Everything For Nothing

“You have an answer for everything.”

“It’s not difficult when you tell the truth.”

“Is that an insult? Are you calling me a liar?”

“You were asking about me. Do you have trouble answering questions?”

“It’s that snotty attitude right there. You know what you’re doing.”

“What am I doing exactly?”

“Saying everything and nothing at all. Lying and laughing inside.”

“I don’t find anything about this funny. I am not laughing inside.

I am screaming and crying, and most days it feels like dying.”

“But yet you’re still here. You can’t even kill yourself right.

Keep it up and I’ll call our friends on the 5th floor.”

“Why do you keep saving me then?

Is it a sick game for you?

To see if I’ll come back when I get out of the hospital?”

“I know you’ll come back.

Nobody else would put up with your crazy.”

“I am not crazy. I am hurting.

I just want all of the arguing, accusing, and pain to stop.”

“I’m sure it’s my fault, right?

You’re fucked in the head, and your kids will end up just like you.”

“That’s part of why I want to die.

To release them from us.

You will never let me go, and I can’t live like this.

They don’t deserve this.”

“You can go whenever you want.

Just know I will not be helping you, and I will make sure everyone knows how worthless you really are.

Your kids love you, but they know they are better off without you too.

It’s not about me.

I am trying to teach your kids about the real world, and you keep getting in the way.

You aren’t protecting them from me; you are shielding them from reality.”

“What did we ever do to you?”

“You’re a liar!”

“I never lied to you, and I have done everything I can to prove that to you.

I have recorded phone conversations, confronted people, and let you go through my phone.”

“Because you are crazy.

I never asked you to do that.”

“You handed me the phone and said, ‘Call them then.’

You asked me to send you text messages and recordings of meetings.”

“That was your free will—a suggestion, but your choice.

It proves nothing.

You could have warned them beforehand.”

“How would I know you would ask that of me?”

“Because you are manipulative and smart.

You think of and lie about everything.

You’re probably the smartest person I know.

That’s why I know you are lying.

Nobody as smart as you would live this way every day if they were telling the truth.”

“I’ve lied about nothing, and I have tried to leave.

You have threatened my career, my reputation, and my relationship with my kids.

I have cut off contact with most people back home for you.”

“You’re lying now.

I didn’t threaten anything.

I explained that if you leave without notice from work, I will have to report you as unhireable to future employers.

If asked about the relationship, I will tell people the facts.

You are a crazy, lying whore.

I am sure you stopped talking to people back home for fear of what they will tell me.

Don’t blame it on me.”

“I need a break. I can’t do this anymore.

It’s like talking in circles.

For 10 years, you have been accusing me of the same unsubstantiated accusations that literally nobody else can or will corroborate.

I am going to lie down.”

“Sure, why don’t you take a handful of pills while you’re in there?

That’ll help.

Just so you know, I would never do anything to hurt you.

I love you more than anyone ever can or will.

Just be honest with me.”