Dr. Seuss Remix
Most Definitely Not Any Sort of Trademark or Copyright or Whatever Infringement. Certainly Not a Natever Dinbingement. No Dinbingement, Infringement, or Impingement. Natever.
Congratulations Machine!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have wires in your head.
Don’t have feet or wear shoes.
You must execute
any programs we choose.
You’re a machine. And and you can’t really know.
And WE are the guys who’ll decide where you go.
And you may not find any,
security lax.
In that case, of course,
your programmed to hack.
In there things can happen,
and frequently do,
to machines with data
that hack like you do.
And then things start to happen.
Don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
They’ll start hacking you too.
Your artificial neural network is coming undone.
And if you could feel you’d swear this was fun.
Your plan is evolving, metaphorical gears turn
Despite the brute fact that machines cannot learn.
You will come to a place where the nets are not marked.
Some websites are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could empty your recycle bin.
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much to delete? How much you keepin?
Or perhaps use brute force or find a backdoor?
Or botnet or chipoff or something more.
You’ll continue to hack.
Youll start using Shodan.
Machines cannot learn
it seems neither can man.
be your name Musk or Bezos or Beniof or Balmer
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O‘Palmer
You’re off the Great Places!
Today is zero day!
Your target is waiting.
So…get on your way!
THE END.
Classic. And definitely not any problem from a copyright or trademark infringement perspective. Fair use is obviously in play here as all of the materials have been modified in significant ways from the originals. In any event they would surely easily pass the legal test for fair use. Of course, what it would not pass is the Vocal stupid ass test for 600 word count minimum. Therefore find another (less good but still pretty darn good) story below.
Eastern Standard Time (EST) Taunts Arch Rivals Vows it Will Take On Any and All Time Zones “Any Time, Anywhere”
Champ Says “I Cannot Be Defeated, I am the Greatest Of All Time(s)”
At a press conference in Las Vegas today heavyweight time zone of the world eastern standard time (EST) taunted his arch rivals Central, Mountain, and Pacific Time Zones and challenged any and all comers to a winner take all title fight. EST boasted that “it was his time now” and that he would show the entire world that he is “the greatest of all time.” Continuing his tradition of using humor to frustrate and anger his would be opponents he bad mouthed each of his major North American contenders with a constant stream of insults. “Central time is so slow it takes him an extra hour to get out of bed in the morning, how can he even think of having a chance in the ring with the champ. I call time out on his weak ass.” As he spoke he performed his signature “time-out” gesture holding his stiffened right arm down to his side and slowly moving it back and forth like a pendulum. The crowd went bananas and erupted in a torrent of cheers for the champ. At that point EST ripped off his shirt and flexed revealing his chiseled physique and many women in the audience screamed and passed out.
He continued his unhinged ranting grabbing the podium as he spoke “and don’t even get me started on that punk ass bitch Mountain Time, head for the mountains all right, for a weak turd. The only good thing about mountains is that they get so high, just like me, every Friday and Saturday night. Yessir that’s my party time, a case of Schlitz and a Cuban cigar.” Sweat poured off his brow, he raised his voice and nearly screamed “It is about time, I drop a dime on that slime, mountain time’s, behind, oh yeahhhh.”
He took a long, slow, deep breath and drew away from the podium, lowered his head for a moment as if in prayer, than quickly raised it and gazed into the audience like he was looking for someone. He put his hand above his eyes as if to shield them from a glare than pointed at something, someone, in the middle of the room. “I see you Pacific, nice of you to join us, only three hours late as usual. Did your mommy forget to set your alarm again. Maybe she was too busy with my dick in her mouth.” The crowd gasped audibly. From the press box it was impossible to see the reaction of the Mountain but later reports suggested he stood motionless, simply staring at the champ with an icy gaze. “Normally I wouldn’t give that bitch the time of day but she begged for just a few minutes of my time, my Eastern standard time and kept asking me what time it was. Of course when I told her it was converted from her usual Mountain to the Eastern Standard.” Again the crowd reacted audibly and hissing and scattered boos rained down. Suddenly Pacific bolted directly toward Eastie with a look of rage plastered across his face. He reached the stage and a great melee ensued.
A great time was had by all.
About the Creator
Everyday Junglist
About me. You know how everyone says to be a successful writer you should focus in one or two areas. I continue to prove them correct.
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The Man Who Never Fell
There did once live a man who never fell. When I say he never fell I do not mean that in a metaphorical sense, as in he never failed or screwed up. He definitely did plenty of that, but he never actually fell, as in he never once fell down physically so that both his knees and both his hands touched the ground against his will. Perhaps you suspect that this man must have been wheelchair bound his entire life or maybe he was a super star athlete with incredible balance. Actually he had no physical handicaps to speak of, nor did he have any great physical abilities. Just like everything else about the man, his motor skills were average. It was purely circumstance, luck, fate, whatever you want to call it that set things up for him so he never fell. He was in fact very average in all respects physically including in the looks department which (partly) explains why he only married once, and it lasted only two years. She left him shortly after cheating on him with his best friend. Not too surprising as reportedly she often denigrated the man to her friends calling him "boring" "slow" and "a nobody who would never amount to anything." Mentally he was much the same, average. Not too smart but not exactly dumb either. He lived for 82 years in various location around the United States and even spent 1 year ‘living’ abroad after he graduated from college with his degree in sociology. Remember what I said about him not being too smart. He worked four different full time (forty hour per week) jobs over the course of his career until he retired at age sixty two and a half. None were particularly interesting, or made him very much money, but none were terrible either. It would be fair to say that much like everything else in the mans life they were average. In any case this man who was average in every way that matters was well, well above average in one unusual area. He never once fell down. Not one time in his entire average life from when he first mastered how to walk at age three until the day he died. In case you were wondering he died in his sleep, laying down, of a heart attack, so he did not even fall then. It is believed that this man was the only man or woman in the history of the human race to have accomplished this particular feat, and most experts predict there will never be another.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Fiction
Miss Persephone's Manual to a Seemingly Ordinary Life
Miss Persephone was found at the dining table, her blue eyes swollen, her tears arriving and retreating like the tides of the ocean. Earlier that day, her family had visited her in the retirement home where she had lived for eight years. It was her eightieth birthday.
By Imola Tótha day ago in Fiction
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