Evelyn

There weren't always dragons in the Valley.

Evelyn was running fast. Well, as fast as she could in her big dress and clunky heels. She really needed to catch that train. The six o’clock was the last train for the evening going out to Egbert and she just had to see Thomas before he left for South Africa for good. It was her last chance to set things straight. She couldn’t leave things the way they were or she’d regret it for the rest of her life.

When Thomas proposed just a week ago, it was the last thing she had expected. The two of them have been good friends for three years now and she assumed he knew better than that, frankly. Marriage was not something she ever had any interest in and when he blurted the words “Will you marry me, Evelyn”, it came as such a shock to her, she simply burst out laughing.

She laughed so hard she actually started to snort. Poor Tom. She still couldn’t get the image of his expression out of her head. He honestly looked like a little boy whose favourite toy had been stepped on. Totally hurt, totally sad and totally gobsmacked.

Evelyn felt guilty, but there was not much to do about it. Thomas was a very fine man, yes. And she did love him, but it was the kind of love one had for a brother. She could never think of him as her husband. Not because he wasn’t husband material, but because she wasn’t really wife material.

To be clear, that was due to her own merit. She was a fine woman herself. Beautiful, intelligent and caring. Any man would be lucky to have her as his wife. However, she never wanted to be anyone’s wife. In fact, the very opposite was true for Evelyn. She vowed to herself at the age of eighteen that she’d never get married because she didn’t wish to be living in a cage.

To her marriage always felt equal to being in a cage. The primary reason for that was how she viewed her parents’ marriage. Ever since she was little, she remembered her mother always being in the house, taking care of housework duties while her father was out exploring the world, experiencing life at large. He traveled, learned about making business deals and came home when he saw fit. Mostly to get fed by her mother, who never got to go with him on any of his adventures because it wasn’t “fit for a lady”. He never even appreciated her.

As a young girl, she observed this type of behaviour in all marriages and it left a mark on her. A mark that tarnished the whole idea of marriage for good in her eyes. Evelyn was only fifteen when her mother died of health complications. The one thing that always stayed with her was the thought that her mother had spent most of her life in the confined walls of their house, never really finding out what life was all about. And just like that, it was taken all away from her before she had the chance to find out.

Her father, on the other hand, was killed when she was eighteen during one of his crooked business deals. He was shot dead because he tried to con another man. She was never close to him or anything because he wasn’t a very caring father either. It did make her realize though that she was not willing to live just to serve a man, especially when he didn’t even appreciate it. Her mother didn’t deserve that life and when her father died, she promised herself that would not be her faith too.

That’s why she was doubly shocked when Thomas asked her to be his wife. After all, he knew her history very well. He knew where she stood because she had always been honest with him. She told him her deepest secrets because he was the closest friend she ever had. She never felt this close to another woman. In fact, she always found it very difficult to be in the company of other women because she struggled to relate to many of them. Most of them always talked about how they couldn’t wait to find a husband, which she never understood. To her, getting married meant losing freedom for a woman.

She cherished her freedom too much to risk losing it. She told Thomas on many occasions how she couldn’t relate to other women for this reason. Perhaps that had been her mistake. She shared too much with Thomas. Perhaps their relationship had gotten too intimate without her realizing. Did he see that as an invitation?

So when she laughed at his proposal so horridly, she hadn’t meant to hurt him. She just found it hilarious that he’d even ask! To be honest, it was kind of a defense mechanism. She didn’t know what else to do or how to turn him down politely. So instead, she inadvertently made him feel like a fool. It seemed like the easier thing to do at the time.

However, Thomas wasn’t laughing with her. It was a huge blow to his ego, no doubt. In fact, he didn’t even say much before dashing for the door, except “Good day, Evelyn”. That was the last time she saw him. So it was imperative that she caught that train.

Thomas is a doctor and last month he received an invitation to join his colleagues in Kimberley, South Africa, where smallpox had spread. They were to go and help cure the affected population. That meant he had to move there of course, but for a whole month he seemed torn about it and couldn’t make up his mind until about a week ago. He finally decided to go. The next day he came over to share the news with Evelyn and that’s when the proposal came out.

At least now she finally understood why he was so torn up about making that decision. He was trying to figure out how to say yes to the opportunity of helping people without leaving her behind. He clearly wanted her to come with him, which undoubtedly he would’ve asked her to do if she had said yes to marrying him.

