Encounter with Clueless Cop

tleisad

So, there I was, minding my own business, driving down the road at a reasonable speed, or at least what I thought was reasonable until I saw those flashing lights in my rearview mirror. Now, I'm not saying I have a lead foot, but let's just say my car might have mistaken the gas pedal for a dance floor.

I pull over, trying to act all innocent like I've never seen a cop before. Out saunters Officer Clueless, complete with the stereotypical aviator sunglasses and a mustache that could double as a broom. He waltzes up to my window, and I swear he looked more confused than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

"License and registration, please," he says, but it comes out more like a question than a demand. I hand over my documents, trying not to laugh as he squints at them like they're written in hieroglyphics.

After what feels like an eternity, he finally speaks again. "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

I give him my best innocent smile. "Was it because you noticed my impeccable driving skills?"

He blinks at me, and I can practically see the hamster wheel spinning in his head. "Uh, no. You were going twenty miles over the speed limit."

I try to look shocked, like I'm genuinely surprised by this revelation. "Twenty? Are you sure? I thought I was just keeping up with traffic."

He shakes his head, clearly unimpressed with my attempt at humor. "License and registration," he repeats, like a broken record.

I hand them over again, and this time, he actually manages to write something down on his little notepad. I watch, amused, as he struggles to tear the page out with one hand, eventually resorting to using his teeth.

Finally, he hands me back my documents along with a ticket. "Try to keep it under the speed limit next time," he says, sounding more like he's giving me fashion advice than a warning.

I nod, trying to keep a straight face as he saunters back to his patrol car. As soon as he's out of sight, I burst out laughing, because let's be real, encountering Officer Clueless was probably the highlight of my day.