Earth Night

2023

Granola chomping, kombucha guzzling hikers checked their gear and reaffixed their red hats blaring who they wished to vote for…again. They came to a clearing. The duskiness of the place created a weird vibe. They saw some men and women standing around and making digital measurements of the forest.

“What do you think you’re doing?” One of the female red hat wearers asked.

“We’re surveying this land to see what oil and natural gas will be available in the future,” Lamar Casing replied.

“You can’t do that!” a male red hat exclaimed.

“This is about this day now turning to night. You have made an interesting choice in who you wish to vote for next year.”

“What do you mean by that?” Another male with a red hat asked.

“I mean you seem very leftist to be voting for someone, I don’t even know if he’s off the rightist spectrum or not, who doesn’t represent your values.”

“I’ll let you know, we’re hoping for a Communist revolution that will be sparked by the second term of this man.”

“Okay,” Esther Barhnardt acknowledged. “If we find oil or natural gas out here, it will be an earthly blessing as standard of living, quality of life and life spans all rocket upward. Are you too concerned about the planet and nature which have been trying to kill humans since our inception?”

The red hats looked puzzled. They had been hit with a barrage of bovine fertilizer for years and now they witnessed the blossoming of flowers.

“Yes but it’s all about the environment….”

Casing replied to this. “The human environment is all we’re concerned about. That includes nature. That includes flora and fauna. The Environmental Safeguard Service (ESS) has no clue. You might have one now, though.” The red hats scurried.