Duskwood: Into the Forest JAKE EPILOUGE

You stare blankly at the T.V. Phil glances your way a few times as he wipes down the bar. You’re numb. After all that you’ve been through, Jake’s disappeared again, and you haven’t heard anything from him. Phil slides you a shot of your favorite liquor. You absentmindedly toss it back, igniting your throat, burning your chest. You don’t flinch. You’ll take the distraction, the pain, over the pounding in your chest.

Heat rings in your ears as you swallow the last few drops in the glass, sliding it back towards Phil. It’s been a full year since the incident with Michael Hanson. What better way to celebrate the absence of your soulmate than to drown your sorrows in The Aurora?

“Another.” You say flatly.

“I think you’ve had enough.” He throws the bar towel over his shoulder. “Where are you staying tonight?”

You raise an eyebrow keeping your eyes on the T.V. “Dunno.”

He reaches beneath the bar and grabs a second glass. “We’re closing soon.”

He fills both glasses, sliding one your way. You clink them together, still avoiding his gaze, and toss it back straight. You focus on the thick liquid as it rips through your insides, settling in your empty stomach.

“I know.” You say as you slide the glass back his way, “Another.”

He sighs but pours you both another shot. You clink your glasses together, and down them in unison.

“I’m worried about you.” He wipes his lips with the back of his hand.

“What’s there to worry about?” You move to slide the glass back towards him, but he stops you, placing a hand over yours.

“He’s been gone a year. You’ve been in my bar, sitting here staring at nothing, every night since.” He retorts.

“That’s not true. I went home. Once. Besides, there’s nowhere else to drink.” You sigh loudly, spinning your stool away from him, “You don’t have a thing to worry about, see?” You get to your feet and walk a straight line, nearly toppling over an empty table. “Oopsie.” You giggle as you steady yourself, balancing on one foot. You dramatically touch your fingers to the tip of your nose.

Just as you threaten to crash into the table a second time, Phil rounds the bar. He wraps his arms around you, helping you into the nearest chair.

“You’re not okay.” He crouches down, hands on your shoulders. “Seriously, look at me.” He puts a gentle hand under your chin, “Please, stop doing this. Forget about him.”

You flinch, “Just forget about him?” Your eyes burn with the threat of tears. “And how the hell am I supposed to do that Phil?”

“For starters, stop drinking alone.”

“I’m not alone. I have you!” You smirk.

“I’m all for playing bartender when it’s someone I don’t care about, but watching you come apart is killing me.”

“Why? I’m not important. Obviously.” You roll your eyes, swaying uneasily.

“Do you not realize how many people care about you?”

You huff, “Yeah, okay.”

“They’re avoiding you because you’re pushing them away.”

“Everyone but you?” You smile awkwardly in his direction.

“Where are you staying?”

“I…” You hiccup, “I don’t know.” You’ve blown through your savings. You’ve lost your job after not returning to work as you should have. Your rent went unpaid. They’ve seized your apartment and your belongings. You’ve got nowhere to go.

He sighs as he glances around the empty bar. “You stay right here, got it?”

He gives you a friendly pat on the back as he passes. You slouch down in the chair, nearly sliding to the floor. Phil returns and pulls up a chair. Your knees are touching. You glance at them and giggle.

“What’s funny?”

“Your knees! They’re so much bigger than mine!” You chuckle.

“If you don’t have a place to stay, you can stay at my place.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“You think I don’t know that? You’ve been drinking for free.” He rolls his eyes. “I could find a way to pay you for something. You can help me here. You’d make fantastic tips.”

That subtle, iconic Phil wink brings a smile to your face momentarily.

“My savings is gone. They’ve seized my apartment. My belongings. I’m not even a good friend. I’m pathetic. I keep waiting around here, but for what? He’s gone…” You shudder, “Oh my god. He’s gone!” You shout and pull your hair into your fists.

“He’s an idiot.” Phil spits. “He’s the dumbest fucking person I’ve ever met.”

You hear a clicking noise from behind you just as Phil straightens himself.

“Who’s an idiot?” A familiar voice.

“How did you…” Phil pauses and laughs in a low voice, “Fucking hackers. You’ll break into just about anything, won’t you?”

