Double sided

On one side there was me….

Looking through a lens from where my past life had left me. I watched a girl fighting for herself with no end. For nearly 2 decades she craved the adventures I now walk within. I saw the fear in her eyes with the intense thoughts of leaving her kin behind, but there was nothing left for her there and that was a fact she could no longer hide. They were all content and she couldn’t stand it…

“GET ME OIT OF HERE!”

“This place is dying and no one wants to change, or leave, or do anything interesting…. You’re killing me!!”

the boredom and the guilt of letting herself think all these things seemingly uncontrolled… it made her skin crawl. She wanted change, but like so many she wanted to take them with her. She tried to fit between their lines cuz she thought they’d take the time to see me in mine. The ones that did couldn’t believe their eyes or their ears cuz they assumed she wasn't being real…. That’s the thing that pushed her away for real…. They wanted her to share, but brushed off what she said as a hoax. She gave the last bit of hope she had (for them) into proving herself time and time again until they knew what she said was true & was indeed valuable. But that was something she should’ve never had to do. Not after all these years of telling the truth. She had never been a liar and that was something she thought that they knew.

The truth is, for us, where they wanted to be was never really our scene… We found other shii much more interesting and when presenting just a glimpse of it, it was written off as things she knew nothing about, but I did… I took the ‘time’ to reaearch it & found reasonable resources and trustworthy sources for us to tell them about. After all of our efforts, I could no longer wait… cuz in my mind was a goldmine I could no longer escape.

“GET OUT! LEAVE… if you do things will be set up perfectly for you. Reinvent yourself, please… do it for me” she said… over and over again. “You’ve done everything here that you possibly can! Sometimes it IS the place you’re in… you have to leave us here.”

I would replay all the things I’d accomplished and all the projects I was planning to implement to make this world a better place, but inside it was all about to break. The guilt and the pain of leaving them in this place… where almost no life can create or escape. Her hope had run thin, her energy drained, her vigour for life depleting by the day, & the idea of ‘escape’ had even started to fade away.

“Okay, I’ll go away… i cant let you die out on me. Not before I even have a chance to let you out.” You need the right climate to sprout 🌱, so here’s to me 🥂, spread your wings and grow. I booked a plane ticket, “no more excuses”, I said.

I needed to get away and that’s what I did…. I was pulled away from that lens of reminiscence once again & this time to a close friend tapping me on my shoulder saying “its about to begin”. I ‘woke up’ to my new perspective, sitting at my desk with a warm cup of tea in my hand. I snickered and got up thinking “things are great”, and they are, but with a slight spin.

Now, on this side of the lens a surge of confidence came in and nothing could disrupt my headspace again. On this end I had made a few new friends, & they were all part of the “family business”. We’re all trained properly; in the arts, in combat, communication, encrypting and so many other things… we’re professionals after all.

I’m running 1/3 of the businesses and lets just say, they aren’t all… legitimate, but trust, im dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s… everything’s legal that needs to be. This empire is not quite where we want it to be, yet. So, for now, where I work things are a bit tricky.… its under ‘old money’ and a good family & I’m here… by chance really. The head of all the “family businesses” is known as the ‘professor’. He was actually a professor at the university I’m attending. They take in ‘special’ and ‘elite’ student types, but we havent gotten to that yet. 22

This is the intro into my many adventures. I hope you’ll give a like, some support and maybe (kindly) let me know how to improve too ~snowflake :(