Cassius asked.

“I am not alone,” I replied, placing one hand on my hip in declaration of my independence and gesturing with the other to indicate the obvious.“Rufus has been keeping me company.”

“I see that,” Cassius answered through clenched teeth. He’d grown paternal, and it was sweet most times. Not this time. “Gwendolyn has been looking for you.”

“She’s the one who sent me to the grove,” I clarified. “She knows where I am.”

“Hmmpphh,” he grunted, his guise for checking on me, blown. “Well, come on then, back to the castle. Gwendolyn is waiting for the apples and such.”

“I’ll escort her back,” Rufus offered, resuming his typically humble demeanor.

“I bet you will,” Cassius mumbled.

“Pardon?” I dared him to repeat himself.

“The apples. Gwendolyn. The Kitchen. NOW.” Cassius had lost his patience with my coquetry and defiance. He grabbed the basket from Rufus with one hand and pointed in the castle's direction with the other that held his sword.

I could still feel Rufus’s gaze on me as we walked on, side by side, in silence, with Cassius at our back. The space between us seemed to dissolve. Even though we inhabited two physical bodies, I felt his soul, heard his voice, sensed his touch…I wondered if he felt it too. Lost in thought, I hadn’t noticed that a white she-wolf had joined us.

“Seems you’ve found your samhail.” Rufus winked at the wolf.

“My what?” I asked.

“Your familiar. Isn’t that what Cassius calls you? Little Wolf?” he smiled, feeling quite clever.

I stopped, taken aback at the arrival of my new friend. I knelt, unsure of what I was doing, moved by some force greater than myself. She padded up to me and looked at me, more like through me, her eyes as blue and clear as a cloudless sky, and licked my face. Not everything is what it seems. Rufus burst into a fit of laughter.

“What have we here?” Cassius could hardly believe his eyes. “Did you summon her, little wolf?”

“I’m not that good.” I laughed as I wiped my face.

“Not yet,” said Rufus.

“Don’t you remember last year? The she-wolf that birthed her cubs at Alban Elfed?” Rufus nodded. “Maybe it’s one of her cubs? She’s too small to be full grown.”

Through the brush came a gray male wolf. The air kicked up the dust and Gwydion appeared where the gray wolf once stood. “Well, I see she found you. Happy Birthday, Sarah,” said The Keeper of the Keys.

“You remembered.” I beamed; my cheeks flushed with emotion. Overcome, I flung my arms around the man’s waist.

“It’s actually in two days.” Rufus corrected, not to be outdone.

“Yes, yes,” Gwydion acknowledged. “But you see, this little wolf wouldn’t wait.”

“Sounds familiar.” Cassius interjected.

“She was born on your birthday last year and has been waiting patiently for you to receive her as your familiar. She has been in my care since the day she was born, and now she is in yours.” Gwydion explained.

“Like how Nashira is Vivienne’s samhail?” I asked, the new word awkward in my mouth.

“Exactly.” Gwydion answered.

“So now I’ve got dragons and a wolf?”

“I suppose so, my dear, but not quite. Your samhail is the wolf. The dragons are your destiny.” As he spoke, I felt the white-hot heat of my blood flush to the top of my skin, as if fire burned from the inside of my soul at the mention of dragons. I glimpsed the leather cuff with two engraved dragons at Rufus’s wrist and the twinkle in Gwydion’s eye before I fainted.

The cool cloth on my forehead brought me back from the space between waking and dreaming.

“What happened?” I bolted upright, not sure of where I was or with whom. The harsh slab of granite on which I lay and the rush of water in the creek brought me to my senses. This was not a dream. Nor was it like the last time.

Cassius replied with a gentle “Ssshhh” and patted my cheek with the cloth.

I grabbed his wrist with a sudden panic. “Where’s the wolf? Has she gone?” No sooner did I ask, she appeared by my side with a nudge at my elbow. “That’s a good girl, then.” Relieved, I stroked her on the head, closed my eyes and leaned back on the rock. “Rufus?”

“He’s gone with Gwydion back to the kitchen with your apples and herbs. No one is in the mood for Gwendolyn’s wrath today.”

I laughed, then winced at the pain in my head. “What happened back there?”

“Well, one moment you were all smiles at your new pet, the next you were out cold like a fish on a line. Are you alright, little wolf?” I nodded, not sure if I knew the answer to the question. “Are ya love sick, then?” he asked.

I punched his arm. “No, I am not love sick.”

“Well, you fancy Rufus, don’t you? Or shall I—um, handle it?” He puffed his chest.

“Can you keep our secret?” He looked confused. “I’m not sure how Vivienne will react. If this sort of thing is forbidden, I don’t want to disappoint her.”