Evelyn has been feeling dreadful about everything the whole week. She was mad at herself for making Thomas feel so inadequate. As if he wasn’t good enough for her. But, as much as she loved him, she just couldn’t marry him. It would mean breaking a vow to herself. After all, she’s twenty-eight now and she’s done just fine on her own thus far. She planned to keep taking care of herself for a long time to come.

Still, she needed to make things right between them before he left. He was scheduled to set out in two days. She’d been meaning to do it sooner, but she didn’t know how. She still didn’t, but at least she had to try before she ran out of time. She had to do something, if nothing more than to apologize and hope he forgives her.

***

When she arrived at Thomas’ flat, Evelyn suddenly felt very nervous. She started to feel anxious about facing him after their last meeting. How was she going to explain herself without hurting his feelings further? Nevertheless, she came here for a reason, so she knocked on the door.

When the door swung open and Thomas emerged, she felt a pang of regret. Almost like she wished she could just get over herself and run off with him wherever he was going. She knew she was going to miss him once he’s gone. But, at the same time she knew deep inside that it was not going to make her happy in the long run.

“Evelyn,” he said in surprise. His brown eyes showed sadness. He looked like he’d been waiting for her to come and tell him she changed her mind and was going to marry him after all. Or maybe she was reading too much into his expression.

“Thomas,” she said as she moved forward to embrace him. He sighed as he hugged her back and pulled away to ask, “Are you alright?”

“Am I alright? Are you alright?” She countered. “I’ve been so worried. We haven’t spoken after the way I treated you and I’ve been feeling so guilty.”

“No, no, no…Evelyn, please. You have nothing to feel guilty about.” He replied with a concerned tone. “In fact, I’ve been feeling rather like a fool for coming to you in that way. I’ve gone over it in my mind several times and I can’t believe I put you in that position. I mean, I know you. I know how you feel about marriage. It was a mistake to think that just because I didn’t want to lose you as a friend, you’d suddenly abandon your beliefs and run off with me to South Africa.” He sighed heavily again.

“Please sit down.” He gestured to the sitting area and they both sat next to each other.

“Tom…” she began but wasn’t sure how to continue. She wasn’t expecting this. She assumed he was cross with her. “I feel terrible, I really do. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. You’re such a good man and I really cherish you, but….”

“It’s alright dear,” he interrupted her. “You don’t need to explain, I do understand.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have laughed like that. It was awful of me and I am sorry for that,” she said.

He ran his hands through his thick brown hair and smiled. “Yes, well it took me a bit off guard I suppose, but it’s alright. I’m over it,” he looked at her affectionately and continued. “Evelyn, the truth is that I love you. I really do, but I have to go to South Africa. I feel that it’s my duty. I can’t turn my back on people in need.” He was always very noble and put others’ needs ahead of his own. “I just didn’t want to go without you because I could be there for a long time, so I blurted out the proposal even though I knew very well what you’d say. I’m sorry.”

“Oh Thomas, this is why I admire you so. You have the most generous, kind heart. And, I hate to see you go. The thought of not having you close by makes me sick to my stomach, truly. But, I will not be able to give you what you want, what you deserve. You deserve a woman who will always be there for you in every way. That’s just not me, I’m sorry. I know you will find her soon though.” She said earnestly.

“Yeah well, she will never be you,” he winked teasingly. “Will you stay for tea?” He asked trying to change the subject.

“Of course,” Evelyn smiled, grateful they got to talk things through.

They talked for several more hours like old friends. They laughed like they used to and tried to make the most of their time, knowing they wouldn’t see each other for a long time to come. Eventually, Evelyn got up to say goodbye.

“Well my friend, I shall miss you terribly, but I do wish you all the best. Please take good care of yourself and write to me often,” she said.

“I will miss you more,” he responded. “I wish you all the happiness you can find. Maybe it couldn’t be with me, but I do hope you find someone to share it with eventually.” At least his humour hasn’t faded, Evelyn thought wryly.

They said their goodbyes and she made her way back home.

***

The next day, Evelyn went about her day as normal. While she was taking her afternoon stroll though, she couldn’t stop thinking about what Thomas said to her at the end of the night. Would she really find someone else to share her happiness with? Why would he suggest that if she couldn’t do that with him? If she were to be with anyone, it would be him, wouldn’t it? Why was this suddenly bothering her so much? She was getting annoyed at all this turmoil she was feeling out of nowhere. She just wanted to live happily on her own, nothing more.

