Ephemeral Bondage

The outside world was unknown to her, but she could see a glimpse of it through the window in his room. Creeping from his bed she left him asleep, undisturbed.

Quietly, to the sounds of deep breaths, she tiptoed to the window’s edge. She was so close she could feel the chill emanating from the slight cracks in the glass. She could see so little of the outside world. People developed things they thought would make the world better, more perfect. It was never enough. Silver orbs flew past the window scanning for signs of life every so often. They were now insignificant having no one to report to. That’s what he told her, anyway. Corroding buildings that reach past the clouds could be seen in the distance. But they were dying. This world was dying. Allowing herself, against her better judgment, to stroke the broken glass with slim, pale fingers.

‘Crack’

Her hand flew to her lips, covering her mouth in an attempt to muffle the scream at the back of her throat. She shifted her eyes to ensure he was still resting. The relief alone was enough to push back the tears pressing at the back of her eyes.

The new crack in the glass shifted her attention back to the window. She wondered silently if she could risk it. Would the risk be worth the reward?

Just as the thought passed the sheets began to rustle and a loud moan escaped his throat. She quickly busied herself with the water basin. She ran the cool cloth over her neck. Though there was no dirt or grime to wash away. She scrubbed the rose-scented soap with the cloth and continued washing her neck and shoulders.

His heavy footsteps created a disturbing creaking sound within the floorboards as he approached her. She felt him place his callused hands on either of her soft shoulders, inhaling deeply as to reminisce in her scent. Roses. “Good morning, Dusana.” The words sent shivers down her spine no matter how many times she heard them.

“Clay,” she addressed him coldly. He hated when she did that. A thought that was not lost on her.

He took a deep breath. In through his nose and out through his mouth. The air caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. “Is this the kind of day we are going to have?” He paused, allowing her a moment to answer. “That’s a shame, really. I did not intend to walk alone today but-”

Her elbow knocked the water basin as she quickly turned to look into his eyes. Eyes so dark one could not imagine their existence. “Wait, my love.” She placed her soft hand on his chest. “This morning has been rather eventful. I did not mean to treat you so coldly.”

Their eyes shifted to the window. It did not take him long to notice the new crack. She continued to stare but could feel the moment his eyes returned to her face, she dreaded to meet them. “Did you touch it?”

Silently, she repeated to herself. ‘Life is created only after the appearance of infinite moments learn to string themselves together. Only then can a person exist. He is nothing but moments. He is nothing but snapshots of time. He is nothing.’ Finally, she gathered the courage to speak. “Of course not, Clay. I would never do such a thing. Not ever again.”

He released a breath she had not noticed he was holding. “Do you promise?”

She stood there with his eyes burrowing into her, hoping he could not see her fear. After all, the eyes are windows to the soul. She felt her fear go past the mortal realm and straight to her soul. A soul she no longer claimed for herself. It had become Clay’s to own. She owed him everything. She owed him in a way that allowed fear to seep through the skin that no longer belonged to her, through the eyes that she could not call her own, through, all the way to the depths of her soul. A soul that possessed her body but was not hers.

He is nothing.

He is nothing.

He is nothing.

Dusana plastered a smile on her face before speaking confidently. “I promise.”

“Very well. I will return shortly. See to it that you are ready to leave when I do.”

Moments like these came few in Dusana’s life, in which she felt a twinge of true happiness. In which, owing everything to Clay was worthwhile. Moments so temporary they became fugacious no matter how hard she tried to hold onto them. But she didn’t care.

He accepted the nodding of her head in response. Pushing back from their close proximity he moved across the room to gather his bag and boots and he left, locking the door on his way out.

Dusana gathered herself and hurried over to the loose floorboard she had kept secret from Clay. Inside she dug past a leather-bound journal, a book titled “Alice in Wonderland”, a pocket knife, and a small, wooden animal until she found a music player from the old world.

The old world. The outside world. They were one and the same to Dusana. A lost world she could only view from the window on the other side of the room she resided in. She and Clay had protected it for centuries. It was the last one after all. They were the last ones. But by all means, you get what you pay for.

Dusana placed the music player on the edge of the bed allowing it to play such sweet sounds. She danced around the room, brown hair and a white dress flowing behind her. She allowed herself to be lost in each note. Each sound transported her to a place far from there. Deep into the outside world, she could only imagine from stories and faint memories.

