Faith in men

"I have no faith in men."

"What men?"

"Those who populate the planet."

"Aren't you one of them?"

"Well, I'm a woman but yes, I populate the planet too. I have no faith in myself either."

"Well you're designing problems without solutions by abandoning all faith in yourself."

"I'm not abandoning anything, it was never there."

"How do you live?"

"That's what I ask myself every day. I get up. I eat. I shit, I shower. I go to work. I return. I'm only ever half-aware of any of these things happening. I could do nothing. Lie in bed all day. Just vegetate. Or be a bit more decisive and jump off some building. But I lack follow-through."

"You're just a whiny, self-pitying lost soul. Everybody believes they're a special snowflake these days when they are depressed, struggling with life. We all do, life gets to everyone. Admittedly, some have it easier. But just get out of your sea of self-pity and go do something in the world."

"Oh, what great advice thanks, hadn't considered that! Asshole."

"Ok I'm not sure we're getting anywhere like this."

"Where do you want to get to?"

"A solution."

"For life? Not sure that's how it works."

"Ok, well - an approach. A starting point. See, I live by not thinking much. I know that thinking is dangerous. You think a lot. That is your problem. That big brain of yours creates its own trouble."

"It's not a choice."

"Sure but you either wallow in your inner world or you go and put that brain to some use. No one can be truly idle. Leisure is a lie. I mean if you're damn enlightened, you may be able to sit and do nothing for days. In a sense, you'd never be doing anything cause everything 'just happens' from what I've heard. Be that as it may, for us unenlightened mortals, blessed with the original sin, the only way is to find some purpose beyond ourselves. Act in the world. I guess, self-reflection can help at times. Haven't tried it much but I know enough about myself to say which way of life works for me and which doesn't. And sitting around, pondering myself and my own thoughts day in, day out is an absolute recipe for disaster. I know that much."

"I hear you. I thought you were just dumb but maybe you aren't. Might be you're onto something. I've sought to redeem myself through thought. Through philosophy. I've studied and studied, constructed complex mental models, inspected and evaluated ideas, ethical codes, religious scriptures. I thought I was getting closer to something. I'm not even entirely sure what. A deep understanding, I think. A purpose. An explanation of the human condition."

"Sounds like you were trying to solve life."

"Smartass."

"You're the smart one. The one with the big ideas, with the grand thoughts. I don't have such conversations usually. You just looked like someone had murdered your babies, so I felt like it was my responsibility to give you some care."

"Responsibility to care? What kind of savior complex is that?"

"In my world we call it empathy. You see someone suffering, you do what you can to help them. Not so complex, you know? Try it once you've gotten out of your head - and your ass - a bit."

"You're harsh. But yes, I can see that my ways have reached their limits. I cannot go on like this."

"Get out of your head and into the world, that's all. Don't overthink it. Go for a hike. Into nature. Sing some karaoke. Have a damn beer, talk to some real humans. It's not that hard. Unlearn some of those mental obsessions and I guarantee your life will change. Ok enough of this talk, I'm off to a party. See you - or maybe not."