Flatline

Flatline

The gentle swaying and dull rumble underneath Adam coaxed his eyes open from a heavy sleep.

“Ticket please”.

Adam blinked a few times, the fuzzy face of an older gentleman slowly coming into focus in front of him.

“Ticket please,” he said again, holding a gloved hand out and smiling gently. He was an older man with a graying, whiskered beard and thin wire glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. A conductor’s hat sat snugly on his head. Adam sat up straighter, hands patting his jacket and rummaging through his pockets.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have one” he offered to the conductor still waiting, hand extended. “I don’t seem to remember getting on the train” he muttered, looking around and taking in his unfamiliar surroundings. He sat in an older-looking train, light wood paneling lined the aisle and curved ceiling. Plush velvet curtains swayed with the train's subtle movements, framing the large, picturesque windows. Adam craned his neck around the conductor and noticed a couple of other passengers on the train. They sat, quiet and unmoving, facing forward. The conductor cleared his throat and Adam, turning out his empty pockets, apologized again.

“Very good sir, I see you are here for the entirety of the trip. Please try to relax and enjoy the scenery” he said, nodding at the window before turning on his heel and disappearing down the aisle and into the next car. Adam got up, the crackled leather squeaking underneath him, and moved into the aisle. He couldn’t remember how he got here, or why he would even need to be on a train in the first place. I remember getting on my motorcycle, but then what? Panic set in and his heart raced in his chest. He turned to the passenger nearest to him, a thin older woman with deep wrinkles and painful-looking, twisted hands.

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you tell me where we’re headed,” he said, trying to hold back the lump rising in his throat. She didn’t look at him but stared ahead, swaying gently. He moved slowly down the aisle, holding on to the seat corners for balance. The next passenger he came to was a teenage boy in a wet black shirt. Adam tapped him on the shoulder, but the boy ignored him. Adam bent and waved his hands in front of the boy’s eyes. They were shiny and red-rimmed, but unblinking.

“They won’t say much to you, sir. They’re all on their own journey” murmured the conductor, who had suddenly and silently appeared behind him. Adam stared into the boy’s blank face for a moment before his pounding heart slowed and the fear melted away, replaced by something else. Sadness?

“This way please to your seat sir. I’m sure you would enjoy looking at the scenery” the conductor said as he led Adam back down the aisle to his seat, hand on his shoulder.

“Where are we going? Why am I here?” he pleaded, voice cracking. The conductor turned back towards him and smiled a comforting smile, the fine lines around his eyes deepening.

“Sir you are here because you are supposed to be here. The length of the trip is up to you”.

With that he strode out of the car, leaving it quiet once again. Adam let out a breath and leaned his head back, resting it on the cushion. He let his head roll towards the window before opening his eyes. A green field, seemingly unending, lay before him underneath a cloudless bright blue sky. No trees, no flowers, no nothing. He leaned his head against the window, it bumped lightly against the glass as the train swayed. As he stared, waiting for whatever it was he was supposed to be waiting for, a reflection materialized in the window. It shimmered like a mirage before an entire scene filled the window.

A fire crackled in an old brick fireplace, dimly lighting a familiar room. A Christmas tree stood in the corner, colorful lights flickering in the dark. Three stockings hung on the mantel stuffed with candy canes, books, and toys. His mom and dad sat in their robes in their favorite spots on the couch, beaming at a young boy excitedly tearing open presents on the floor. He watched as the boy grappled with a long, shiny green and red box, pulling impatiently at the ribbon. Out slid the skateboard that he had seen at the store and begged his parents for. Adam smiled. The best Christmas I ever had. The image faded into another shimmering mirage and his favorite Christmas was replaced with the smiling face of a pretty young girl. She wore a dandelion crown on her head and ran ahead of him, turning around with an outstretched hand. Her laugh echoed faintly in his mind. His first crush and kiss. He smiled at her, remembering the day they had spent together one summer before she had moved out of state the following school year. Her laugh faded and her ghostly visage quivered before morphing into another scene. The scenes became a movie and he watched, laughing and smiling at the favorite moments of his life. His heart flooded with nostalgia and longing for family and friends to share this with. He watched for what seemed like hours. But the next scene was different, more recent. Looking down at his shirt, he saw that it was the same one that he was wearing in the scene. He watched himself circle his brand-new motorcycle, excited for his first ride. He climbed on and revved the engine while his parents stood on the sidewalk, frowning deeply. They waved him off as he kicked in the stand and took off down the street. This was not the first time he had ridden, but on the new bike, it felt like the first time all over again. The wind blew through his hair and the sun warmed his skin as he guided the bike carefully onto the busy highway. A loud, metallic screech and blaring horn echoed through his mind before the image shimmered and faded, replaced with the reflection of his own face. He noticed that his eyes were shiny and his lip quivered. His smile faded as his heart sank into his stomach. A lump formed in his throat as a single, hot tear ran down his cheek. A throat cleared behind him.

“We’ve just about arrived sir,” said the conductor.

“Where do I get off?”

“You don’t”. The conductor smiled again and Adam noticed that the old woman and young boy no longer sat in their respective seats. In fact, they weren’t in the car at all. The conductor bowed slightly before the train was thrown into darkness. The roar of the wheels bounced off the tunnel walls. Adam leaned towards the window, trying to get a view of the tunnel opening. It appeared out of the darkness as a bright, white light in the distance, small at first but quickly growing larger. Bright, warm light flooded the train as it sped out of the tunnel and into the open. Adam leaned his head back on the cushion and smiled, bathed in the comfort and warmth of the light. Closing his eyes, he sighed as a tear fell from his cheek. I feel good.

“I’m calling it” announced the doctor breathlessly. “11:59 pm”.