Dusana was lost in her thoughts. So much so that she could not hear the sound of the window cracking. She found it easy to ignore the pain burrowing deep inside her. Spinning. Spinning. Spinning. Laughing. Crying. Choking. Falling. Dying?

“Immortality has its limits.” She heard the voice deep inside her. Until that moment she had never headed its warning. How could an immortal have any limits? She was untouchable. Wasn’t she?

If she was she didn’t feel untouchable at that moment. She felt very weak, impermanent. Thoughts and memories flooded her brain.

“Issac, where are we going? You’re scaring me!” He gripped her hand tighter pulling her along behind him.

“Come, my dear, we are so close.” His voice vibrated through her, rich and deep. She could die happy if only listening to the sound of his voice. The fear was a fleeting feeling replaced by love, by trust.

“Close to what? I don’t understand.” Her words fell from her lips with less and less uncertainty. Wherever she was going, it didn’t matter. As long as she was with him.

“Didn’t you say you wanted us to be together forever? Until the end of time? That you would give up anything? Those were your words.” He turned to her and she watched his chest rise and fall with deep breaths. She had said that. “Well, my love, that is where we are going. To find the end of time.”

She still didn’t understand. She was young and naive but a mistake like this you could only make once. Her mind was clouded of every rational thought when she was with him. So she followed him, blindly, unaware of her fate.

Issac’s laugh erupted through the silence of the night. She couldn’t help but laugh with him. She didn’t know why they were laughing but he made her want to smile for the rest of her life.

“Hurry, my love, we are almost there now.”

So she did. She hurried.

When Clay returned he noticed the music player on their bed and anger began to grow quickly inside him. He searched for Dusana until he found her unmoving on the floor. Dropping his things he rushed to her side. “Dusana!” He shook her shoulders.

“Dusana,” her name left his lips as he cradled her head in his lap. “Dusana, my love, wake up.” He pulled her closer, tears streaming from his face. “Come, let’s go for a walk.”

She lay still in his hands as he carried her over to their bed. He walked to examine the window and found several new cracks in the glass. Glass, he touched and found colder than anything he had felt in his lifetime. Anything, except Dusana in that very moment. He replaced the photon reactor in order to bring their home back to life. The sound was the only thing he would hear for gods know how long. Her sweet voice would no longer fill the bitter silence.

He returned to her and curled his body around hers in a frivolous attempt to warm her. He fell asleep to the sounds of his own sobs. He would wait. All he had to do was wait.

Seconds.

Minutes.

Hours.

Days.

Months.

Years.

Moments. Seemingly endless moments passed as he waited.

Waited for his sweet Dusana.

“Wait, we’re here.” Issac stopped before a large tree. A tree that had been dying for years and was close enough to feel the cold, dark hands of death.

She looked around for even a twinge of familiarity but found none. “Where are we?”

“Hush, now. It will all be over soon.”

Pain shot through her hand as he tightened his grip. “Issac, you’re hurting me.” She tried to pull away but to no avail.

“I’ve brought her! I told you I would!” Issac shouted into the darkness.

As the words left his mouth a rumble shot through the ground beneath their feet, so great it knocked them both to their knees. She took the chance to try and run but Issac grabbed her feet and pulled her back to him. She struggled and clawed but nothing worked. He was too strong and she was too weak. He tightened both his arms around her. “My love, this is what you wanted!”

She turned to meet his eyes. The deep brown eyes she had fallen in love with had been replaced by eyes so dark she could hardly see them. “What’s happening?” Her words had hardly fallen from her lips before a sharp stabbing pain coursed through her body. Her back arched and her limbs fell limp as she descended into the air.

She could hardly hear the faint, angry screams of Issac. “What about me? We had a deal!”

She did not know how much time had passed. When she finally opened her eyes she found herself lying on the forest floor where everything had happened. It all felt like a dream. A distant event that surely had not happened to her. She pushed herself to a sitting position and searched until she found him.

Her soft hands reached out to touch his cheeks. Her eyes scanned his face over and over again. It looked like him. Like Issac. Everywhere except for his eyes. But she didn’t care. She loved him and it was done. Until the end of time. “Issac?”

He guided his hands to meet hers. “My sweet Dusana, please, call me Clay.”

Without a second thought, she did as he asked. “Clay.”

Until, after what felt like an eternity, he heard her mumble, “Clay, can we go for a walk now?”

