Door closed open once more.

The house was quiet since mom died, outside the wind was howling as if it were mourning. It sounded like a wolf that had lost its pack and was searching for them. I was laying in bed, my mind racing with so much information. My mom had left me a key to a room that in all my years I had never been in. I do remember her going in and out of the room but it just never peaked my interest. I never even realized that it was locked.

The note my mom had left me simply said this is your fathers room. Please help him, be his hands and heart. It made no sense. It took me a bit to enter the room I don’t know why, it just felt too much like mom. I was right, I placed the key in the door and the click resounded through the house, and as soon as I opened the door I could smell moms scent. It came to me as if she were standing right there I could see her smile as clear as day.

What greeted me in this room was a cacophony of gifts, cards, letters, nicknacks and a huge old desk in the center of the room. A flashback slammed into me hard, of my father sitting at this desk writing away. He would regale me with stories that he would act out as he told them. I would laugh and giggle and hug into him as he voiced and acted out every character. 

An envelope on the desk pulled me out of the memory as I realized it was my mothers handwriting. I picked it up paused for a moment as I saw my name written beautifully on it. My fingers lightly touched and traced the letters, before i carefully opened it.

——————————————————————— 

My Dearest Daughter,

I hope you know I love you more than words can convey. I am sorry that I am not there for you but I will always be there.

 ———————————————————————

Tears burst forth as I paused and hugged the letter to me. It took me many moments to be able to continue.

———————————————————————- 

Now it’s only you and your father please be kind to him. He is not who you think he is. In this room are the many things he has bought wrote created with family and friends in mind. He can be very absent minded so I would help him spread his beautiful sentiments. Over the years he had gathered more than I could ever deliver. I truly hope that this may give you some insight into his eccentric aloof ways. And that you can finish the work I started.

Love always

Mom

 ———————————————————————-

I found myself aimlessly walking around the room snippets of moments replaying in my head.

 ******************************************

He does love you. He gets you such thoughtful gifts and loving cards.

Mom! I know it’s you that gets me all that stuff. You can stop with the charade! I am not a child any more your make believe tales have no influence here.

Dear you don’t understand.

I don’t want to hear it mom…

******************************************* 

Why didn’t I give her the chance to explain?

 ===============================

Dad why do you have to be so silly all the time! You are so embarrassing. My friends think you are weird and creepy. Can you stop embarrassing me!

 ===============================

I thought I saw him crying when I looked back at the car after I got out and slammed the door. But I told myself that wasn’t possible I had never seen him cry.

My mothers hand writing brought me back as I saw it next to a mountain of stuff. It said my name and next to it were gifts and many things I liked and what looked like notes in a familiar handwriting. I picked up the papers…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Today you were born it was a glorious site. I never thought I could love someone so easily so wholly. My heart leapt and danced as I saw you for the first time. Yet I’ve known you all my life from the very before till the unseen after. I’ve been waiting for you because I knew you would come. Here in my heart you were and now here in the world you have finally arrived.

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The tears came to me again as I put down my fathers notes and just stood there.

At first i didn’t notice the music it blended in with the sounds of the night. Soon i realized that a soft song was playing. It silently snuck through the house, through the small openings as if a thief easing its way through corners and shadows.

I raised an ear to see if i could get a better grasp of what song was playing. No matter how hard i tried i could not figure it out. I made my way out of the room and i followed the haunting melody through the house. I found myself at the music room slowly opening the door where I saw my father.

His eyes were closed and his arms where out as if he were holding someone. Closely tenderly with so much emotion he grasped at the air trying to make wish into reality. Slowly step by step he waltzed around the room as if in a trance. He danced as if he and the music were one and the music were filling every part of him. He and his unseen partner glided across the floor yet his feet looked as if they never touched the hardwood. His face was wet with tears as he sighed heavily. For a moment it felt to me as if the air in the room became heavy. I couldn't breath my chest felt as if a thousand suns had exploded at once. Through all that I swore I caught the scent of my mom wafting through the whole of the room . Maybe it was because I had just been in the room. Maybe it was because my father had manifested her through his deep sorrow.

Whether he saw me or not I do not know but I got the feeling he did not care if I did. He just gracefully continued to dance gliding across the room holding close his phantom partner. My mom was right my father was not who I thought he was. Why had I stopped seeing him? The storyteller the hero the man with a huge heart.