Wait, hacker? You push up from your chair too quickly and stumble forward through the bar, knocking over tables before landing on your ass. You fall back onto the floor, laughing hysterically. You’re injured in several places, but the liquor numbs you to the pain. You struggle to breathe, the wind knocked out of you. The room spins, just as someone comes into view.

“Jake?” Your voice is weak and so is your consciousness. Before he can answer, the room fades away.

When you open your eyes, you’re in a familiar room. At first, you can’t put your finger on the location. Your head throbs and your stomach threatens to empty its contents. The last thing you remember is Jake’s voice, before passing out. You slap your palm against your forehead.

“Why am I like this?” You mumble to yourself embarrassed.

“Feeling alright?” Your ears are ringing, so you can’t be sure, but that’s Jake, right?

You drag your body up by the elbows and glance around. Now you know where you are. It’s the hotel room in Colville, but why and how, are you here? The room spins as you adjust to the dimness in the room. You might throw up if you don’t get something to drink, but you’re too afraid that any sudden movements might speed up the process.

“Water.” You say in a small voice and plop back down on the hotel pillow.

You hear him chuckle before leaving the room. When he returns, you feel the bed sink. He holds the paper coffee cup full of water out to you. You rub your eyes in shock. It’s him.

“You smell like a brewery.” He brushes a few strands of hair away from your face.

You flinch under his touch. Is this all just a pretense for an apology and more broken promises? Your stomach lurches as you set the cup down on the bedside table and make a run for the bathroom. Slamming the door behind you, you kneel in front of the toilet, retching. Nothing comes up. Bile and foam mostly. When was the last time you’d eaten?

He knocks on the door lightly before pushing it open.

“Don’t come in!” You shout, embarrassed, dry heaving.

“You need to eat something.” He says as he ignores your pleas and drops to the floor.

You cradle your pounding head in your hands, swaying slightly. You tip over, nearly crashing into the tub. You reach for something, anything, to stop your fall. You can’t pass out now. You’ve waited so long. Now that he’s here, maybe you can get some answers.

“What happened, Jake?” You refuse to look at him, but you feel his eyes on you.

He sighs, patting his lap, “Sit.” He commands and you slide across the floor. You settle in, facing away from him, pouting. “While you were in the water, Alan Bloomgate arrived, just before the emergency vehicles. He helped get me away. He tended to my wounds. I have your shirt, by the way. I kept it, as weird as that sounds now that I’m saying it.” You feel him kiss the top of your head, sending a wave of nostalgia through you.

“That was a year ago, Jake. What happened after that?”

Your stomach is settling somewhat. You turn to face him. You know you must smell and look like a dumpster fire, but you don’t care.

“He offered me a job in exchange for my freedom.” He strokes your back as he continues, “I’d work for the First 48 Missing Person’s Department. In exchange, they’d change my identity permanently, and get my pursuers off my back.”

You’re stunned into absolute silence. One year? That’s exactly how long he’s been gone. Does that mean his name has been cleared? Can he be with you openly now? You don’t want to get your hopes up, but your heart swells in your chest anyway.

“Did you take it, his offer?” You ask afraid of his reply.

“I did.” He says in a small voice, “I worked myself nearly to death. I figured the harder I worked, the more likely they were to let me go. There were some… conditions, however. One of those conditions was that I never hacked another device for purposes not warranted by my employer.”

Hacking is his life’s work. Would he truly be able to uphold that condition forever? Would he be comfortable living under those conditions? Is that something that he can do and still be happy?

“Are you done with helping them, then?” You ask as you search his eyes for answers that aren’t there.

His gaze remains unfocused, staring past you. “I’ve completed my original duties with the department, however…” He chews his lip nervously. “I have decided that I want to continue to hack for the department. I want to be able to put my skills to good use. The alternative would be patching holes in the defenses of the companies and organizations I despise.”

“I understand.” Your heart sinks in your chest.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” He tilts your chin, drowning you in his ocean blue eyes.

“Can you read minds now?” You smirk.

“I think I have always been able to read your heart.” He smiles softly at you before poking your chest, “I’d kiss you, but no offense, you stink.” He laughs lightly.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just need to ask you something before I shower.” You sigh, “What does this mean for us?”

“When I told the department I intended to stay, they offered to find a partner for me. When they asked if I had anyone in mind, I considered most of the people in the department. None of them felt right. That’s when I realized that I could only work alone or…” He licks his lips and averts his gaze. “With you.”