He rushed to her side, scooping her in his arms, and spinning without another care in the world. Confusion swept over Dusana until she noticed the new cracks in the glass. There were so many she would have to stop spinning to count. The window, tethered to her soul for her entire existence, was dying. What did that mean for her?

“Of, course, Dusana. Let’s go for a walk.” Clay placed her on the bed and returned with shoes he willingly placed on her feet. “Come, my dear.”

She had no idea how long she had been asleep. How long her soul had separated from her body this time? But, she could not focus on those questions. He was going to allow her to go for a walk. Nothing else mattered.

Not now. For Dusana was going to risk everything. She had no clue what had gotten into Clay and she did not care. She wanted to be free of him for however long she had left. Immortality is a concept she could not grasp in its truth. She knew what she had to do now. And she was more than willing to do it.

Dusana followed Clay through the door. A door she looked at so often she had memorized each and every groove. He stretched his hand out towards her. And for the first time in a very long time, she took it without fear.

Clay allowed himself to walk whenever he pleased. But for Dusana, it was too “risky”. She hated him for it. For being the one to dictate her every move. She hated herself for allowing him to.

But anytime Dusana thought to fight back the memory resurfaced. She would remember Clay laying everything on the line so that they might be together, forever. Immortal. Living vicariously through a window to the outside world. This was not exactly what she had in mind. But they both sacrificed things for this life. They both chose it. That is what he tells her. That she chose this. He only made it her reality.

The dark corridor they traveled through began to narrow, leading to the heavy metal door at the very end that was only programmed to open at Clay’s will. The door slid open and all at once Dusana was hit with the most intense smell she ever experienced. Intense and beautiful. She stepped through behind him and took it all in. She wanted this every day. But she had to be patient. Wait for the perfect moment to strike.

Clay took the lead and Dusana was happy to fall behind. Once Clay was mildly distracted Dusana pulled the pocket knife from beneath her dress and gripped it firmly in her hand.

He is nothing.

He is nothing.

He is nothing.

A loud bellow escaped from Dusana as she charged Clay from behind. Knocking him off his feet with swift movements and stabbing the knife deep into his chest.

His eyes drifted from the knife in his heart to find hers. Her windows were glassed over, giving him no insight into what she was feeling at that moment. Words struggled out of him, “Why, my love?”

She laughed, “My love?” Dusana twisted and pulled and dug until she held his heart in her hands. Blood as dark as his eyes dripped down her arm and fell onto her white dress. “You are nothing, Clay. I did not choose this life. I did not sell my soul to you. You stole it and tethered me to you and this godforsaken world until the end of time. The window is dying and so am I. I will not allow myself to be controlled by you for the little time I have left. We may have chosen immortality but our love did not.”

He spoke again, “I-,” he coughed so much she was sure he was done, but instead, he said. “I see.”

Her eyes darkened.

He felt around until he held her other hand in his. “Do you-” blood dripped from his mouth as he struggled to speak, “do you know why I changed our old world names, my sweet Anna?”

She flinched at the name she had long since forgotten.

“Names have so much power. Did you know that Dusana?” He did not intend to wait for her answer. “See,” he wheezed trying to gather the strength to speak, “Dusana, it means soul. Did you know that?” He laughed a soulful, desperate laugh. “Your soul is tethered to the last window overlooking the outside world. If it dies so does your soul. But you already knew that part.”

Dusana sat listening. Her mind was searching for answers. Answers. Answers. Why was he telling her this? “Clay, what does your name mean?”

He laughed some more, choking on his own blood. “You were willing to sell your soul to see the end of time. To love me forever. Do you remember?”

Dusana felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. “Issac, what does Clay mean?!”

“You and me Dusana. Until the very end. But didn’t you ever wonder why I was the only one allowed to leave? Did it not occur to you, if you could so easily stop me now, why couldn’t you leave? Did you think your soul was so fragile?”

He is nothing.

He is nothing.

He is nothing?

He gasped for air. “Your soul is tethered to the LAST window to the outside world. So, why, my dear, could you not leave?”

She was no longer enjoying this moment. “What does the name mean, Clay? What does it mean?!”

His laugh sent a shiver down her spine. He pulled himself to her ear and let out a strangled whisper, “Mortal.”

She dropped his hand, and as she did the man before her began to morph into something she could only describe as utter darkness. Her Issac, how long had he been gone?

“Run, my sweet Anna.”

“Run!”