“You have my word.” He offered me a drink of water from his flask, which I accepted, then gently punched my arm back. “If the bugger harms a hair on your head, I’ll have his balls in a sling.” I nearly choked on my drink.

“Be nice.” I warned.

“No.” Cassius smiled and crossed his arms in defiance of my request.

“I think I’ll name her Sophie.” I announced, looking at my new friend in awe.

Cassius nodded his head in approval. “Wisdom. It suits her.”

“Come on, girl.” I called Sophie to me. “Let’s go home.”

Gwydion’s words hung heavy in my mind. One is your samhail, the other your destiny…Restless in my chamber, I paced like a caged animal with Sophie at my heel. What did he mean? I couldn’t shake the feeling of fire in my veins. Jolted by the knock at the door, I gasped and clutched my robes.

“Sarah, are you well?” Vivienne sounded concerned. “Can I come in?” Flustered, I didn’t know how she would feel about Sophie in my room or what she’d heard about what happened in the grove.

“Coming!” I replied, smoothing my hair, composing myself to greet her. Sophie sniffed at the door to see who was on the other side and barreled past me. Vivienne made her way across the threshold of the opening door. Sophie came up on her hind legs and caught Vivienne off balance with her two front paws, knocking her over into my pile of dirty linens.

“Well, who’s this then?” Vivienne giggled as she made her way out from under the laundry onto one knee. Sophie bowed before the Lady. “She has impeccable manners.” Vivienne raised her left eyebrow in its signature arch. It was the expression she made when she was well pleased or scheming. The two understood one another instantly.

“Sophie. Her name is Sophie.” I snapped my fingers and commanded Sophie to come. “You’re not angry?”

“How could I be angry? She is your familiar, a part of you. It’s natural she would appear, albeit early, in your initiation process.” Vivienne knelt once again and came eye to eye with Sophie’s crystal blue gaze. Sophie winked and made Vivienne smile from ear to ear. “She is magnificent.” Vivienne acknowledged as she stroked Sophie behind the ear. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Vivienne said as she rose. “Now, the reason I came…I’ve had some news from Glastonbury.”

“Mary? Is everything alright?”

“It’s Arimathea. He’s to wed.” Vivienne announced.

“Wed? When? Whom? Isn’t he, well, old?” I asked, blushing at the innuendo.

Vivienne burst into a full belly laugh at my naïveté. “No, child. He’s not too old. Passions stir long beyond the bloom of one’s first spring. I reckon that as long as a man draws breath, so too will he burn with desire. Besides, this union is more than a love match. There is a touch of politics involved.”

“Ah, yes. That is no surprise where my uncle is concerned. Always protecting us with his alliances.” My tone was terse with sarcasm.

Vivienne, taken aback, crossed her arms. “Has this alliance not proven pleasant for you, Sarah?” She asked with an edge to match my sarcasm. She did not enjoy being taken for granted. “You have been welcome with open arms here in Avalon and amongst the Maidens, given refuge, offered every courtesy and favor. I dare say even Rufus is smitten with you.”

“Forgive me. I meant no offense.” I humbled myself, kneeling before her, mortified she knew about Rufus.

“Are you unhappy?” She asked as she took my arm and bade me rise.

“I…I am fine. Just a bit out of sorts, is all.” I lowered my head and brushed my hair from my forehead behind my ear. I was a terrible liar. “About, Rufus-”

“I am not blind, Sarah. You’ve nothing to fret yourself about.”

“I thought you’d be upset, that it was forbidden. I feel, I don’t know what I feel.” My face flushed with emotion.

“Upset? To be honest, I expected it. The Goddess will do what she will, where love is concerned, and I have learned not to meddle.” She said with a tinge of regret. Well, now that’s out in the open, I’ve news that should cheer you. You are to join me in Glastonbury in two days’ time to discuss the wedding details with Arimathea, Mary, and the bride’s family. I thought you might like to see your grandmother on your birthday. Perhaps she will shed some light on your, um—situation.” I squealed with delight and hugged Vivienne around the neck, forgetting my rank and place. She didn’t seem to mind, even if I was choking her a bit too tight. “I take it that is a ‘yes’.” She broke free from my embrace, stepped back, and took my face in her hands. She was tender with me, patient, in a way she was not with the other Maidens. Even if it was only in private. Vivienne could not appear to have any favorites amongst us. I treasured these unguarded moments between us. Sophie, restless from all the chatter, nudged my feet and whimpered. “Shall we go for a walk?” Vivienne asked as she offered me her arm. I interlocked my elbow with hers and off we went to see where Sophie would lead us.