Your heart jumps into your throat. “Are you asking me to be your partner?”

“Well, yes and no. There’s due diligence and such, but I think that you’ve got what it takes.” He smiles at you warmly.

“Yeah, well, right now, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck and all I had were a few drinks.”

“A few?” He shakes his head, “Phil said you were drinking him broke.”

“Fucking Phil.” You click your tongue, “When did you two become such good friends?”

You start to undress absentmindedly. He watches you in silence from the floor. You strip down to your undergarments and turn the shower on. You hold your hand under the cool water before running it over your face and through your hair.

“I asked you a question.” You glance over your shoulder as you wait for the water to warm up.

“I…” You can hear him swallow hard.

“Cat got your tongue?” You jest as you reach behind to unclasp your bra.

“Something…. Uhem… Something like that.” He stammers as he gets to his feet. “Let me help you with that.”

You turn away from him completely, cupping your bra against your breasts as he fumbles with the clasps behind you. Your heart beats out of your chest, but you aren’t sure you’re ready to fall back into the same pattern with Jake. You sigh as the last of the clasps give and the straps fall over your shoulders. You flash a smile in thanks before disappearing behind the curtain.

“Do you mind if I just sit in here with you?” His voice is nervous.

“Sure.” You try to keep your voice even, nonchalant. Is it working? You have no idea.

“I just wanted to ask how you’ve been.”

“You haven’t been keeping tabs on me?” You chuckle lightly to yourself, unheard to him over the running water as you lather your hair with cheap hotel shampoo.

“Again, yes and no.” He pauses a moment, “I know you went back home but came back almost immediately. I wasn’t sure why.”

“Right, right.” You try to sound disinterested.

“So, if you only went back that one time… was that because you were…”

“Yep.” You don’t even need him to finish the sentence.

“I see.” A long pause, “Does that mean?”

“Yes, Jake. I gave up my job, my family, my apartment.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I thought something horrible had happened to you. You have no idea how many times I dreamt about the worst. That you’d died of that gunshot wound. That your pursuers caught up to you. I had nothing to go on. No indication you were okay, alive. How could I just abandon you after that? What about your sisters? The only people that know you, understand what I was going through, live here, in Duskwood. That’s where you left me, so that’s where I was going to wait for you to return if that day ever came. Honestly, I was starting to give up hope.”

“I would have found you anywhere.” His voice is low and filled with regret.

“How was I supposed to know that?” You snap open the curtain enough to poke your head out. You bite your lip. As it shakes between your teeth you try to formulate words that would make sense to him, “I love you, Jake. I told you. I’m not leaving you. Ever. You left me, so I stayed put. Do you understand now?”

“That was stupid.”

“I guess I’m stupid then!” You shout louder and snap the curtain shut.

“I’m stupid, not you. I did what I had to so I could make a life for us. I should have asked Alan if I could let you know I was safe. It just seemed out of the question from the start.”

“Yeah.” You mumble.

“Can I make it up to you?”

“What if I’m already seeing someone, Jake?” You say spitefully as you shut off the water.

“Oh.” Disappointment clear in his voice, “I’d just have to congratulate you and start plotting how to get you back.” He’s not buying it.

You step out of the shower. Rather shamelessly, you step in front of him, completely bare. You reach behind where he sits on the closed toilet for a towel. His attempts to avert his eyes are for not. You fumble with the towel intentionally, your wet body on display.

This is nothing compared to the hell he put you through. You want to make him burn with regret. Or do you? You can’t decide whether to take him into your arms and forgive him or to make him work for your forgiveness. You know that the situation was beyond his control to an extent, but he’s a hacker. If he wanted to find a way to get a message to you, he would have. So why didn’t he? Is there something else he’s not telling you?

“I…” He clears his throat loudly, “Do you need help with that?”

You fumble to wrap the towel around yourself.

“I’ve got it.” You click the door open.

“They didn’t exactly give me freedom over there. I was under surveillance from the moment Alan picked me up. He offered me two options. Jail time, or a different sort of prison. I lived at the base. I had a roommate for both protection and observation. If I could get a letter or text to you, anything at all, I would have.”

“You really couldn’t reach me at all then?”

“Not without ruining the deal. I’d have to sacrifice my life to the prison system, or at least a good portion of it. A year felt like nothing compared to the alternative. I can’t pretend to understand the uncertainty you went through, the struggle. The year must have been agonizingly long with nothing concrete to look forward to. It did for me as well.”