She was passing by an old antique shop on Lombard Street when an old man standing just outside interrupted her confusing thoughts. “Good afternoon ma’am,” he greeted her politely. “Would you care to see my newest trinkets?”

“No! Thank you.” She replied sharply, a little irritated by the interruption.

The old man continued unaffected by her shortness with him, “But I’m sure I have something that will please a fine lady like yourself. Won’t you come in for just a moment and amuse an old man?” His smile was so genuine, it made Evelyn soften. She realized she could be more polite.

“Alright, let me have a look at what you’ve got,” she agreed and the man ushered her inside the shop.

As she followed him in, Evelyn noticed the window display was a bit peculiar. There were various ornaments, jewels and house accessories strewn about in no particular order. It looked as if though, someone just put them there randomly without any thought. They were completely unorganized. There was one large red bulb hanging from the ceiling that particularly stood out and caught Evelyn’s attention. It seemed to be covered in cobwebs, but she could see her own reflection in it, so she stared at it for a moment. Then, she suddenly noticed in the reflection that the old shopkeeper was standing behind her waiting.

“Sorry,” she murmured.

“No, no, take your time ma’am. See anything you like?” He asked in a chipper tone.

“I’m not sure yet, let me have a look around,” she replied. As she proceeded deeper into the shop, she wasn’t exactly impressed with the interior of it either. It was messy and the shelves were quite dusty. There were so many trinkets everywhere, her eyes didn’t know where to rest. Not very appealing to shoppers, this couldn’t have been good for business. No wonder he had to go out onto the street and lure people in, she thought. Why would anyone want to come in here?

She came in out of politeness, but now she just wanted to get out of there, so she said, “Thank you kindly, but I must go now.”

“Oh, but you haven’t seen my special merchandise yet. Why won’t you come with me?” He guided her towards the back of the store and Evelyn followed him reluctantly. She sensed that this poor old man was probably lonely so she tried to humor him a little.

He pointed to a very old musical box and said, “I have something very special right here that I’m sure you will love.” He took the box and placed it in her hands carefully with a big smile. “Won’t you try it? Go on, give it a spin,” he encouraged her very excitedly.

It was a very beautiful antique music box. It was wooden and had intricate flower carvings all around it. On the top, it had a particularly beautiful red rose painted on. It was truly remarkable craftsmanship.

Evelyn couldn’t help herself as she admired this work of art in her hands. She started to smile warmly at the man, thinking this was a small price to pay to make his day. She’d feign some enthusiasm for his sake, make him happy and get on with her own day in a few minutes. No big deal.

So she held the box with one hand and gently started to turn the handle with the other until a soft melody started to play. She listened to the music and to her surprise, she instantly felt mesmerized by it. It was a soft, lovely sound that made her feel relaxed at once. She felt so peaceful as she listened. She couldn’t stop turning the handle because she didn’t want the music to end. It was as if she had been hypnotized.

A few minutes had gone by while she was enjoying this tranquility. Then, something strange started to happen. She realized that she couldn’t remember how she got here, why she was here or anything from the moment before she touched the musical box, for that matter. All she knew was that she couldn’t stop listening to the music.

Then suddenly, everything started to spin around her. She started to feel very dizzy. The walls around her were spinning faster and faster, yet her fingers couldn’t stop turning the handle. It was like she was possessed by a higher power or something. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t reason, she just kept spinning. The music was becoming louder and louder. The combination of the fast spinning and incredibly loud music became so unbearable, she started to scream. She felt like she lost all control of the situation. She couldn’t stop any of what was happening, so she closed her eyes and kept screaming louder, desperately wishing for it all to stop. She felt physically ill, like her body was about to tear apart. Her ears started to ring and she felt like she was flying through space. She didn’t feel the box in her hands anymore, but the music kept on playing. She didn’t understand what was happening. She started to yell, “Stop! STOP! STOP!” But it wasn’t stopping.

Until finally...everything quieted completely in an instant as her body dropped hard on the ground like she had been suspended in mid-air. She was breathing heavily trying to gather her wits and understand what just happened. She looked up to question the old man, but to her shock, he was nowhere to be seen. To her even bigger astonishment, she was not at the antique shop anymore either. She started to look around her surroundings and panted, “Where the hell am I?” She was terrified.