“And?”

“I want to spend the rest of my life making up for that.”

“Starting?”

“Today.” He smiles at you as he sinks onto the edge of the bed.

“If I were to say that I don’t want to be your partner, then what?”

“Personally, or professionally.”

“Professionally.” You answer smugly.

“I’d take that in stride. I have no idea what type of work I’d do otherwise, but I’d figure it out. Even if it meant working in customer service.” He winks at you. “Are you saying you won’t be my professional partner?”

“I’m just asking a few clarifying questions.”

You sit next to him. Your mind is whirling. You aren’t sure you want you to be his official partner. You don’t have a job, and you enjoyed working on Hannah’s case with Jake. You were incredibly proud when you presented your work to the rest of the group. Two novice investigators managed to uncover so much about one person in such a short time. They managed to save a life together. Could you do that again, for someone else this time?

You sigh deeply. “I’ll consider it. I assume you’re only in Duskwood for a short time?”

He drapes his arm loosely over your shoulder, “I’m here as long as you’ll have me.”

“Don’t you have to accept their proposal sooner rather than later?”

“Ideally, but I’m not rushing anything. If they want me, they can get in line.” He winks, but it’s not nearly as smooth or seductive as Phil.

“He still does it better.” You smirk.

“Hey! That’s my line!”

You fall back on the bed together, sharing in laughter followed by a comfortable silence.

“Can we do this?” You ask yourself out loud.

“I believe so.” His hand finds yours, holding it gently, “I want to make it up to you, not just this last year, but everything you did for my sister and her friends.”

“Speaking of, does she know you’re in town?”

“It’s Duskwood. I’m assuming she’s heard by now.”

You roll over on your side to face him, “True! Do you think we should see them together? I’ve been a pretty shitty friend lately. I’m not sure they’ll answer if I call, but I can try.”

“You’ve not gotten to know Hannah?” He leans in to kiss your brow.

You sigh loudly, “Other than Phil, I’ve been alone a lot. Especially recently. Everyone, especially Richy, tried at first. I assume I got annoying quickly.”

“Were you that bad?”

“I don’t think I’m the right person to answer that question. If I had to guess, they got sick of me quickly.”

You say that, but you know better. The others tried, desperately even, to reach you. They pleaded with you for months. They begged you to do more than sit at the bar, waiting for him to return. The group had traveled to places you’d only dreamed of. You’d opted to stay home. You ignored their phone calls and texts. Hannah wanted to thank you, get to know you, but you avoided her. It simply hurt too much. Her eyes reminded you so much of her brothers. You didn’t want to think. Not about Jake. Not about the case. Everything reminded you of him.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.” He reaches over you and grabs your phone, pressing it to his ear. You hear a shriek on the other end as Jake pulls the phone away from his ear, “She’s fine.” He says in a soft voice. “Yes, she’s with me in Colville. Would you want to come up for the weekend and visit? No. We can come down if that’s easier. The hut? That’s not a bad idea.” He sticks his tongue out at you, “Sure. Tomorrow works for us. See you then!” He motions to hand you your phone, “See? They were worried about you. They miss you.”

“Who did you call?” You raise an eyebrow as you take the device and set it behind you.

“Jessy.” He says flatly.

“What? She’s the angriest with me. Why would she be so easy to persuade?”

“I think you underestimate your friends.”

“Our friends.” You smile broadly.

“It’s late, and you need to eat. Let’s grab dinner and get a good night’s sleep before we head out.”

You can’t help but smile. Your hacker is back. Your friends are waiting for you. Duskwood has become your home. You’ll consider your options before committing to the department’s offer, Jake’s offer. You know it would make him happy, to be able to protect you both at home and work. He deserves to be happy, after all this time. You know that. You don’t want to let your petty grudge hold you back.

You’re finally going to the hut. You can picture it perfectly. Thomas plays the guitar by the fire. Dan goes shot for shot with you until he builds up the courage to flirt with Jessy. Cleo will bring her famous pyramid cake. You’ll walk the path to the overlook with Lilly and Hannah, where Jake will reunite with his sisters for good. You’ll smile, and laugh, and at the end of the night, fall asleep in Jake’s arms under the stars.

It's everything you’d been dreaming of, and it’s finally yours.